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Something happened... **EDIT #4 FINAL Post and replies contain cussing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is three and goes to preschool.  It's on the small side and seems to be family centered even though it's a center and not an inhome daycare.  Yesterday when I arrived to pick up my daughter, I went downstairs to her classroom.  As I'm going down the stairs I can't hear what is being said but it sounds as if someone is crying.  I figure it's one of the kids.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and find my daughter's teacher on phone and she's crying on the landline phone saying, "Well when do you think you'll be home?"  When she sees me she immediately hangs up and wipes the tears from her eyes.  But, it's too late.  She's been this upset in the middle of the classroom in front of the kids.  My daughter says, "Ms. T is crying mom....Why is she sad?"  At the time, I gave the teacher a hug and asked if there was anything I could do.  She said she was having boyfriend troubles but that he's really a great guy.  As I took my daughter and went to exit the building I saw one of the more senior staff members and I mentioned to her that Ms T was downstairs in tears over a phone conversation she had just had with her boyfriend.  She told me I should talk to the director.  I went and spoke with the director and by the time I got to the car with my daughter, my daughter's teacher had been sent outside to supervise the younger children on the playground.

This happened yesterday and the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It was a significant enough event that an hour and a half later, it was the first thing my daughter told my husband (her dad) after greeting him when he got home from work even though I didn't mention it between the time it happened and he arrived home.  I want to send the director an email to the effect that in my opinion what happened should have never happened and that it is unprofessional for the teacher to have a personal phone call when she is supposed to be working.  At the least, it was unprofessional for her to be that upset in front of the kids.  She could have gone into the restroom long enough to wrap it up and dry her eyes---The restroom is right in the same room.  The children had no idea what was going on and were so worried about their teacher and I felt badly for them.  If I had another option to be honest, I would probably pull my daughter out.  What would you do?

EDIT:  I have cried at work.  I have had bad days.  BUT, I don't work with children and I keep my personal life out of my work.

EDIT #2  I have been a teacher.  I've also been a teacher with boyfriend problems but none of my students ever knew it because it had nothing to do with them.  From 7-3, my students had my complete attention.  I've cried in front of my older students.  I had 4 kids in my classroom grades, 3,4,7, and 8 when the 9/11 attack happened.  

Also, why do SOME of you think I didn't treat the moment as a teachable moment?  I showed all those kids about compassion by comforting the teacher with a hug and asking her if there was anything I could do.  Of course I talked privately about the situation with my daughter when we got home and I explained that people sometimes make other people cry.  But sometimes people make eachother laugh too.  Her dad also talked to her when he got home and told her to be sure to give her teacher a hug this morning. 

I thought about removing my child from school because the situation didn't happen because the teacher got word of an accident, illness, or death.  It was an argument with her boyfriend.  She was arguing with her boyfriend in front of the kids and she was in tears and the second she saw me, she got off the phone.She knew she shouldn't be on the phone or else she wouldn't have hung up so abruptly. 

EDIT #3  I did not rat the teacher out.  Had I known the director was in the building I would have gone straight to the director but I first saw another teacher.  I told the teacher about what was going on because that teacher didn't have any students and was just cleaning.  I thought maybe the teacher could go down and check on the crying teacher.  It was only after I told the teacher about the crying teacher that I found out the director was in the building and I was told to go talk to her. 


I will not be responding to or editing this post any more.  I get it...I'm a bitch.  I'm two-faced.  I'm a back stabber.  I lack compassion  I'm a busy body/I'm nosy.  I went overboard.  I hold the woman to too high of a standard.  The girl needs a break. 

As a society we have been conditioned to mind our own business and look the other way.  The problem is that when we do that, bad things happen to good people.

 I don't believe I was wrong for alerting the woman's coworkers that she was involved in an emotionally charged situation.  You will never convince me otherwise.

Thank you all for your feedback and a special thank you to those of you who managed to answer my question about what you would have done in the situation and not turn it into a personal attack on me.  Hugs!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:13 PM
2 moms liked this
You are freaking 2 faced. First you go and hug her then to tattle tale on her. What gives? You should be more compassionate.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:14 PM

 I didn't think about the fact that my daughter probably would have told me if this had happened before because what I was thinking about was all those little worried faces and my daughter's own concern for her teacher and the fact that my daughter was looking to me to help her teacher feel bettter. 

Maybe one day you'll have something happen with your child that troubles you and you'll share it here and I hope that you will be told to "step off your high horse".

Quoting Kristanna:

Oh step off your high horse. You can't be serious? 

From what you say this is a one time event, driven home by the fact that it "affected your child" so much that she mentioned it to her dad 1st thing. So if it had happened before you obviously would of heard about it.

You already told two of the higher ups, let them take care of the issue now. 

If it happens again, then further express your concern and displeasure. But for now you coming across as a loon. 


by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:15 PM
1 mom liked this

pulling your dd out is a pretty big over reaction. 

treatit as a teaching moment. teach your daughter some compassion for others, let her know we all get upset sometimes, and tell her to offer the teacher a hug and a kind word. maybe you will learn to do it too. geez - kick the lady while she's down why don't you. 

people get sad in real life - there is nothing wrong with kids experiencing that. 

Should she have taken the call? maybe not, but you don't know how it happened - and she's only a human being after all. she could have gotten what she expected to be a routine phine call and got knocked off her feet.  have a heart - keep this up and you'll see the poor thing fired over this.  

by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:16 PM
3 moms liked this
You sound uptight. What a petty thing to complain about. Don't like it, find a different preschool.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:17 PM


Quoting yayay15:

She was crying? I mean sure, she probably shouldn't be on the phone in the middle of teaching young children but she wasn't harming anyone. It's okay for a child to see Someone crying.

If she was yelling and cussing that would be a different story.

by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:18 PM

 People are human. Its obviously not something that's happened before since you said that your daughter was worried enough to mention it later on. She probably would have mentioned it before. I think you're over reacting slightly. If this is an isolated incident then Id let it go.  The only thing that I see her having done wrong is making a personal call during work hours. But getting upset... as I said we're all human. As parents Im sure we've all gotten upset in front of our kids.. there ARE times when it just happens.

by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow.  That was a really really bitchy thing to do.  Come on!

by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:19 PM

As long as it was a one time occurance, I wouldn't worry about it and let it go. Sometimes these things happen. I certainly wouldn't go so far as to pull my child out her class! That is a little bit of an over-reaction right there...

by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:20 PM

So. Teachers are robots and not allowed to have feelings?   Try using it as a life lesson for your daughter and let her know EVERYbody gets sad sometimes.  Apparently it's not something you have ever learned though. 

by Rachel on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:21 PM

I'll take it you've never had a really shit day. ;-)

Seriously though, if it's a one-time thing, just let it go. We're all humans, we all have bad days and it could happen to anyone. Besides, you don't know what's going on in that woman's life, but let me tell you, it's nothing good if she can't keep herself from crying in public over it. Sometimes you can't help it even if you really want to not cry.

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