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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

New York State grandparents rights question

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 54 Replies
My dd is 3.5 and doesn't want to go to her nana's house. Up until now shes gone and spent the night once a week. Mil is threatening to go for grandparents rights because she thinks we're just trying to keep dd from her for some odd reason. If it comes to court will they take into consideration that she doesn't want to go?
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:25 AM

NY does NOT have Grandparents Rights. The only way that she could get visitation is if she has had custody of the child at some point and for asignificant amount of time. I know because I live in NY and I have custody of 4 of my grandkids. BUT for a little over a year my DD get the kids back and I petitioned for visitation and it was only granted because I had Temp. Custody for 3 years prior

http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparents-rights/grandparent-rights-united-states

NEW YORK
The custody statute does not provide statutory factors for determining the best interest of the child. A court may grant visitation rights if at least one of the child's parents is deceased or if the court finds that equity demands intervention based on the circumstances of the case. Adoption does not automatically cut off the visitation rights of grandparents. Note that a New York appellate court in 2001 ruled the New York statute providing grandparental visitation unconstitutional.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:35 AM
Quoting Sassy762:

NY does NOT have Grandparents Rights. The only way that she could get visitation is if she has had custody of the child at some point and for asignificant amount of time. I know because I live in NY and I have custody of 4 of my grandkids. BUT for a little over a year my DD get the kids back and I petitioned for visitation and it was only granted because I had Temp. Custody for 3 years prior




Thank you. My mom and her have known each other for 13 years so since I was about 11 and I guess she sees me as a child that she can control. She talks ill about me to people, and tries to decide when my dd comes over. She expects to see dd when she wants with no notice, I'm supposed to bring dd to her because they never visit and I just feel like because she's always wanted a dd but had 2 boys she's trying to control my dd. I want my dd to have a relationship with her grandparents because I didn't get 5hat chance but this woman bitches at me whenever I don't do what she says and its causing problems in my relationship now. For example normally dd goes on Monday nights but she didn't call to let me know what time and I was busy with doctors. When she called I was just getting in so I called her back and she bitched at me for not telling her sooner that dd wasn't coming over. I feel like if she wants to see dd she should be calling, am I wrong?
katemckenzie
by Kate on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:37 AM

No.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:39 AM
1 mom liked this

Don't let her tell you what to do...never. You gave birth to that child and you are in charge..NOT MIL.

Let her take you to court....the Judge will dismiss it

Where is the father...her son?

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Sassy762:

NY does NOT have Grandparents Rights. The only way that she could get visitation is if she has had custody of the child at some point and for asignificant amount of time. I know because I live in NY and I have custody of 4 of my grandkids. BUT for a little over a year my DD get the kids back and I petitioned for visitation and it was only granted because I had Temp. Custody for 3 years prior




Thank you. My mom and her have known each other for 13 years so since I was about 11 and I guess she sees me as a child that she can control. She talks ill about me to people, and tries to decide when my dd comes over. She expects to see dd when she wants with no notice, I'm supposed to bring dd to her because they never visit and I just feel like because she's always wanted a dd but had 2 boys she's trying to control my dd. I want my dd to have a relationship with her grandparents because I didn't get 5hat chance but this woman bitches at me whenever I don't do what she says and its causing problems in my relationship now. For example normally dd goes on Monday nights but she didn't call to let me know what time and I was busy with doctors. When she called I was just getting in so I called her back and she bitched at me for not telling her sooner that dd wasn't coming over. I feel like if she wants to see dd she should be calling, am I wrong?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:42 AM
Quoting Sassy762:




We're together...he looks at it like its a break for us which I get. He wants to spend time alone but I just feel like if she doesn't want to go she shouldn't. He thinks I'm letting a 3 year old be the boss.
MedicMommy2
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:43 AM
Don't let someone else dictate how you raise your child and what you do with her. She does not want to go for a reason, may be just a phase or she may have a real reason. Valid or not it is her reason.
Pink.Sunshine.
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:43 AM

We don't have that in NY.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:44 AM
Quoting MedicMommy2:

Don't let someone else dictate how you raise your child and what you do with her. She does not want to go for a reason, may be just a phase or she may have a real reason. Valid or not it is her reason.




Thats what I tried telling my dh and he thinks I'm giving dd control. I tried telling him his mom is trying to control things. I get he wants alone time but I don't want her to go if she doesn't want to.
grapesandwrath
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:45 AM
Pretty sure no one, grandparent or not, can insist on seeing your child without a court order
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:45 AM
Quoting Pink.Sunshine.:

We don't have that in NY.




thanks
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