Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Ways to earn a little extra money+vent

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies

I became a SAHM two years ago after we relocated to a new place for DH's work. There literally is no way for me to get a PT job in my city since the cost of driving to the main city plus childcare would not be worth my earnings. It's not that we are strapped for cash though either. My DH makes around 60k a year, not a lot, but we are debt free and comfortable. Our mortgage is only 1200 a month and I try to be thrifty by shopping the 99 cent store every couple of days do get the best deals on things that are 5 times as much as the market. DH said I'm nickel and diming him by doing this. So now he doesn't wan't me to use the debit card. He wants to give me cash instead. Basically an allowance I guess? So on Sat he gave me $25. On Sunday HE insisted/ did the grocery shopping. One of the things he bought was a 4 pack of steaks that cost $37. 

I have one dollar in my wallet right now. I have to choose carefully WHERE I go because of the gas factor- yep not supposed to use the card, right? I HAD to buy milk and bread during the week, cigarettes (I know- nasty habit). Today he got home and felt really akward asking him if I could buy a few things tomorrow. He said "like what" So I told him my list, he thought about it and nodded yes. I said "do you want me to use cash again" felling REALLY akward now because well it's akward. He said Idk maybe I'll get you some cash when I get back from working on my cousins car tonight. I don't know why but at that moment- I SNAPPED! I said "you know what forget about it, YOU just buy what YOU think we should have." Needless to say he came out pissed asking me what the hell that was all all about, is pissed and left to his cousins and refused dinner. 

I don't know what to do. Maybe I'l look into babysitting since I'm already a sahm? But anyways why did I snap!? What do you think of this?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
NewInChrist
by on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this
I would snap, too. In our marriage the money is ours, nit just dh's. My job is raising ds and keeping the house presentable. His job is to go to work.
la-cosa-nostra
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:56 PM

I think your husband is a controlling asshole

csxt99
by Jennifer on Jul. 24, 2013 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this

You snapped because he is treating you like a child instead of a partner.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:00 PM


Yes I suppose. I also find it hard to understand why he can't comprhend that by me shopping the deals throughout the week actually saves us money. He wan't to see ONE and only one grocery shopping bill on his statement every week. 

Quoting csxt99:

You snapped because he is treating you like a child instead of a partner.



meg0620
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:02 PM
My df and I share money. We sit down together when he gets paid and budget everything and give each other the left over as spending money. :) all cash. We rarely use the debit card.
Tabelite
by Bronze Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:03 PM
How are you nickel and diming him of you're shopping at the 99 cent store? I don't get why he can get away with buying $37 steaks but you can't spend, what's the max?, $5-10 at the dollar store?! That's bs, no wonder you snapped! What a controlling jerk. Good luck!
SweetMama823
by Platinum Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:03 PM
Bc its bullshit that you have to ask him for money. You should be able to get what you need for the home. I'd be pissed too. He shouldn't treat you like a child.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
IWantOneMorePlz
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Tell him "I already have a father, I don't need you treating me like I am one of your kids.  I WILL use the debit card for whatever I need, and if you don't like it, tough shit!  This is a marriage, and I will be treated equal."

quickbooksworm
by Ruby Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:09 PM

I couldn't handle that.  Honestly, I'd lose my shit too. 

If he's really insistent on not shopping more than once a week, you guys need to figure out how much you spend on groceries and household items and take that out in cash, not some random number he pulls out of his ass.  I like using cash too, but I'm reasonable about how much I need.  Same with gas, I don't take out enough gas for 1/4 tank and bitch because I really need a whole tank for the week.

Mint.com is your new best friend, I swear by it.  It allows you to categorize your purchases, set budgets, and tells you when you go over budget.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 10:11 PM


I guess I don't feel equal financially. Since I'm not. The thing that also frustrates me is even if I WERE able to get a pt job he would be miserable because he doesn't do housework or cook, likes everything to be taken care of when he gets home. I also hate that I don't know if he's BS ing me since he controls the finances. I honestly don't know if on 5000 a month and our bills if it's really so bad for me to to spend the little that I do. Maybe it is?

Quoting IWantOneMorePlz:

Tell him "I already have a father, I don't need you treating me like I am one of your kids.  I WILL use the debit card for whatever I need, and if you don't like it, tough shit!  This is a marriage, and I will be treated equal."



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN