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Dh made me feel bad for being attractive...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies

Kind of. We had a long heart to heart and if you were to see us in person we are that odd couple. I am tall and slender with a very nice figure. He is shorter than I am and a bit heavy. He basically told me that I look like I did when we first met 6 years ago except 10lbs heavier, and that he hates that so many men are attracted to me. In a sense that men are always hitting on me or staring. He told me that he doesn't know why I am with him because I can do better and that he hates the fact that he has gained 35lbs since we first met, mind you he is just solid, no rolls or anything like that, stocky like a football player which I absolutley love, I have never liked slender men. I have been trying to figure out different ways to tell him that I am attracted to him and that I love him dearly, in my eyes he is very sexy. Women come on to him don't get me wrong. He wants to lose weight, I love him just the way he is, but no matter if he wanted to stay his size or lose weight I would support him. I am lost as to what to say. He basically told me in the end that I am so beautiful but it bothers him because I am.

To clear a few things up....

yes I have my insecurities as well. 

no I will not post a pic

No I never had a clue because from day well not day one because when we first met we hated each other... long story, but since we started  getting along I have found him very attractive

NO I AM NOT A TROLL

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
la-cosa-nostra
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:08 AM

just continue to reinforce how much you love him and how sexy you think he is. 

julainepw
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:10 AM
Just do what you can to build up his self esteem. He seems insecure. keep reassuring him and hopefully it will get better.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:12 AM


Quoting julainepw:

Just do what you can to build up his self esteem. He seems insecure. keep reassuring him and hopefully it will get better.

I am going to try, he wants to work out, thinking about getting him a memebership to a boxing gym but at this point I feel like I may offend him by doing so

pinkfairy0206
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:13 AM
My husband is the same way. He says I don't look like I've had 4 kids,and he doesn't understand why I'm with him. Ugg:( its not as bad as a few years ago,his low self esteem. But he will still out of no where say something.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:16 AM


Quoting pinkfairy0206:

My husband is the same way. He says I don't look like I've had 4 kids,and he doesn't understand why I'm with him. Ugg:( its not as bad as a few years ago,his low self esteem. But he will still out of no where say something.

No offfense but I am so glad that I am not alone. What do you say or do when he does that? I never knew that he felt that way until our conversation. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:17 AM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you married a woman.

Most guys...no matter what they look like..... think they have the right to have a supermodel on their arm.

Has he had his testosterone levels checked?  For real.


(edit: coming back to apologize for sounding snarky.  I am in a crappy mood and I should not take it out on you.  But I do think it is odd to hear a guy express those views...because it does seem to me that most guys...even the fat bald guys..think they should have a super model.  Even media reinforces it.  How many tv shows are there with a fat dumpy guy and a cute little wife?  Tons.)

BannerElkHogans
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I'm tall an skinny an my husband is shorter an stocky........an he calls me his Amazon........ha ha ha

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Sounds like you married a woman.

Most guys...no matter what they look like..... think they have the right to have a supermodel on their arm.

Has he had his testosterone levels checked?  For real.

lol no. Thats whats weird he is the manliest man I have ever met. He is not emotional at all but some things happened in our marriage that made us talk about what was truly on our minds. I have had this issue before with ex's but none of them were my dh. All Very handsome men but very over protective of me because of my looks. I was blindsided by this though. 

pinkfairy0206
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM
I tell him I've been with you over 12 years have 4 kids with u,I love u for u. You should know this by now! And sometimes I'll tell him to shut up! Lol. Like I said it was so bad at one point,it seemed everyday he was saying something about other men looking at me. We could be in the store and would say"if that guy looks at u again,I'm gonna deck him"ooookkk lol. Now,not its as bad as that.


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting pinkfairy0206:

My husband is the same way. He says I don't look like I've had 4 kids,and he doesn't understand why I'm with him. Ugg:( its not as bad as a few years ago,his low self esteem. But he will still out of no where say something.

No offfense but I am so glad that I am not alone. What do you say or do when he does that? I never knew that he felt that way until our conversation. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:22 AM


Quoting BannerElkHogans:

I'm tall an skinny an my husband is shorter an stocky........an he calls me his Amazon........ha ha ha

lol. 

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