Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

10 Uncomfortable Confessions from an Imperfect Mom

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:46 AM
  • 78 Replies
8 moms liked this

10 Uncomfortable Confessions from an Imperfect Mom

by Linda Sharps

1. I am estranged from my father and I have a polite but extremely distant relationship with my mother and I sometimes worry that my lack of family bonds and fear of rejection damaged a number of buried but critical internal structures that will forever prevent me from forming intimate friendships and will repeatedly surface in ways that will negatively affect how I parent my children.

Well! So much for easing you into the topic, right?

Actually, I have no overarching topic today, just a series of confessionals. No reason, aside from the fact that sometimes it feels cathartic to peel off some unsavory truths and lay them out in the open. You're only as sick as your secrets, they say. I have no idea if that's true, but like Mulder, I want to believe.

2. My five-year-old greatly prefers my husband and it has been at times the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life. My oldest went through a Daddy phase too, but this is different. This is something I often take personally even though I know I shouldn't. Every slight and refusal digs into me and carves a new wound. I worry that I make it worse by pulling back but I can't seem to help it. My older son feels sorry for me and comforts me and tells me "I want to be on Mommy's team because Dylan never is" and it stirs up the most confusing murk of emotional flotsam: sorrow, self-pity, a grasping gratitude for my 7-year-old's sensitivity, a hateful internal inventory of everything that must be wrong with me and every reason my husband is the superior parent.

3. I constantly compare myself to the sort of mother I think I'm supposed to be and come up short every time. I worry about how my children will remember me. I secretly want to be beautiful and capable in their eyes, loving and gentle and brave. Perfect. The good queen from a fairytale -- when in reality I am sarcastic, impatient, fearful, weak. Not the evil queen, exactly, but flawed and unlovely and all too human.

4. At nearly forty years old, I am neither a talented homemaker nor an accomplished career woman. If there is a dream to be followed, a passion to pursue, I do not know what mine is. Some days I'm okay with the goal of being present and doing the best I can in my various roles. Other days I wonder what happened to the ambitious, driven person I used to be.

5. Speaking of, I once ran a marathon. I did a sprint triathlon. I worked out with a personal trainer. I was strong and fit and confident. Now I'm so out of shape I threw out my back lifting groceries into the trunk of my car. I'm scared I will never be able to crawl out of this fitness slump I've been in for two years and counting, and I'll spend the rest of my life feeling lazy and unattractive and unhealthy.

6. I'm terrified my children will inherit my alcoholism.

7. I resent the drudgery of stay-home motherhood, and the way I am responsible yet receive no recognition for the most boring and unsavory tasks while my husband gets to walk in the door at 5:30 every day to a clean house and a hero's welcome.

8. I am lonely.

9. I know that every time I feel defensive or judgmental about someone else's parenting choices it's because I am less than confident about my own.

10. I will never understand how I came to be so lucky as to have my amazing family. My beautiful, miraculous, wild little boys. My devoted, forgiving, loving husband. Every day I tell myself the same thing: If I only do one thing right in my life, please, please, please. Let it be this.

The floor is open, dear readers. Do you have any difficult confessions of your own to share?

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
JDmommyJD
by the sauce is boss on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this

 Hmmm...

I think I too strive to be that perfect mother. I suppress the urge to do some things I would really like to do, because no "good" mom would ever ...

Sometimes I am guilty of not wearing what I want, because even tho Im still young (yes, I think im young), Im a mom..and I cant wear that.

I care what people think. Way to much, actually.

butzi
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:56 AM

I am not , nor can I be perfect. Took me a long time to accept this fact.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:59 AM
A lot of times I don't know how to deal with my daughter. Since I was a child I've always been a thinker. I have never been very emotional, my dd is VERY emotional and sometimes I hurt her feelings and don't even know what I've done to hurt them.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:12 AM

You sound very depressed.  Have you thought about councelling?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:28 AM

 Sounds to me like the author of this article needs to see a therapist, get some medication, and quit whining about things she can change and change them. 

What an idiot.

valeriesmom1112
by Silver Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:30 AM
2 moms liked this
I want to be the "perfect" housewife but have no motivation most days.
CorpCityGrl
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:40 AM

I strive to do it all - be a "perfect" mother and wife AND an exceptional career woman and most days I think I fail.  I try to do the best I can but work hard on letting go of the "perfect" ideal.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:41 AM
21 moms liked this


I don't think it's fair to slam the author like that.  I think every person has their insecurities and the author simply wrote it down and shared.  She's not an idiot - she's being honest.  No one is perfect and I'm sure if you really dug deep down inside, you'd have your own insecurities and failings too.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Sounds to me like the author of this article needs to see a therapist, get some medication, and quit whining about things she can change and change them. 

What an idiot.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:43 AM
2 moms liked this

I am #3 all the way to #10. Kind of strange to see someone else write how I feel.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:47 AM

 I'm sorry for saying idiot if it bothers you, but to me, that's what she is. 

 She's writing about a bunch of nonsense that she could change if she wanted to.  If she were that worried or upset about her shortcomings, she would do something about them.  Why bother writing down and "sharing"?  Wouldn't her time be better spent working on changing?

I believe she's a freelance writer and I can't imagine why anyone would pay her money for this.  It's obvious she's depressed and probably would benefit from medication.

Quoting Anonymous:

 

I don't think it's fair to slam the author like that.  I think every person has their insecurities and the author simply wrote it down and shared.  She's not an idiot - she's being honest.  No one is perfect and I'm sure if you really dug deep down inside, you'd have your own insecurities and failings too.

Quoting Anonymous:

 Sounds to me like the author of this article needs to see a therapist, get some medication, and quit whining about things she can change and change them. 

What an idiot.

 

 

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN