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Wish I could go through with it... *edit*

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 78 Replies

But I'm too week to. 

My mind hurts so much. 

I have thought of many different ways. 

Take all my sezure meds. 

The whole Costco bottle of pain pills.,

drink the booze in the house.,

antifreeze. 

Slice my wrists with the knifes my inlaws bought us. 


Nothing makes me happy. I got $5,000 from a relative that passed and yet I can't buy anything for me. Becouse for some reason I feel I don't deserve it. 

My head hurts. I'm so stressed. I was at the doctor today and scored really high on the depression and the anxiety questioners he gave me. Yet there is nothing he can do with my psych meds. I can't get a psych to see me. I have been looking for over 4 years now. 4 years of my doctor sending referrals off every few months. 

Im just done. 

*edit* 

i got a call from my doctor. They finally after 4 years and sending out over 20 referrals per year to shrinks has finally found one for me. 

I have an appt in 2 weeks. 

Im trying to hold in for the next two weeks... 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CountryStrong84
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:51 PM
there's always hope :)
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:55 PM


Right now there is nothing. I hurt so much. So verry much. I just want to run. I want to run far away where no one knows me. 

I want to run in to the bat part of town and let someone rape and kill me.

i have no hope... 

Quoting CountryStrong84:

there's always hope :)



CountryStrong84
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:58 PM
ehhh...you have more than you think. you are crying for help or attention. I don't care which one. I'm just here to say that you can make it. go excersize, eat an apple, write in a journal, watch a good movie. occupy your time until you can find a therapist who can help you get go the root of your problem.,

Quoting Anonymous:


Right now there is nothing. I hurt so much. So verry much. I just want to run. I want to run far away where no one knows me. 

I want to run in to the bat part of town and let someone rape and kill me.

i have no hope... 


Quoting CountryStrong84:

there's always hope :)




Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:21 AM
bump
ROBIN-C
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:25 AM
1 mom liked this

Take that money and get a mani/pedi and a hair cut for starters! Sounds silly I know but it will make you feel better. You deserve to do something for yourself! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:26 AM


In this last year my GP has referred me to over 25 shrinks. Not one will take me. 

I want to call in sick from work and find some way to end it. 

My DH is out for drinks with his guy friends. If I was not home with the kids I thnk I would have done it. 

Quoting CountryStrong84:

ehhh...you have more than you think. you are crying for help or attention. I don't care which one. I'm just here to say that you can make it. go excersize, eat an apple, write in a journal, watch a good movie. occupy your time until you can find a therapist who can help you get go the root of your problem.,

Quoting Anonymous:


Right now there is nothing. I hurt so much. So verry much. I just want to run. I want to run far away where no one knows me. 

I want to run in to the bat part of town and let someone rape and kill me.

i have no hope... 


Quoting CountryStrong84:

there's always hope :)






Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:28 AM


I just don't deserve it..,  

Quoting ROBIN-C:

Take that money and get a mani/pedi and a hair cut for starters! Sounds silly I know but it will make you feel better. You deserve to do something for yourself! 



kgsharber
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:31 AM

You know there is no magic cure for depression right? You have to want it.

Quoting Anonymous:


In this last year my GP has referred me to over 25 shrinks. Not one will take me. 

I want to call in sick from work and find some way to end it. 

My DH is out for drinks with his guy friends. If I was not home with the kids I thnk I would have done it. 

Quoting CountryStrong84:

ehhh...you have more than you think. you are crying for help or attention. I don't care which one. I'm just here to say that you can make it. go excersize, eat an apple, write in a journal, watch a good movie. occupy your time until you can find a therapist who can help you get go the root of your problem.,

Quoting Anonymous:


Right now there is nothing. I hurt so much. So verry much. I just want to run. I want to run far away where no one knows me. 

I want to run in to the bat part of town and let someone rape and kill me.

i have no hope... 


Quoting CountryStrong84:

there's always hope :)







brittney28
by Brittney on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:34 AM
You have kids. They need there mom. Be strong not selfish. I hope you find help..... Never give up hope. You have a life. Live it.
shadow_lark
by Gold Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 12:34 AM
Have you been in contact with nami at all? They may be able to help. I know it may be hard to believe right now, but you do deserve life. You deserve to be happy. Keep holding.on, the right avenue will show itself in time.
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