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So mad I cant see straight!!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

My step mom is a therapist and has connections back home, that is the ONLY reason I confided in her. DH had been having problems and is getting medically discharged from the military. I told my step mom about it in CONFIDENCE so she could give me advice and help get me in touch with her friend at the VA back home so we can figure out continuing his therapy. Just a second ago I got a message from my sister asking if I was busy. I said no and she said 'so what kind of therapy is *husbands name* in' I said "the kind where I have a long talk with our darling step mother about what it means when someone tells them in confidence" My husbands problems are private and not a topic for gosip! You think someone with a few PHD's would understand this!!! You especially think someone in that field would understand what privacy is! Guess not!!!!! I will NEVER trust or confide in her again!!! It was bad enough that i even went to her with something in our private life (that is not something i ever do), but I thought with her line of work and connections it would be worth letting them in. I was SO SO WRONG!!!! I am not exactly close to my sister and she does not exactly know what bounderies are all the time. Not to mention DH did not want anyone to know...I am JUST SO PISSED!!!!!!! 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AuntieM
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:03 PM
Did you tell her not to say anything to anyone? And if your husband didn't want anyone to know, didn't you break his confidence by telling your step mom? Either way, she shouldn't have said anything to your sister.
chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, calm down.  First of all, WHY did sis send you that text?  Does your sister have connections or know somebody (possibly at the VA) that could help your husband?  Maybe darling step-mother was trying to facilitate his treatment options and wasn't just gossiping.  Even if not, you are overreacting.  There is nothing shameful in needing mental help.  You are acting as if this is the greatest embarrassment ever.  It's not.  The ultimate goal is to help hubby, so keep yourself focused on that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Yes I did and he knew I was talking to her about it some bc of her friend at the VA and when I called to ask about the medications they put him on. 

Quoting AuntieM:

Did you tell her not to say anything to anyone? And if your husband didn't want anyone to know, didn't you break his confidence by telling your step mom? Either way, she shouldn't have said anything to your sister.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:12 PM

No, she doesn't. And I do not think that I am over reacting to her sharring personal information that she was told in confidence. I know it is not shameful, but it is not anyones business. If we do not want everyone to know what we are dealing with that is our decission. If we had wanted my sister to know I would have told her. 

Quoting chalisa0:

Well, calm down.  First of all, WHY did sis send you that text?  Does your sister have connections or know somebody (possibly at the VA) that could help your husband?  Maybe darling step-mother was trying to facilitate his treatment options and wasn't just gossiping.  Even if not, you are overreacting.  There is nothing shameful in needing mental help.  You are acting as if this is the greatest embarrassment ever.  It's not.  The ultimate goal is to help hubby, so keep yourself focused on that.


malibucj
by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Your step mom was in the wrong by not keeping it private. But I never mix stuff like that with family.

Yogamom08
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:17 PM
Definitely don't trust her with any private information.
Love060708kids
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:18 PM

I'm sorry :(

I hope your husband gets the help he needs, it's great that he actually is in therapy.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:19 PM

I never do either and things like this are exactly why. We do not feel like every one and their mother needs to be involved in our private life. I *thought* that in this one case because of her profession it would be relevant and OK. 

Quoting malibucj:

Your step mom was in the wrong by not keeping it private. But I never mix stuff like that with family.


areyouatroll
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:22 PM
Yea she's not nice.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:32 PM

I just cant figure out WHY she would tell her!!! Or anyone other than her friend at the VA. I knew she was going to talk to her, but that had a purpose. Telling my sister? Not so much. I dont tell my sister about my life and she does not tell me about hers. Our relationship is causal. We are 9 years apart in age. When I was little my dad got me for 1-2 weekends a month and I do not even remember seeing her much then. By the time I was going to his house more my sister had gone away to college and I did not see or talk to her at all. She has only met my husband maybe 4 times, if even that, in the almost 7 years we have been married. So it is not like we are close. It is not like we dont care about each other or anything, we are just not the close always there for each other kid of sisters.  

Quoting areyouatroll:

Yea she's not nice.


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