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Ugh! I'm always giving in... EDIT: read before you reply

Posted by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:25 PM
  • 15 Replies

Daughters 10th bday is Friday. Daughter is having a friend spend the night.

original plan was for me and the girls to go to ex's moms house to eat pizza, swim in subdivision pool and eat cupcakes. Ex would be there also. And a couple of daughters friends from around grandmas house. 

Well ex and I can't get along right now.

so I ended up telling his mom that I would just drop the girls off over there, but I will not be staying because her son and I do not need to be around each other. She understands and is ok with it. Her son is on her shit list right now too. So she understand why he and I shouldn't be around each other.

 I have no money to do anything else, this plan is what I came up with for daughters bday! Now I won't even be there! 

Im crying as I write this. Daughter might feel like I did nothing for her for her bday since I am opting to not be at her party at grandmas. The party that I planned. 

Daughter needs to see her dad. Last time she saw him was when I called the cops on him. She knows he lives in a hotel now. So she needs to see him to know he is ok. This is the only way for her to see him. He can't see her unsupervised. So I have to bow out of her party so she can see her dad. 

Im so sad. 

********

edit: I don't like bashing ex or airing his dirty laundry, but I guess I need to explain things as to why we can't be around each other right now.  A week ago I had to call cops on him because he was drunk and wouldn't leave my house. He got spare key in garage and was trying to get in. I texted his mom to let her know that I was calling cops, that she could come get him if she wanted. Either he called her or she called him, not sure, but she is fed up with his shit too and let the cops remove him and she also refused to let him go to her house! He has been staying in a hotel. She is done with his shit too and kicked him out of her house! 

Ex can not comprehend that we aren't getting back together. As in obsessed with this. I do not need to be around him to encourage this crazy behavior! 

Father's Day daughter was visiting her dad, who lived with his mom at the time. He got drunk. Got in huge blow up with his mom and stepdad Infront of our daughter. His mom was texting me to come get her as soon as it started but it takes me 20 min. To get there. Ex ends up taking off in his truck drunk... He doesn't even have a drivers license! Ex ends up getting arrested and getting yet another dwi? His mom bailed him out and took ex back to her house. 

He apparently had vodka hidden in his room. Continued to drink. Kept calling and facetimingmwith me asking me which did I want: to listen to him kill himself over the phone or watch on FaceTime. Tells and shows me he has a gun! I text his mom to let her know. I see her on FaceTime go into his room and get the gun. She texts me to let me know cops are on the way. Ex gets taken to ER on suicide watch. Blood alcohol level was 3.4 (yes THREE point FOUR). 

Yet I still do what I think is the right thing to do FOR OUR KIDS! I pick ex up from psych unit the day before our army son arrives home for his visit. And let ex stay here for those two weeks that our son is here.  SO FOR THOSE WHO SAY I CAN'T GET OVER MYSELF, MY FEELINGS AND PUT MY KIDS FIRST THERE YA GO! YES I DO AND DO IT OFTEN! Ex knows the rules! NO DRINKING AT MY HOUSE OR HIS MOMS, yet he continues to do so! He drank at my house during sons visit! After son left ex was still here for a couple days trying to figure out where he was going to go, his mom said he wasn't allowed to go back to her house. EX DRANK AGAIN AT MY HOUSE, it was then that I told him he had to leave. He refused. I locked him out and he in his drunk state acting like a crazy person determined to get into my house. I had to call cops. I was scared, daughter was scared. Daughter and I haven't seen him since. Yet he keeps texting me about us getting back together. 

So there ya go! NO IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA FOR EX AND I TO BE AT THE SAME PLACE RIGHT NOW, His mom doesn't even want him at her house for daughters party but is allowing it so daughter can see her dad. I refuse to drop her off with him at hotel unsupervised. 

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
2Sparrows4ever
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:27 PM
I am sorry :(

Happy Birthday to your DD
2Sparrows4ever
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Is there no other solution? Maybe he can just visit for a little bit? Maybe, just maybe y'all can get along for one night? For the sake of your daughter? Situations like these make feel so badly for the kids
bcauseimthemom
by imjenndoe on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:29 PM
2 moms liked this

You are sad??  I don't want to sound harsh but there is no way that you and your ex can put your differences aside for a few hours so you can both be there for your CHILD's party?? You know, that little person that you both created... the one that all this is about??? Not petty shit between her parents??

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 4:32 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm sorry.

Have to say though, you should NOT stay away. Put aside your differences for one day and be there for your daughter's bday. 

ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM


Quoting 2Sparrows4ever:

Is there no other solution? Maybe he can just visit for a little bit? Maybe, just maybe y'all can get along for one night? For the sake of your daughter? Situations like these make feel so badly for the kids

I had to call the cops on him a week ago. And he still can't get it in his head that we aren't getting back together. He is consumed by it. 

Daughter has already said she was nervous about us both being there. Afraid we would fight and cops would be called.

i don't want her stressed. I will back out for her sake. 

PookiePanda
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:44 PM

TL;DR but I want your socks.

ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:48 PM


Quoting bcauseimthemom:

You are sad??  I don't want to sound harsh but there is no way that you and your ex can put your differences aside for a few hours so you can both be there for your CHILD's party?? You know, that little person that you both created... the one that all this is about??? Not petty shit between her parents??

We have done that many times, for our kids. But since I had to call the cops on him last week daughter stated she is nervous about two of us being at same place. Afraid we will fight and cops be called. Therefore I will back out of the party so she is t nervous. 

I am being unselfish about this! His mom is even nervous about him being there as she is very upset with his recent choices! I could easily say I don't think he should be there and his mom would say ok! 

I think daughter needs to see her dad to know that he is ok. I am putting her needs above my own! 

ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:50 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm sorry.

Have to say though, you should NOT stay away. Put aside your differences for one day and be there for your daughter's bday. 

Read my other replies. This is what's best for daughters sake! SHE has said she is nervous about two of us being at same place. I think she needs to see her dad to know he is ok because of what has been going on. So I am backing out so she isn't nervous and so she can see her dad. 

lenashark
by Emerald Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Brutal truth, I think you guys need to suck it up and act like adults. Go to your daughters birthday party, show her that she is more important than a fight. You not getting along with her dad shouldn't impact her birthday. It takes two to fight. Go to the party, if he says anything that upsets you, don't say a word. Get up and walk away. Focus on your child. 

MAXnBRYCESMomma
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Me and my ex dont always get along, but for something where we are around the kids together, we put on our adult underwear, and get along. Put your differences aside for your daughter.




~Annie~


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