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Something happened... **EDIT #4 FINAL Post and replies contain cussing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My daughter is three and goes to preschool.  It's on the small side and seems to be family centered even though it's a center and not an inhome daycare.  Yesterday when I arrived to pick up my daughter, I went downstairs to her classroom.  As I'm going down the stairs I can't hear what is being said but it sounds as if someone is crying.  I figure it's one of the kids.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and find my daughter's teacher on phone and she's crying on the landline phone saying, "Well when do you think you'll be home?"  When she sees me she immediately hangs up and wipes the tears from her eyes.  But, it's too late.  She's been this upset in the middle of the classroom in front of the kids.  My daughter says, "Ms. T is crying mom....Why is she sad?"  At the time, I gave the teacher a hug and asked if there was anything I could do.  She said she was having boyfriend troubles but that he's really a great guy.  As I took my daughter and went to exit the building I saw one of the more senior staff members and I mentioned to her that Ms T was downstairs in tears over a phone conversation she had just had with her boyfriend.  She told me I should talk to the director.  I went and spoke with the director and by the time I got to the car with my daughter, my daughter's teacher had been sent outside to supervise the younger children on the playground.

This happened yesterday and the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It was a significant enough event that an hour and a half later, it was the first thing my daughter told my husband (her dad) after greeting him when he got home from work even though I didn't mention it between the time it happened and he arrived home.  I want to send the director an email to the effect that in my opinion what happened should have never happened and that it is unprofessional for the teacher to have a personal phone call when she is supposed to be working.  At the least, it was unprofessional for her to be that upset in front of the kids.  She could have gone into the restroom long enough to wrap it up and dry her eyes---The restroom is right in the same room.  The children had no idea what was going on and were so worried about their teacher and I felt badly for them.  If I had another option to be honest, I would probably pull my daughter out.  What would you do?

EDIT:  I have cried at work.  I have had bad days.  BUT, I don't work with children and I keep my personal life out of my work.

EDIT #2  I have been a teacher.  I've also been a teacher with boyfriend problems but none of my students ever knew it because it had nothing to do with them.  From 7-3, my students had my complete attention.  I've cried in front of my older students.  I had 4 kids in my classroom grades, 3,4,7, and 8 when the 9/11 attack happened.  

Also, why do SOME of you think I didn't treat the moment as a teachable moment?  I showed all those kids about compassion by comforting the teacher with a hug and asking her if there was anything I could do.  Of course I talked privately about the situation with my daughter when we got home and I explained that people sometimes make other people cry.  But sometimes people make eachother laugh too.  Her dad also talked to her when he got home and told her to be sure to give her teacher a hug this morning. 

I thought about removing my child from school because the situation didn't happen because the teacher got word of an accident, illness, or death.  It was an argument with her boyfriend.  She was arguing with her boyfriend in front of the kids and she was in tears and the second she saw me, she got off the phone.She knew she shouldn't be on the phone or else she wouldn't have hung up so abruptly. 

EDIT #3  I did not rat the teacher out.  Had I known the director was in the building I would have gone straight to the director but I first saw another teacher.  I told the teacher about what was going on because that teacher didn't have any students and was just cleaning.  I thought maybe the teacher could go down and check on the crying teacher.  It was only after I told the teacher about the crying teacher that I found out the director was in the building and I was told to go talk to her. 

 FINAL EDIT #4

I will not be responding to or editing this post any more.  I get it...I'm a bitch.  I'm two-faced.  I'm a back stabber.  I lack compassion  I'm a busy body/I'm nosy.  I went overboard.  I hold the woman to too high of a standard.  The girl needs a break. 

As a society we have been conditioned to mind our own business and look the other way.  The problem is that when we do that, bad things happen to good people.

 I don't believe I was wrong for alerting the woman's coworkers that she was involved in an emotionally charged situation.  You will never convince me otherwise.

Thank you all for your feedback and a special thank you to those of you who managed to answer my question about what you would have done in the situation and not turn it into a personal attack on me.  Hugs!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Really? Everyone has bad days, you could possibly get her fired for that. It's not like its happening everyday when you go to pick her up. Hope you can live with yourself if she gets fired...getting huffy over someone having a bad day sounds petty. Get over it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:29 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think that you should pull your kid lout but you should really try to get that stupid teacher fired. People who show emotion do NOT belong around children. No crying, no laughing, no frowning. Stand there stoic and do not move.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:30 PM
She doesn't sound two faced in the least. She saw the girl crying and was concerned. Only AFTER her "3yr" old daughter still bought it up hours later did the OP say she was concerned about the effect it had on the little kids. CLEARY the crying care giver didn't give a crap about the effect on the little ones if a parent could hear what she was saying when coming down the stairs. That means the stupid irresponsible care giver was speaking clear enough the little ones could hear!

