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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Something happened... **EDIT #4 FINAL Post and replies contain cussing

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 137 Replies

My daughter is three and goes to preschool.  It's on the small side and seems to be family centered even though it's a center and not an inhome daycare.  Yesterday when I arrived to pick up my daughter, I went downstairs to her classroom.  As I'm going down the stairs I can't hear what is being said but it sounds as if someone is crying.  I figure it's one of the kids.  I get to the bottom of the stairs and find my daughter's teacher on phone and she's crying on the landline phone saying, "Well when do you think you'll be home?"  When she sees me she immediately hangs up and wipes the tears from her eyes.  But, it's too late.  She's been this upset in the middle of the classroom in front of the kids.  My daughter says, "Ms. T is crying mom....Why is she sad?"  At the time, I gave the teacher a hug and asked if there was anything I could do.  She said she was having boyfriend troubles but that he's really a great guy.  As I took my daughter and went to exit the building I saw one of the more senior staff members and I mentioned to her that Ms T was downstairs in tears over a phone conversation she had just had with her boyfriend.  She told me I should talk to the director.  I went and spoke with the director and by the time I got to the car with my daughter, my daughter's teacher had been sent outside to supervise the younger children on the playground.

This happened yesterday and the more I think about it, the more I don't like it. It was a significant enough event that an hour and a half later, it was the first thing my daughter told my husband (her dad) after greeting him when he got home from work even though I didn't mention it between the time it happened and he arrived home.  I want to send the director an email to the effect that in my opinion what happened should have never happened and that it is unprofessional for the teacher to have a personal phone call when she is supposed to be working.  At the least, it was unprofessional for her to be that upset in front of the kids.  She could have gone into the restroom long enough to wrap it up and dry her eyes---The restroom is right in the same room.  The children had no idea what was going on and were so worried about their teacher and I felt badly for them.  If I had another option to be honest, I would probably pull my daughter out.  What would you do?

EDIT:  I have cried at work.  I have had bad days.  BUT, I don't work with children and I keep my personal life out of my work.

EDIT #2  I have been a teacher.  I've also been a teacher with boyfriend problems but none of my students ever knew it because it had nothing to do with them.  From 7-3, my students had my complete attention.  I've cried in front of my older students.  I had 4 kids in my classroom grades, 3,4,7, and 8 when the 9/11 attack happened.  

Also, why do SOME of you think I didn't treat the moment as a teachable moment?  I showed all those kids about compassion by comforting the teacher with a hug and asking her if there was anything I could do.  Of course I talked privately about the situation with my daughter when we got home and I explained that people sometimes make other people cry.  But sometimes people make eachother laugh too.  Her dad also talked to her when he got home and told her to be sure to give her teacher a hug this morning. 

I thought about removing my child from school because the situation didn't happen because the teacher got word of an accident, illness, or death.  It was an argument with her boyfriend.  She was arguing with her boyfriend in front of the kids and she was in tears and the second she saw me, she got off the phone.She knew she shouldn't be on the phone or else she wouldn't have hung up so abruptly. 

EDIT #3  I did not rat the teacher out.  Had I known the director was in the building I would have gone straight to the director but I first saw another teacher.  I told the teacher about what was going on because that teacher didn't have any students and was just cleaning.  I thought maybe the teacher could go down and check on the crying teacher.  It was only after I told the teacher about the crying teacher that I found out the director was in the building and I was told to go talk to her. 

 FINAL EDIT #4

I will not be responding to or editing this post any more.  I get it...I'm a bitch.  I'm two-faced.  I'm a back stabber.  I lack compassion  I'm a busy body/I'm nosy.  I went overboard.  I hold the woman to too high of a standard.  The girl needs a break. 

As a society we have been conditioned to mind our own business and look the other way.  The problem is that when we do that, bad things happen to good people.

 I don't believe I was wrong for alerting the woman's coworkers that she was involved in an emotionally charged situation.  You will never convince me otherwise.

Thank you all for your feedback and a special thank you to those of you who managed to answer my question about what you would have done in the situation and not turn it into a personal attack on me.  Hugs!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:00 PM
4 moms liked this
If its a one time thing I'd let it go. Sounds like the teacher was having a rough day, like we all do.
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lulalacroix
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:02 PM
3 moms liked this

Agreed!  These kids don't need this drama and they shouldn't have to worry about what's wrong with their teacher.  I wouldn't necessarily take my dd out, but I would speak with director and confirm that this behavior isn't okay and won't happen again.

christina0607
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:03 PM
18 moms liked this
Real life happens to the people who care for your kids. You can't expect it won't sometimes people have feelings...why not just explain to your child about emotions and why sometimes they come out at the most inopportune time?
HelloSweetie
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd let it go unless its common event, you've already spoken to the higher ups about it

sarah824
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:04 PM
1 mom liked this

If this type of thing happened often then I would be concerned. If this is the first time then let it go. You have NO idea what is going on in her life. We all have things that come up at inopportune times. Maybe she didn't handle it the best way possible, but I wouldn't push the issue unless it happened again.

Kristanna
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:05 PM
15 moms liked this

Oh step off your high horse. You can't be serious? 

From what you say this is a one time event, driven home by the fact that it "affected your child" so much that she mentioned it to her dad 1st thing. So if it had happened before you obviously would of heard about it.

You already told two of the higher ups, let them take care of the issue now. 

If it happens again, then further express your concern and displeasure. But for now you coming across as a loon. 

kimmaylove013
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:05 PM

I don't think I'd pull my child out, tho it was very inappropriate, I would touch base with the director again and inquire what was done. 

PinkHart
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:05 PM
That's why most employers don't allow personal phone calls . You are there to work and do your assigned duties. Not cry to your bf.
PoplarGrove
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:06 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's a one time thing let it go. People have bad days and there is nothing wrong with children seeing someone sad.  It teaches them that everyone is sad sometimes and fosters empathy.

The fact that it was still on your daughter's mind hours later tells me this isn't an every day thing.  Give the teacher a break.  It sounds like she's in the process of breaking up with or being dumped/cheated on with her boyfriend and probably needs a bit of compassion and empathy.  

yayay15
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:06 PM
4 moms liked this
She was crying? I mean sure, she probably shouldn't be on the phone in the middle of teaching young children but she wasn't harming anyone. It's okay for a child to see Someone crying.

If she was yelling and cussing that would be a different story.
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