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Something happened... **EDIT #4 FINAL Post and replies contain cussing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is three and goes to preschool.  It's on the small side and seems to be family centered even though it's a center and not an inhome daycare.  Yesterday when I arrived to pick up my daughter, I went downstairs to her classroom.  As I'm going down the stairs I can't hear what is being said but it sounds as if someone is crying.  I figure it's one of the kids.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and find my daughter's teacher on phone and she's crying on the landline phone saying, "Well when do you think you'll be home?"  When she sees me she immediately hangs up and wipes the tears from her eyes.  But, it's too late.  She's been this upset in the middle of the classroom in front of the kids.  My daughter says, "Ms. T is crying mom....Why is she sad?"  At the time, I gave the teacher a hug and asked if there was anything I could do.  She said she was having boyfriend troubles but that he's really a great guy.  As I took my daughter and went to exit the building I saw one of the more senior staff members and I mentioned to her that Ms T was downstairs in tears over a phone conversation she had just had with her boyfriend.  She told me I should talk to the director.  I went and spoke with the director and by the time I got to the car with my daughter, my daughter's teacher had been sent outside to supervise the younger children on the playground.

This happened yesterday and the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It was a significant enough event that an hour and a half later, it was the first thing my daughter told my husband (her dad) after greeting him when he got home from work even though I didn't mention it between the time it happened and he arrived home.  I want to send the director an email to the effect that in my opinion what happened should have never happened and that it is unprofessional for the teacher to have a personal phone call when she is supposed to be working.  At the least, it was unprofessional for her to be that upset in front of the kids.  She could have gone into the restroom long enough to wrap it up and dry her eyes---The restroom is right in the same room.  The children had no idea what was going on and were so worried about their teacher and I felt badly for them.  If I had another option to be honest, I would probably pull my daughter out.  What would you do?

EDIT:  I have cried at work.  I have had bad days.  BUT, I don't work with children and I keep my personal life out of my work.

EDIT #2  I have been a teacher.  I've also been a teacher with boyfriend problems but none of my students ever knew it because it had nothing to do with them.  From 7-3, my students had my complete attention.  I've cried in front of my older students.  I had 4 kids in my classroom grades, 3,4,7, and 8 when the 9/11 attack happened.  

Also, why do SOME of you think I didn't treat the moment as a teachable moment?  I showed all those kids about compassion by comforting the teacher with a hug and asking her if there was anything I could do.  Of course I talked privately about the situation with my daughter when we got home and I explained that people sometimes make other people cry.  But sometimes people make eachother laugh too.  Her dad also talked to her when he got home and told her to be sure to give her teacher a hug this morning. 

I thought about removing my child from school because the situation didn't happen because the teacher got word of an accident, illness, or death.  It was an argument with her boyfriend.  She was arguing with her boyfriend in front of the kids and she was in tears and the second she saw me, she got off the phone.She knew she shouldn't be on the phone or else she wouldn't have hung up so abruptly. 

EDIT #3  I did not rat the teacher out.  Had I known the director was in the building I would have gone straight to the director but I first saw another teacher.  I told the teacher about what was going on because that teacher didn't have any students and was just cleaning.  I thought maybe the teacher could go down and check on the crying teacher.  It was only after I told the teacher about the crying teacher that I found out the director was in the building and I was told to go talk to her. 


I will not be responding to or editing this post any more.  I get it...I'm a bitch.  I'm two-faced.  I'm a back stabber.  I lack compassion  I'm a busy body/I'm nosy.  I went overboard.  I hold the woman to too high of a standard.  The girl needs a break. 

As a society we have been conditioned to mind our own business and look the other way.  The problem is that when we do that, bad things happen to good people.

 I don't believe I was wrong for alerting the woman's coworkers that she was involved in an emotionally charged situation.  You will never convince me otherwise.

Thank you all for your feedback and a special thank you to those of you who managed to answer my question about what you would have done in the situation and not turn it into a personal attack on me.  Hugs!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Replies (131-137):
by Platinum Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 5:23 PM

Don't kick her when she's down. 

by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Quoting Acid:

OF COURSE you've been a teacher....after you didn't get the responses you wanted.

Isnt it funny how the stories always become more elaborate and detailed AFTER OP'S Dont win over their went from just "boyfriend troubles" to them having a personal and her being experienced in this field
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:37 PM

We get it; we'll never convince you to get a life and mind your own business.

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

I would have done the same thing you did its not ok for a teacher to get all emotional over her boyfriend around all the kids its just not

by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:30 PM

Because you were VERY specific in your post that you did not hear the conversation. You were also specific in the fact that she simply told you she was having boyfriend troubles. The only reason you say this now is because you realize you were overreacting, and you didn't know the situation as well as you thought you did.

Instead of admitting you could have over reacted you choose to backtrack. 

Quoting Anonymous:

And just because I summarized the issue as her having boyfriend troubles doesn't mean she didn't tell me anything else. Why didn't anyone tell me if I wanted to talk about a situation I should include a transcript or a video? Oh we'll now I know. Have a great night.

Quoting Kristanna:

P.s. just because someone says their having boyfriend troubles doesn't mean they were fighting either. For all you know he's in the military stationed somewhere and she found out him coming home was delayed and that's why she was crying and that's why she asked when he thinks he'll be home. 

by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:38 PM

Sorry, I would have told the director too. Sorry that's an unpopular feeling on here. But I'm paying you to watch my kid, not talk on the phone about your problems, especially in front of my kids. The least she could have done and what I have done when upset at work is excuse myself and go to my car or the bathroom or go home. I don't want people all up in my business anyway.

There was a lady I worked with for 3 years and at least once a week she had MAJOR drama and would be upset for a day or two with one or more of her kids or exs. She was the supervisor and it affected everyone's work ethic and being able to just function. It's not that hard to excuse yourself. It's just not. And if your life is so out of control then maybe you need to take some time off work and get your shit together.

Op, I would definitely have told the director too. I'm really surprised when so many women get upset over someone just looking at their kid wrong or saying something to them in public that they think it's ok for a teacher/care giver to be this upset/unhinged in front of the kids. Not appropriate imo.

by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 1:46 PM
Apparently people can't be emotional around children in your world. We're all human. That fact that you think bad things will happen because your preschooler's teacher was crying is laughable.
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