Amazing, you must be all of 20 years old.


Quoting mes_deux_amours:

you sound two faced. You comfort her and then tell everyone who will listen? You should have told her to her face that it wasn't ok. I would let it rest unless it continued to happen.

wyattsmom2009
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:30 PM
Have you every heard of emergencies? Like you don't get upset if you get bad news? Right... I forgot moms on here are perfect.
Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:31 PM

I'd be concerned with what was said in front of the children, sure.  And the fact she was crying hard enough to be heard up the stairs.  

That said, you told the superiors.  Give them a chance to handle it.  You have no idea what is going on with her life, and she might not have wanted to go into detail in front of the children when she'd already lost her composure.

I'd go back to the superiors in a week and ask if everything was OK.  Understand there are privacy concerns, but voice again the concerns you have about the children being exposed to relationship spats in the classroom setting

chalisa0
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:31 PM
2 moms liked this

You've ALREADY made a big deal of it.  You told two other staff members.  It is up to them to deal with it.  So what if your child saw someone crying-once.  Just let it go.  If this is the kind of thing that is going to work you up this bad, just wait until the middle school years.  You don't know what drama is, my friend.

mes_deux_amours
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:33 PM
1 mom liked this
No I'm not 20. I just dislike people who act like they care and then turn around and complain to everyone.

Her post sounded as though she was walking out of the center after hugging the teacher and offering help to tell one of the "senior" teachers there. I don't agree the teacher should have been on the phone but I think she's told enough people and to let it go.


Quoting Anonymous:

She doesn't sound two faced in the least. She saw the girl crying and was concerned. Only AFTER her "3yr" old daughter still bought it up hours later did the OP say she was concerned about the effect it had on the little kids. CLEARY the crying care giver didn't give a crap about the effect on the little ones if a parent could hear what she was saying when coming down the stairs. That means the stupid irresponsible care giver was speaking clear enough the little ones could hear!



Amazing, you must be all of 20 years old.





Quoting mes_deux_amours:

you sound two faced. You comfort her and then tell everyone who will listen? You should have told her to her face that it wasn't ok. I would let it rest unless it continued to happen.

Ashes0813
by Candice on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:35 PM
So you comfort her then tell on her.. and now want to push it even further.

Teach your child about emotions and have a little compassion.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:35 PM
Yep, and she should have excused herself and NOT taken a personal call during work. If she wants that type of job, do in home daycare!!! Then you can talk on your phone all day long.
And it's her BOYFRIEND!!!! She'll have a dozen more of those before she settles down since she doesn't have enough sense to separate her personal problems from her job.
Heck, give that job to an illegal alien, they'll at least appreciate their job since "entitled' young adults don't have enough respect to go on break for this type if issue.
Heck, I'd understand completely if the girl took a call and her mom was in the hospital or something like that... But a boyfriend??? Unacceptable!!!

Quoting Mommina:

 




Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with YOU!!!
I'm so sick of unprofessional people not being held accountable. This country is going to hell in a hand basket because people are either freaking out over stupid piddly stuff such as whether a parent gives their kid candy in a store... To, not doing a thing about something that actually DOES matter when little 3 yr olds are effected BY that unprofessional behavior.

We've all had tough times, but its different when your job influences the innocent. Children are innocent and should be safeguarded as such by others.

Go to the Director! I agree with your post 100%s

This country is going to hell because people have no compassion.  A person cried at work?  "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN??????????"   gimme a break! 


 

Mommina
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:38 PM

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Yep, and she should have excused herself and NOT taken a personal call during work. If she wants that type of job, do in home daycare!!! Then you can talk on your phone all day long.
And it's her BOYFRIEND!!!! She'll have a dozen more of those before she settles down since she doesn't have enough sense to separate her personal problems from her job.
Heck, give that job to an illegal alien, they'll at least appreciate their job since "entitled' young adults don't have enough respect to go on break for this type if issue.
Heck, I'd understand completely if the girl took a call and her mom was in the hospital or something like that... But a boyfriend??? Unacceptable!!!

Quoting Mommina:

 


 


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with YOU!!!
I'm so sick of unprofessional people not being held accountable. This country is going to hell in a hand basket because people are either freaking out over stupid piddly stuff such as whether a parent gives their kid candy in a store... To, not doing a thing about something that actually DOES matter when little 3 yr olds are effected BY that unprofessional behavior.

We've all had tough times, but its different when your job influences the innocent. Children are innocent and should be safeguarded as such by others.

Go to the Director! I agree with your post 100%s

This country is going to hell because people have no compassion.  A person cried at work?  "WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN??????????"   gimme a break! 


 

Yup.  That's about as dramatic as it can get.  Maybe.  Let's see, maybe another  snotty no life having mom can have you beat.

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