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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

confession: I disowned my family.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

banging head into wall I'm so upset. I haven't cried yet. I guess I'm relieved. I disowned my family yesterday. I haven't been around them for 20 years. I came to be with them for I thought I missed them not the drama. I had talked to them for a while before making my transition from one state to the next. I don't rely on them, I have my own $. I've spent over 5,000.00 helping them out since I moved here. It was one thing after another. I now in the last two months have told them "NO". I enabled them too much, my fault. But I warned them (nicely of course) that the cow will dry soon and I can't keep helping them, so they were warned.

My nephew got into trouble which was his own fault nobody else's. I refused to take care of his dog because I have three I care for now and myself. His ex gf went into his house and stole the dog while he was in jail. Not my fault! But long story short I refused to help out because I can't take care of his dog and my 3. One is 18 years old, the other is 10 years old and the other one is 8 years old. His dog is smaller, not trained and it would cause a huge fuss for me knowing I do have a life outside of my dogs that I love.

My mom and I talked and she agreed I did the right thing that his ex gf and her mom could take care of his dog for they know the dog well, I don't. So figuring it was all settled I go down to the jail to visit him and he denied my visit. I hadn't seen my nephew since he was 2  years old. He is now 22 years old. He has mental issues but you couldn't tell by looking at him. He works, has a pregnant girlfriend and basically knows right from wrong, he just chooses to make poor decisions for himself which again is not my fault!

So, I find out my mother is the culprit in this. You see my mom is bi polar. She is OCD as well. She has to have everything her way. Noone is allowed an opinion but HER! She thinks everyone should think like her and if you don't then you are mental. (reality is- SHE IS). I'm glad I'm not like her, thank goodness. She's always been the type to play games. Hell, she don't even get along with her neighbors. Every place she lives in she alienates her neighbors and she is about ready to get thrown out of her place and she just started living there 5 months ago if that. She blames everyone for her problems. It is ridiculous!

As I said she is the culprit in this whole thing of why I disowned them. I am just sick of their shit! Always blaming me and I am the one that opened up my pocket book to help them. They are after all my family. But after talking to my therapist she reassures me I did the right thing. It is not about one incident it is about all my life how that woman has treated me. My brother is always perfect, his sons, but me and my daughter are shit. I don't get it. She turned my nephew on me now, and I hope she is happy! I am not however. I'm done with dyfunctional family. I can't keep helping out and treated like trash. My pocket book is now closed, off limits etc. I am done! 

Like I said there is so much more to this situation but mainly this is how it started. My own mother throwing me under the bus and lieing to suit herself. She is the type that has to have credit for every single thing she does or she doesn't feel appreciated. Sickening! I am tired of her slapping on me, calling me names, but when he light bill is due she expects me to just pay it. I refuse now! I tell her work it out on her own. I am done bailing her out and being treated like shit. What would you have done? Just want honest answers, not to be bashed. Thanks.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sasha-
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:53 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like they were toxic, good for you for breaking the bonds.

Roxanne92
by Silver Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:54 PM
Good for you you took a giant step for you and you daughter,I would have done the same thing stepping away from a situation is better than going to jail for hurting someone cause that what would of happened with me.
Keep strong and your head held high
BEXi
by BEXi on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:56 PM

You will never be able to live in peace until you get rid of all the toxic people in your life. You did the right thing.. I know it's not easy. ):

susan115
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:57 PM

My family is crazy and I rarely speak to them.  Love my sister though.  Now, the only times I have ever gone crazy yelling is at my family.  Don't sweat it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 7:58 PM

 

Thank you for your kind words and support. I truly truly needed that.

Quoting Sasha-:

Sounds like they were toxic, good for you for breaking the bonds.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:01 PM

 

exactly. With my health issues I have to have calmness and peace and they are making me sicker. Thank you for not bashing me in this. If you only knew the whole story I think most of you mom's would say I was an idiot for moving here.

Quoting BEXi:

You will never be able to live in peace until you get rid of all the toxic people in your life. You did the right thing.. I know it's not easy. ):


 

Sasha-
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:03 PM

My family is similiar, they hate my hubs and have done things to him,  I want to disown them but the only reason I do not is because of my hubs does not want to come between me and them, so for him i put up with them.  They are toxic as well and I wish I would of never got back in contact with them.  Even though I want to  I know its still not a easy decision to make,  I am glad you feel you and your daughter are worth more and deserve more then what they give you. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:04 PM

 

thank you. I feel I did the right thing for her and I. My daughter doesn't like her grandma and the family because of the way they treat her mother (me). I appreciate your opinion. It means so much. My mother has threatened me with a board and to bash in my window in my truck, she has done so many mean things since I moved her but expects me to just not remember and give her $. She is just psycho, my opinion.

Quoting Roxanne92:

Good for you you took a giant step for you and you daughter,I would have done the same thing stepping away from a situation is better than going to jail for hurting someone cause that what would of happened with me.
Keep strong and your head held high


 

csxt99
by Jennifer on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:05 PM

It sounds like you did the right thing!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 8:05 PM

Quoting Sasha-:

Sounds like they were toxic, good for you for breaking the bonds.


Thank you so much! I appreciate your opinion in this situation. I'm not torn though because I grew up abused by her. So I feel no guilt.
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