Don't know what to think....convo between dh and coworker...update wow....they started talking about screwing second update: the confrontation
I don't know if anyone remembers a couple of weeks ago I posted about my dh having inappropriate conversations with a woman coworker. Nothing really bad just flirty. Well I confronted him last week and I thought everything was good. He said his intentions were not what I thought and we talked about how we both needed to give each other more attention. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, well he hadn't been talking to this lady much except for work related stuff since we chatted. I thought he understood the flirting hurt me, And then today this is their conversation, Some doesn't make sense....
Through e-mail he said: Thanks for the split (on a home they recently sold)
Her: oh sure $1.00 is your cut!
Him: lol teasing...
Her:oh no im gonna give you a cut...
Him:ohhh you are?? lol
Him: sweet i can buy a piece of bubblegum now, everything is so expensive lol
Her: you just want a piece of something! lol
The last message he immediately sent to trash. He didn't respond on e-mail so I got curious and logged onto facebook where this convo continued....
Her: You want a piece lol
Him: heck yea I do!!! lol
Her: Board (not sure what that means....bored?)
Her: nobody (i guess customers) how about that video of great whites gobbling up that guy?
Him: yea i know....lol off subject for a sec i bet you want a piece! lol sharkbait too
Her: shark? yes now! bring it on!
Him: yep i can! lol you'd go by the water?? lol not me.
Him: lol me? no way!
Him: they do? girls know everything??? (not sure what that means)
Her: we always know
Him:hmmmmm....that's a thought!
All I've read so far. I am so beyond pissed. It could be talking about their deal but it sounds like more than that and I am livid! I am shaking I am so mad. WTF? This lady is about 20 years older than dh and he claims he isn't at all attracted to her but they sure sound friendly, don't they?
To add....she told him he isn't an average guy, not a dick. He told her she could talk to him about anything. Then later they started talking about being tan. He called himself caramel, she said she liked it and wanted to be that way. He said it's good and it taste good. She said, it is. Then he commented, "now it's getting good! lol j/k". Ugh, I'm going to be sick. It just all rubs me the wrong way. It may only be flirting but it bugs the crap out of me.
Okay so I just got what i needed. They started talking about having sex. I am so mad I can't even see straight.
This was part of the convo from yesterday. I wanted to add it just to get insight so when I tell you his explanation you can agree he is full of shit. (T is her, B is him)
T: Hey hoe no customers
B: wouldn't you wanna know ;) ;) lol none really? u will watch...
T: Oh i know 6 reasons lol
B: what are they?
B: uhhhh ok u lost me lol
T: you have one at home one on the way and four others. you are a hoe
B" yes ma'am
B: but hey at least it's not with 6 different women
T: true that's a good thing
B: i do what i do and i do it well lmao lmao
T: yes you do glad i'm old or I could get that way talking to you lol
B: lol ehhhh not old just a number! lol
T: i have no eggs for your swimmers
B all the better lol lmao j/k
T yes i know no your not! lol
B: neither are U! lol
T Nope lol
B oh my goodness toni u are AWESOME
T no just bad, bad girl, very bad
B that's still awesome j/s
T okay whatever
B it is!!! don't be like that
T ok was kidding
B u better be :) or are you playing hard
T hard is always better I'm just saying
B is it? well i think so too but slow and easy
T true let me get mine before you get yours
B oh most definitely!!!
T okay stop i'm laughing so bad i'm gonna pee my pants we are so board
B lmao ha ha gotcha! yes we are! can we say mind in the gutter?
T we're bad
B very huh? lol
T i'd say so
After that the convo mostly went back to work stuff with some other inappropriate things thrown in. At one point he asked if she was sweet on him and if he could talk to her like that.
So last night as soon as he walked in he knew I was mad, there was no hiding it. He asked me what was wrong and at first I couldn't even talk. Finally I asked him, "When you've accused me of talking to other people what kind of talking do you mean? What kind of convo would you deem inappropriate?" And he said, "well anything....about meeting up." So I asked if he felt only talkng about meeting up was inappropriate or would be okay if I talked to some guy about sexual things. He said no that would be wrong too. So I asked if he talked to toni any other way other than e-mail and he said yeah on occasion. I then asked if they ever talked about anything inappropriate, like sexual? He kind of got all squirmish and said "not not that I can recall" O.o I said " are you sure about that?" and he said "yeah not that I can think of." So he LIED straight to my face. So then I told him "i have the screen shots of today's conversation if you would like to look at it with me since you seem to have forgotton." So then I read the past two days of conversation. He laughed after every line! Saying ahh yeah that was nothing! We were just kidding. It was all "harmless". He said harmless so many times I now dispise the word. I told him there was NOTHING harmless about it. It was completely inappropriate to joke about anything sexual and I believe he wants something to happen. So we argued back and forth. He insisted it was nothing, I insisted it didn't matter because damage was done and the fact he deleted messages showed he knew it was wrong. He didn't seem to take me serious until I mentioned going to my sister's house. Then his whole attitude changed. Oh did it change. He couldn't believe I wanted to leave over a convo, after all nothing happened right? I told him it didn't matter, I could see where it was leading and that was enough. I'm not going to live my life worrying about shit like this. At one point, my anger turned to major hurt and I cried. Ugh, I didn't want to but it just came out. He begged and begged me to stay, said it was wrong, he knew he was wrong, and he was so sorry he hurt me. He still never admitted it was more than a joke though and that pisses me off! It got so late last night I ended up calling my sister and telling her I would stay here. I feel in a limbo right now. I don't want to just give up and of course he swears it will never happen again but how can I trust that? I told him he needed to be very honest with himself and with me if this was going to work out. He can't just shrug it off as nothing and think we can get past it. He has to admit he was trying to start something. He still hasn't. And of course all this crap caused me to start having contractions so I'm worried I'm trying to go into labor. I'm trying to take it easy. I'm waiting to see what he says to her. He said it will stop but I want him to TELL her that. I want him to say he was wrong and they should NOT have convos and he will no longer engage in them. He also kept saying he was trying to stop the conversation......bullshit he was institigating them! I'm not fucking stupid. Sorry this is so long!
Ugh, I am soooo confused right now! Is it normal to want to just hold on because that's your life and sense of normal? I am still so hurt and I know he's full of shit but I am having a hard time letting go. There is so much at stake and I don't know what to do. His kids came by last night because they missed their little brother and I just sat there watching them thinking how could he do this? How could he put us in this position of possible brokeness? If it was so "harmless" then why jeopardize what we have? He knew I had issues with the past convo and he continued and took a step further. What the fuck was he thinking? And now I have such a huge decision to make. I hate this, all of it. And especially the timing with a baby due at any moment. I hate thinking about starting over but all trust is now gone. I don't believe him and it still hurts so bad to read. Something that he claims meant nothing to him has completely destroyed me. It's not fair and right now I hate him for it.