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Something happened... **EDIT #4 FINAL Post and replies contain cussing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is three and goes to preschool.  It's on the small side and seems to be family centered even though it's a center and not an inhome daycare.  Yesterday when I arrived to pick up my daughter, I went downstairs to her classroom.  As I'm going down the stairs I can't hear what is being said but it sounds as if someone is crying.  I figure it's one of the kids.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and find my daughter's teacher on phone and she's crying on the landline phone saying, "Well when do you think you'll be home?"  When she sees me she immediately hangs up and wipes the tears from her eyes.  But, it's too late.  She's been this upset in the middle of the classroom in front of the kids.  My daughter says, "Ms. T is crying mom....Why is she sad?"  At the time, I gave the teacher a hug and asked if there was anything I could do.  She said she was having boyfriend troubles but that he's really a great guy.  As I took my daughter and went to exit the building I saw one of the more senior staff members and I mentioned to her that Ms T was downstairs in tears over a phone conversation she had just had with her boyfriend.  She told me I should talk to the director.  I went and spoke with the director and by the time I got to the car with my daughter, my daughter's teacher had been sent outside to supervise the younger children on the playground.

This happened yesterday and the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It was a significant enough event that an hour and a half later, it was the first thing my daughter told my husband (her dad) after greeting him when he got home from work even though I didn't mention it between the time it happened and he arrived home.  I want to send the director an email to the effect that in my opinion what happened should have never happened and that it is unprofessional for the teacher to have a personal phone call when she is supposed to be working.  At the least, it was unprofessional for her to be that upset in front of the kids.  She could have gone into the restroom long enough to wrap it up and dry her eyes---The restroom is right in the same room.  The children had no idea what was going on and were so worried about their teacher and I felt badly for them.  If I had another option to be honest, I would probably pull my daughter out.  What would you do?

EDIT:  I have cried at work.  I have had bad days.  BUT, I don't work with children and I keep my personal life out of my work.

EDIT #2  I have been a teacher.  I've also been a teacher with boyfriend problems but none of my students ever knew it because it had nothing to do with them.  From 7-3, my students had my complete attention.  I've cried in front of my older students.  I had 4 kids in my classroom grades, 3,4,7, and 8 when the 9/11 attack happened.  

Also, why do SOME of you think I didn't treat the moment as a teachable moment?  I showed all those kids about compassion by comforting the teacher with a hug and asking her if there was anything I could do.  Of course I talked privately about the situation with my daughter when we got home and I explained that people sometimes make other people cry.  But sometimes people make eachother laugh too.  Her dad also talked to her when he got home and told her to be sure to give her teacher a hug this morning. 

I thought about removing my child from school because the situation didn't happen because the teacher got word of an accident, illness, or death.  It was an argument with her boyfriend.  She was arguing with her boyfriend in front of the kids and she was in tears and the second she saw me, she got off the phone.She knew she shouldn't be on the phone or else she wouldn't have hung up so abruptly. 

EDIT #3  I did not rat the teacher out.  Had I known the director was in the building I would have gone straight to the director but I first saw another teacher.  I told the teacher about what was going on because that teacher didn't have any students and was just cleaning.  I thought maybe the teacher could go down and check on the crying teacher.  It was only after I told the teacher about the crying teacher that I found out the director was in the building and I was told to go talk to her. 


I will not be responding to or editing this post any more.  I get it...I'm a bitch.  I'm two-faced.  I'm a back stabber.  I lack compassion  I'm a busy body/I'm nosy.  I went overboard.  I hold the woman to too high of a standard.  The girl needs a break. 

As a society we have been conditioned to mind our own business and look the other way.  The problem is that when we do that, bad things happen to good people.

 I don't believe I was wrong for alerting the woman's coworkers that she was involved in an emotionally charged situation.  You will never convince me otherwise.

Thank you all for your feedback and a special thank you to those of you who managed to answer my question about what you would have done in the situation and not turn it into a personal attack on me.  Hugs!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, unless this is something that has happened before, I would let it go. We all get phone calls in the middle of the day that we dread - bad news, fighting with a loved one, etc. Who knows what is going on in this woman's life. Maybe she was just having a really bad day.

I would definitely be asking my daughter more about it as the week goes on, but pulling the child out seems a bit rash, IMO.

by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think its that big of a deal unless its all the time. We are human we have emotions. SOmetimes we all have bad days. I think you are picking at something when this lady obviously has alot going. Unless she put kids in harms way I don' think you should send an email.

by Emerald Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:09 PM
1 mom liked this
Child care directors do not simply turn off emotions because they are at work. She is a person and people have feelings.
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by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:09 PM

I agree with you. The teacher is there to do a job and no one in almost any job could just stop what they do and cry on the phone to their boyfriend. Who knows what was even said before you got there? Maybe she was fighting with him. This was very inappropriate of her.

by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:11 PM

I agree with most of the comments.  If this is a one time thing, then let it go. I would ask the director to make sure that the teachers are focused on the kids and not personal calls.  We know life happens. It can be messy.  I love the idea of using this as learning lesson for the child.  Of course she told her dad about it - she is 3, what else exciting or new happens in her life.   Also, it is good she was concerned about the teacher.  It shows she likes her and is connected to her.   Instead of creating a big fuss, why not let your girl make the teacher a sweet or funny card or pick some wildflowers for her to make her feel better.     

by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:11 PM
2 moms liked this
Oh dear the children will have PTSD from this.
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by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:11 PM
First off, your daughter is 3 she's going to remember things that are out of the ordinary. I know this for a fact because I have a 3 year old that does the exact same thing. She talked about a table she saw in the garage once, three weeks ago, for like 2 minutes. I would blow it off, but if it happens again MAYBE bring it up to the director. We all have bad days, give the girl a break.
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:12 PM
5 moms liked this
Oh shit! Your daughter witnessed an adult having an uncomfortable emotion. Pull her out immediately. We can't have her thinking teachers are human! The horror. I'm shaking I'm so upset.
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:13 PM

I'd rather the teacher tear up in class than leave a bunch of 3 year olds alone to cry in the bathroom

by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Good lord. She had a bad day.... calm down tonto before you break a hip
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