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I am living off my father's inheritance and feel so worthless and guilty?

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:16 AM
  • 52 Replies

My father died May 27 this eyar as a result of unexpected complciations from acquired hospital infections afetr cardiovascualr surgery that was supposed to extend and improve his life. Anyways he and my mom divorced in 2010 bc my mom cheated on him and chsoe that guy over him. my dad left my brother and I as his beneficiaries (50/50) except for 40k for my mom.

Anyways total he left me 115,000 which most I've put in a locked account that I can just transfer back into checking if i need to. I am currently not working right now, bc it's summer and I'm a teacher's aide for special ed kids. I only make 980 a month there (part-time). I took time off to grieve and also be with him when he was near the end. i don't know if i can ever go back now, bc for starters I moved and it's even more of a commute than it was for a little piddly pay plus bridge toll and also mainly bc of all the connotations i have with it now (my dad being sick at home, I always visited him/checked up on him after work, him getting sick at the hospital, dr's would call with serious news and I had to step outside the classes while working). Idk, I just feel like it'll bring back too many sad memories and feelings of this nightmare.

So basically I am just living off his money right now. I give SO 600/month to help with rent, and I buy food and so does he. I bought myself 2 shrits today and the other day a mini-mouse raincoat for my daughter. I have been struggling for a long time now, barely affording gas and groceries beforehand (not on PA bc I "didn't qualify")  and to suddenly not struggle feels very strange and undeserved, like I robbed someone.

I know i didn't earn or deserve this money, my dad did and worked so hard all those years as a respiratory therapsit so his kids could have something in the event of his death. I feel so worthless and guilty. I've decided to apply for 4 jobs a day. I am also going to school and studying child development (just one class) and currently have an A so i can become a preschool teacher (a thing my dad encouraged me on) . I turn 30 at the end of this month so I really feel like a loser.

I actually miss being "poor and broke" bc then it means I'd have my dad. He would've always helped me out anyway if I needed.

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
meglovesie11
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Marking my spot
sexysiren1983
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:19 AM


what is that suppsoed to mean? Are you just here to make me feel worse?

Quoting meglovesie11:

Marking my spot



justpeachy71904
by peachy on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:19 AM
So go get a job. make him proud.
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:19 AM


I'm so sorry for your loss

And about the money....it won't last long especially if you don't go back to work

sexysiren1983
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:20 AM


Thats why I'm studying child development. I'm working on my associate's permit.

Quoting justpeachy71904:

So go get a job. make him proud.



sexysiren1983
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:22 AM


I just feel like the job I have is such a remidner of everything that happened. that's why I'm looking for new jobs.

Quoting Sassy762:


I'm so sorry for your loss

And about the money....it won't last long especially if you don't go back to work



OrangeBalloon
by Emerald Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:23 AM

I don't understand why you feel bad about all of this. You don't sound lazy to me, and think that taking time off to spend time with your Dad was a great idea. A lot of people do not do things like that and then they later regret it. 

Your Dad meant for that money to be used by you and for you to make the most of it. There is no reason to feel guilty about that. Since you are looking for work and thinking about school, I don't see any reason why you should feel about buying a few things for yourself and your family. Don't go crazy. LOL. But use it if you need it. 

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:24 AM

Can you make more money at a new job than you do or did at the last one that you don't want to return to???

Quoting sexysiren1983:


I just feel like the job I have is such a remidner of everything that happened. that's why I'm looking for new jobs.

Quoting Sassy762:


I'm so sorry for your loss

And about the money....it won't last long especially if you don't go back to work




Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:24 AM
115000 is nice to get but it honestly isn't a live changing amount. You are going to school, then you can go back to work. I don't understand why you feel guilty.
BeautyFull
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:25 AM
Sorry about your father. My advise is just to be wise with your money. It will not last if nothing is coming in. Hopefully you will get a job and finish school like you said.
Good luck. Kinda wish I was in your shoes.
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