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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If you're a family with only one providing parent, you should NOT get PA

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:48 AM
  • 589 Replies
15 moms liked this

I have a former coworker who quit a great-paying job last year to stay at home with his four kids while his wife provides for the family. I just caught up with him yesterday and it turns out  they're applying for PA because apparently they can't feed their kids. I didn't say anything, because I didn't feel like he was asking my opinion and I do not, contrary to popular belief, make a habit of minding other people's business, but I think this is all shades of wrong.

I have no problem with one parent staying at home, if it works for your family and you can afford it. However, if you choose to stay at home when you could work, you don't get to complain about not being to afford your life and should NOT get PA. What you should do is go find a damn job and maybe you won't have that problem anymore. I don't pay enough to feed a small country in taxes so that people who are perfectly capable of providing for themselves could sit around with the kids they can't afford.


For the last time, no part of this post refers to single parents. Or any people who are doing all they can and still need assistance, for that matter.


ETA in regard to the specific situation: I called my friend, told him flat out and in detail what I'm working on and what I'm hoping to achieve with it, offered him the job. He didn't accept, per se, but he didn't turn it down yet. He said he would think about it.

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
krissy920
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:50 AM
20 moms liked this

staying home with your children shouldn't be an entitlement.. i can see if they have a child who needs special supervision do to a  special needs issue.. but staying home just because you want.. shouldn't be allowed on the governments dime.

Sister_Someone
by Rachel on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:55 AM
1 mom liked this


They don't have any special needs children. They're all healthy, happy and overall great kids. I would see it as justified too if they did have a disabled child. Also to keep in mind, this is not even an uneducated man who would have a hard time finding well-paying work, we're talking scientist with Ivy League PhD who could show up and say he wants a job and would most likely get one. Hell, I would hire him in a heartbeat if he said he was looking.

Quoting krissy920:

staying home with your children shouldn't be an entitlement.. i can see if they have a child who needs special supervision do to a  special needs issue.. but staying home just because you want.. shouldn't be allowed on the governments dime.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:56 AM
16 moms liked this

I get your point.  But the second job might not even make ends meet with 4 kids.  Cost of child care alone must be insane.  I''m sure they weighed their options? 

1RedHottMama
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:18 AM
5 moms liked this
I feel the same way. I am married for 12 years and have a 20 year old daughter and a 17 year old son and I have been a stay-at-home mom their entire lives. When I was six months pregnant I was put on bed rest and I have never workerd since. We have never been on PA. We have two children only because we can afford to give them everything they need and want. We are fortunate that our businesses have done well enough to afford the lifestyle we choose to live. If you truly need PA to get on your feet or because you are i'll that is more than fine by me but if it's because you have a bunch of children that you can't support your family or because you are to lazy to get a job then I find that reprehensible.
missmamaof4
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:20 AM
1 mom liked this

dont you know they are entitled to everything!!

Val99
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:25 AM
15 moms liked this

I am a bit irked by how much I pay in taxes each year also.  I pay more than many people earn and the portion that went towards entitlement programs last year was $93,000.  I have always had a good work ethic though and I always considered a parent's first responsibility to provide the basic needs for their own children:  food, clothes, shelter, and medical treatment.  If you can't do the basics, you aren't providing for their needs, and you shouldn't rely on the government unless you are in a short-term crisis.  It's unfair to make other citizens pay for your basic needs if you aren't even looking for work.


I know my opinion isn't popular on this website. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:29 AM
1 mom liked this

 So you have a job you could offer him or is this just hypothetical?

It isn't that easy getting back into the job market just because you want to and with qualifications like his he wouldn't be able to take a lesser qualified job because nobody would take him on. How do you know he didn't try to find a job as his first solution?


Quoting Sister_Someone:

 

They don't have any special needs children. They're all healthy, happy and overall great kids. I would see it as justified too if they did have a disabled child. Also to keep in mind, this is not even an uneducated man who would have a hard time finding well-paying work, we're talking scientist with Ivy League PhD who could show up and say he wants a job and would most likely get one. Hell, I would hire him in a heartbeat if he said he was looking.

Quoting krissy920:

staying home with your children shouldn't be an entitlement.. i can see if they have a child who needs special supervision do to a  special needs issue.. but staying home just because you want.. shouldn't be allowed on the governments dime.

 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:33 AM
2 moms liked this

I agree. he can work, he can work a great job so he shouldnt be allowed to get PA. he should get a job. why would he be proud of that

Val99
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:39 AM
4 moms liked this

I have a Phd and I get cold calls from companies looking to hire me, even though I'm not looking to change my career path.  If he was well-educated he should have had the basic skills required to perform the finite mathematics needed to determine if the budget would allow for only one family member to work.

Quoting Anonymous:

 So you have a job you could offer him or is this just hypothetical?

It isn't that easy getting back into the job market just because you want to and with qualifications like his he wouldn't be able to take a lesser qualified job because nobody would take him on. How do you know he didn't try to find a job as his first solution?

Quoting Sister_Someone:

They don't have any special needs children. They're all healthy, happy and overall great kids. I would see it as justified too if they did have a disabled child. Also to keep in mind, this is not even an uneducated man who would have a hard time finding well-paying work, we're talking scientist with Ivy League PhD who could show up and say he wants a job and would most likely get one. Hell, I would hire him in a heartbeat if he said he was looking.

Quoting krissy920:

staying home with your children shouldn't be an entitlement.. i can see if they have a child who needs special supervision do to a  special needs issue.. but staying home just because you want.. shouldn't be allowed on the governments dime.


summerlove3677
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:39 AM


did you tell him that?  You should. you should offer him a job

Quoting Sister_Someone:


They don't have any special needs children. They're all healthy, happy and overall great kids. I would see it as justified too if they did have a disabled child. Also to keep in mind, this is not even an uneducated man who would have a hard time finding well-paying work, we're talking scientist with Ivy League PhD who could show up and say he wants a job and would most likely get one. Hell, I would hire him in a heartbeat if he said he was looking.

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