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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Wish I could go through with it... *edit*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

But I'm too week to. 

My mind hurts so much. 

I have thought of many different ways. 

Take all my sezure meds. 

The whole Costco bottle of pain pills.,

drink the booze in the house.,

antifreeze. 

Slice my wrists with the knifes my inlaws bought us. 


Nothing makes me happy. I got $5,000 from a relative that passed and yet I can't buy anything for me. Becouse for some reason I feel I don't deserve it. 

My head hurts. I'm so stressed. I was at the doctor today and scored really high on the depression and the anxiety questioners he gave me. Yet there is nothing he can do with my psych meds. I can't get a psych to see me. I have been looking for over 4 years now. 4 years of my doctor sending referrals off every few months. 

Im just done. 

*edit* 

i got a call from my doctor. They finally after 4 years and sending out over 20 referrals per year to shrinks has finally found one for me. 

I have an appt in 2 weeks. 

Im trying to hold in for the next two weeks... 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 24, 2013 at 11:50 PM
Replies (71-78):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:05 AM

I made it through the night. My eyes are very swollen. My throat hurts. I called in sick from work. 

My DH did read what I wrote and is holding me. But I'm just feeling the ame. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:16 AM


I slept last night. Fell asleep before DH came home. He read all my posts on here he told me this morning.... 

Just gave me a hug and said he loves me. I wish he would care.  I wish he would understand how much I hurt. 

He then proceeded to say "your staying home I hope you will actually clean up the house".., wtf? 

Im just emotionally drained. I'm done.., 

Quoting melakay1981:

That could very well be a huge part of your problem.  Depending on where that cyst is pushing it could cause major mood problems.  I am not sure that any medication for a mental disorder is going to help you very much.  When was the last time they took a look at the cyst to see if it has grown?  You could have a lot of pressure on your brain and need a steroid

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 3:53 PM

2 weeks feels so far away. I'm exhausted. I'm in pain emotionally. I just hurt. 

rainmommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:34 PM

hang in there hun the beginning is the roughest but once your on schedule and in a routine things will get better 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:40 PM


DH just called. Asked how I'm doing and I said "I'm still here"

he started yelling at me in to the phone. I hung up. I txt him not to yell at me when I'm in a fragile state... 

LIKE think I'm going to take the dog and leave just before he gets home. I don't know where to go. 

Quoting rainmommy:

hang in there hun the beginning is the roughest but once your on schedule and in a routine things will get better 



rainmommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:45 PM

yeah if you have some where safe to go hun then leave for a while mental illness hard ont he hole family and some members just dont get it

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 25, 2013 at 7:52 PM


I have no actual place to go.... 

Quoting rainmommy:

yeah if you have some where safe to go hun then leave for a while mental illness hard ont he hole family and some members just dont get it



rainmommy
by Bronze Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 1:02 AM

if you live in a safe place just start walking till your head is cleared


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