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Possibly special needs? Need help - I'm at a loss *Very long*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Sil has twin boys who will be 4 in Dec, in addition to 3 older kids (I think the oldest is maybe 12). To me they seem a little behind as far as talking and general skills. My ideas may be skewed though as my 2 year old can sing her abc's without missing a letter and can count to ten on her own and my 4 year old has been able to do this since she was 2 also. The boys can get some letters right and some numbers but not very well. The one I'm watching tends to keep repeating a phrase until you answer him

Since I work at night when hubby gets home I've always told her that between the two of us, we can babysit anytime she needs. Normally this has just been on the weekends so it has been just my husband that has watched them since I am usually working when they are here. Last week she calls me and asks me if I can watch "A" for the time being because it just isn't working at daycare. "B" is doing fine at this daycare, but last week A started showing behaviors that just weren't normal. Both boys are potty trained with an occaisonal accident, but as soon as they get to daycare, the provider puts a pull/diaper on A. They get dropped off around 5am and had been going back to sleep but last week A started screaming and running after sil when she tried to leave.

Last Thursday I had him from 5am-3pm and the only issue I had was an accident which I had expected since he was used to being in a pullup at daycare. I didn't say anything, just took him to the bathroom and got him changed - no big deal. We spent 2 hours doing some crafts; we made a turtle, giraffe, and a lady bug out of construction paper and glue sticks. I had no issues with him, unless you'd count that he ate his breakfast too fast that it put my girls to shame lol.

Yesterday I had him from 11-4. He again had an accident which we got cleaned up, no big deal. We didn't get around to crafts since my girls needed a nap so he sat on the couch with me and watched about 45 min worth of tv- and he sat the whole time. The only thing I noticed is when he first got dropped off he was having a very difficult time focusing when I tried to tell him something. I had to get him to look at me and repeat it a few times before he got it.

I have him again today 11-3. So far no accidents. He ate well and didn't even want to finish his cookie  which was a big treat for him(I'll get to the sugar thing a little later). We went for an 8 block walk (him and my 4 year old walked and I pushed my 2 year old in the stroller). I made the rule that the two walking had to keep a hand on the stroller the whole time which he did no problem. I laid all 3 down for a nap when we got back. He's at a good hour right now and still sleeping  - my kids have yet to fall asleep, even though I know they are tired.

So basically, this kid is a great, mellow kid for me. I mean, he will run around the house, but so do my kids and it's just like I remember doing when I was younger - normal kids running around playing. 

BUT.....

At home and daycare he is completely different. He seems very hyperactive and sil has said she has a really hard time getting him to sleep at all, even at night. He's always getting into trouble. The other night he hid behind the tv and they couldn't find him and thought something had happened. After looking for quite awhile they ended up calling the sheriff thinking he had run outside or something, but he was just behind the tv. SIL asked me yesterday if I think he needs to be medicated. I told her no because he is perfectly fine when he is here with me (and I don't like to jump to medicating if there is anything else that can be done). They did try gluten free and sugar free with no luck, although keeping sugar intake down seems to help a little. I try to keep sugar to an absolute minimum when he is here and I try to keep him engaged with something all the time. Even when I go make lunch, he plays in the toyroom with my girls just fine. She has him lined up to go to a daycare starting in September that has special needs training, and while I know this daycare and she is awesome (my cousin's kids go there and I've had my oldest there a few times), I don't think he'll do well since the daycare will be full and there will be like 10 kids there (same as the one he was just at). I have told her I will gladly keep him, but she is worried he will be too much once my baby comes (I'm due in Dec). Personally I don't have any problems with him and am trying to get her to see that. I think it's so hard to believe he is a completely different kid when he's here.

I really have no experience with any sort of special needs kids so I'm really at a loss here.


So here's my questions - sorry this is so long:

1) Any ideas on how I can help him learn more? There are just too many websites, I would spend all my time searching and no time actually doing anything with him.

2) Any ideas on how to control his behaviors at home more?

3) Am I right in thinking that a daycare is just too much for him - he needs the smaller, more intimate atmosphere?

4) Any other tips other than just medicating him? Are there any groups on here that could help me help him and her?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 3:50 PM
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Mommy2b2many
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Honestly; what I always suggest is going to the pediatrician and asking for a referral to get an evaluation. The pediatricaian should also be able to refer you to groups in the area for special needs.

Also; he sounds like he needs a strict schedule with a lot of positive reinforcement. Some day cares just don't work with some kids. It may be that there are too many kids at daycare, and it maybe that at home parents aren't firm enough. Good luck!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I'm hoping to figure out a way to help him. I personally think he just needs more small group attention that he is getting here.

Quoting Mommy2b2many:

Honestly; what I always suggest is going to the pediatrician and asking for a referral to get an evaluation. The pediatricaian should also be able to refer you to groups in the area for special needs.



Also; he sounds like he needs a strict schedule with a lot of positive reinforcement. Some day cares just don't work with some kids. It may be that there are too many kids at daycare, and it maybe that at home parents aren't firm enough. Good luck!
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