So I'm sitting on the toilet, and I look down, and there's a FUCKING BROWN RECLUSE SPIDER hauling ass toward my foot.
Mid stream, I dive off the toilet, shoot out into the hallway, JUST PISSING ALL OVER THE FLOOR, screaming like a fucking maniac.
Spider's don't normally bother me too much, BUT A BROWN RECLUSE, AND MY PANTS WERE DOWN!
DF is about to piss HIS pants he's laughing so hard. He smashed the spider, and told me I have to clean up my own pee.
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THAT BATHROOM FOR THE NEXT WEEK. I'LL PISS IN THE KITCHEN SINK FOR ALL I CARE!
FUCK THAT NOISE.