• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Relitives of a crazy?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

I will keep this short as possible... My bio dad is Polygamist. Back story (as told to me by older siblings and a little from my mom) He married my moms sister, will call her AL, then attempted to get my mom and her other sister, call her AH, to marry him as well. AH was already married but her DH was in jail for not paying CS, so she felt 'trapped' with my bio dad. But AH's DH was released early and he removed his wife and children from the situation. My mom on the other hand, gave into him and had my brother and I while there. He was abusive and manipulative, he wouldn't allow my mom to go to the hospital when my brother was born, he insisted on delivering the baby himself. Thankfully nothing went wrong. He wasn't home when I was born, so my mom had to walk a mile to the hospital because she didn't have a car. I also heard a story where my older sister was misbehaving, and when my mom came to her defense he ended up chasing them both down the street shooting at them. It was somewhere around this occasion that my grandfather found out what was going on, so he came out and picked my mom and her kids up and brought us to stay with him. AL refused to leave her husband. My mom had bio dads rights to me and my brother taken away. I was 4 at this time.

Since then, I have only seen the guy once, and I knew him as uncle. My brother, his son, was diagnosed with a serious illness at a young age. My mom pleaded for shit face's help (financially) but he said no. He told her God was punishing her for leaving.

My brother went through hell from 4 to 14, we al did. We were told he was going to die. But he did get better and he is 25 now.

And now I am 24 and I have two kids and a wonderful SO and a great life. I am a happy momma and content with my life. I just wanted a little advice from you ladies on one matter...

I have been having this desire to connect with that side of my family lately. My cousins (also sisters) are on my facebook, I am sure the oldest knows the truth, she don't say anything but she was about 9 or so back then so I'm sure she remembers. But the other two are completely clueless about their dad. They adore him. As a result of them being on my facebook, I keep seeing their aunt, uncles and cousins from his side talking to them. I don't know what I want to do honestly, I don't want to start any drama. But I just feel sad when I think bout how I don't know any of them, and they all seem to be pretty decent people. and they are all right there, on my facebook... I look A LOT like one of my aunts. And the youngest sister is a spitting image of me, so everytime I see either of them I always stop to compare...

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:45 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
usmchoney
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:49 AM
Honestly I would just move on and leave it alone.
orliesmom
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 1:51 AM

I would probably want to connect as well. If its online there is really no hard in it. If you dont get a response oh well. I would avoid actually going near the man though lol based on what you said.

MelanieJK
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 2:00 AM

I think it's a can-o-worms best left unopened.       

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 2:53 AM

I know, you are probably right. I just wish i didn't get to feeling this way. It's been a long time since the last time i felt this way. Lol i even got a friends request from him about a year ago. It really made me mad but i just ignored it.


Quoting MelanieJK:

I think it's a can-o-worms best left unopened.       


Sunshine257
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 2:57 AM
I would let it go.
chickieboom
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 2:59 AM
You really need to think about what you are going to gain from this and seriously consider everything that can go wrong. If you are feeling at all vulnerable, and it sounds like you are, you could really be opening yourself up to a lot of hurt. If you already have them on fb just continue to keep in touch with them. You really need to assess your boundaries before you think about having any further relationship with any of them.
chickieboom
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 3:00 AM
If you haven't already, block him.

Quoting Anonymous:

I know, you are probably right. I just wish i didn't get to feeling this way. It's been a long time since the last time i felt this way. Lol i even got a friends request from him about a year ago. It really made me mad but i just ignored it.





Quoting MelanieJK:

I think it's a can-o-worms best left unopened.       


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 3:19 AM
I have thought a little on what could go wrong, the worse thing for me would be that the girls will be upset and delete me. I don't think the oldest one would, she has chatted with me a lot and i am fond of her. But the one thats my age and the younger one might, and i don't want them to. AL is also on my friends list, and i wonder sometimes if i could talk to her. She and my mom still talk, especially since grandma died. They just don't mention him. She didn't come to grandma's funeral though because he wasn't welcome... Idk i just feel like its all messed up and i have no choice but to stay out of it despite my involvement.


Quoting chickieboom:

You really need to think about what you are going to gain from this and seriously consider everything that can go wrong. If you are feeling at all vulnerable, and it sounds like you are, you could really be opening yourself up to a lot of hurt. If you already have them on fb just continue to keep in touch with them. You really need to assess your boundaries before you think about having any further relationship with any of them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 3:25 AM
Oh I already did.


Quoting chickieboom:

If you haven't already, block him.



Quoting Anonymous:

I know, you are probably right. I just wish i didn't get to feeling this way. It's been a long time since the last time i felt this way. Lol i even got a friends request from him about a year ago. It really made me mad but i just ignored it.








Quoting MelanieJK:

I think it's a can-o-worms best left unopened.       



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:06 AM

bump

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)