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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Send him a pic of the evidence now, or wait until he gets home?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Dh has battled with prescription painkiller addiction for several years. I recently found out he had relapsed. I gave him an ultimatum and he has been on board.

Before the ultimatum h spent a few days with his grandma who takes prescription fentanyl patches...when he came home I noticed the outline if a sticker in his leg. I knew she took fentanyl, but they know about his addiction too and usually hide theirs. He denied it, but I think I knew anyway I just left it at that.

Now, I found an empty wrapper from the fentanyl patch in his suitcase. I know it's from that weekend.

We've been getting along fine since the ultimatum, and he used it before agreeing to work things out.

I don't want to rock the boat for something in the past if he's actually moving forward with changes. It I'm pissed. He's such an idiot. I lost my brother to a heroin overdose, and this patch could have killed him.

So do I confront him when he gets home? I took a pic of it and taped it to the bathroom mirror. It could be hours before he gets home and I'm fuming. Why should I have to suck it up while he's at work? I want to text him a picture of it now...but there's not much he can say about it. He works in customers homes.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Replies (11-20):
mes_deux_amours
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:21 PM

wait until he gets home and don't be confrontational.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:23 PM
So it was after he agreed. If he already knows everything you could possibly tell him about how dangerous it is and if he already knows you'll leave if it happens again - what positive outcome will result from a confrontation about it?

Quoting Anonymous:

I'm not so much mad about the lying as I am about the fact it was a fentanyl patch. That is far worse than popping a few Vicodin. It's irresponsible and could have left our dd fatherless. It was a large dose.



He left because I threatened divorce and told him i would leave if he didn't get clean. So technically it was after the ultimatum but before he agreed to it.



Quoting Anonymous:

It was before the ultimatum so I don't see the point in bringing it up. I'm quite sure he kept a lot of drug use from you before. He's suppose to be clean slated so I'd leave it alone.
southern.momof2
by Pirate on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:24 PM
I would tape the pic to the mirror and be gone when he gets home. I was raised by a drug addicted mom, it was prescription pain pill abuse, and i refuse to go through that again!
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:28 PM
Wait till you can face him. Sending the pic gives him warning and time to come up with z story. Confront in person and you see all the emotion on his face.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:31 PM
Well there's not really denying it. I have the wrapper to a fentynal patch that I found in his suitcase after visiting a place with fentynal patches.

Quoting Anonymous:

Wait till you can face him. Sending the pic gives him warning and time to come up with z story. Confront in person and you see all the emotion on his face.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Oh grandma must've dropped it there. She helped me pack. Must've been mixed in with my clothes/papers.

There may be no denying but why give him a chance to practice an excuse?


Quoting Anonymous:

Well there's not really denying it. I have the wrapper to a fentynal patch that I found in his suitcase after visiting a place with fentynal patches.



Quoting Anonymous:

Wait till you can face him. Sending the pic gives him warning and time to come up with z story. Confront in person and you see all the emotion on his face.

sampson200
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:47 PM

Understandable.

Perhaps, though, this is Providence, giving you time to cool down and figure out the best way to attack this huge issue.

I wish you luck, calm, and an open and understanding husband.

Quoting Anonymous:

That's what I'm leaning towards. I'm just anxious and pissed. I'm basically pacing in the house.

Quoting Mommy2b2many:

I'd wait till he gets home... sounds like a serious conversation; and one that should be done in person


teri4lance
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:50 PM

wait - he did this BEFORE you agreed he'd quit? why are you doing this? 

amberleh
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:50 PM

It was before you gave him the ultimatum to which he agreed. I would let it go and continue on your way.

JackieGirl007
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 6:51 PM

 Do you know how hard it is to just quit? I've been on prescribed pain meds for a long period and it was my choice to get off of them. I've never suffered a worse hell. He may need serious help. If I had to work while getting off of them I would have lost my job. I hope I'm not coming across as snarky, all I'm trying to say is that he needs help IMO. He's not doing this to be selfish, he's doing this to be able to keep functioning most likely.

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