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13 Secrets Our Kids Have Spilled That Would Make Any Mom Cringe

Posted by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:47 AM
  • 165 Replies
3 moms liked this

13 Secrets Our Kids Have Spilled That Would Make Any Mom Cringe

by Jenny Isenman - Be careful what you tell your kids -- It will get repeated. I was just writing a piece on things our parents do that embarrass us even though we're grown up, when it dawned on me that my kids do things that embarrass me even more. My children have blurted out some very personal secrets to teachers, doctors, the person who gives you shoes at the bowling alley, and I'm sure unbeknownst to me -- to other people's parents as well.

The first time I recall being outed by one of my children was when my son was about 3. While in the checkout line at the grocery store, he looked at cashier and nonchalantly said, "My mommy walks around naked." As if it made perfect sense in the context of buying juice boxes.

I've also been privy to other people's juicy secrets, unsolicited mind you. (It's not like I drill little children that innocently come over to play or hook them to lie detectors while we enjoy cookies and then I ask if their mom has had any work done.)

Here are some of those secrets (and the reason we shouldn't let them leave the house) ...

1. Said to me at the window of a drive-thru: "My mom doesn't let me eat fast food, she says people who eat it are slobs."

2. Said while out to dinner with friends and their kids: "My dad only has one testicle."

3. As I handed my daughter's nursery school teacher our report about our weekend with the class's Clifford the Big Red Dog stuffed animal: "My mom made the whole thing up, Clifford was in our trunk all weekend."

4. Overheard while watching the kids swim: "My parents are getting a divorce because my dad has a boyfriend."

5. Said to the cable guy who was calling to say he would be at my house within the hour: "My Mom can't come to the phone right now, she's making a poop."

6. Said to my 11-year-old son at a sleepover: "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but my dad let me see Hot Tub Time Machine."

7. A friend's son explained, "My mom needed to have more sex to make my younger brother. My dad has slow swimming sperm."

8. A friend told me that my child said this while swimming at her house: "My mom says it's OK to pee in the pool if you REALLY have to go bad."

9. Said to my entire family at a playdate: "My mom has a penis." I'm guessing this one wasn't true, but the little boy certainly thought so.

10. Said to a friend's mother-in-law: "Mommy was all sweaty after the gym ... like she is when she wrestles Daddy in the morning."

11. One of my daughter's friends told me this on their first play date: "My mom had this laser done to her face and it made her dark spots look sooo gross. She was really getting it done to remove hair but she told me not to tell anyone that. She said I should say it was for a mole."

12. Said to my daughter during a game of house: "You be the baby, like the one my mommy has in her belly ... oops."

13. Confessed to me by my daughter: "I told Lily we couldn't have sleepovers anymore because you said she's annoying."

Yep, these are the types of things my sweet little imps (and yours) have volunteered during carpools, sleepovers, and playdates. Be careful what you tell them and who you let them talk to.

What confidential tidbits have you heard ... or have your offspring shared about you?

by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:47 AM
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by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:58 AM
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My daughter worked at a daycare centre and as a kid ran into the room, she picked her up; gave her a cuddle and as they hugged she said "Miss (name) guess what?". My dd responds, "What?" the little girl then says very solomely, "I went to mommy's bed in the middle of the night - and daddy was trying to squash mommy". She was like "Oh. I think we should go and unpack your bag now". As they walk over, "Yeah, I went to go and stop daddy, but he was wearing no clothes and I'm not 'pposed to be in mommy and daddies room when they have no clothes on so I went to bed - but mommy was making funny noises like daddy was trying to kill her." DD was trying not to crack it, and distracted the child with playdough. At the end of the day - who comes in to pick her up? Daddy. What does the little girl do? run straight over to him and say "Daddy! I told Miss (name) about you trying to hurt mommy last night and your in big trouble". Dad gets flustered, as some parents start to snigger, and then (here's the kicker) he attempts ot explain the situation to my daughter! it took all she had not to put her fingers in her ears and go "la la la" LOL!

by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:16 AM
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My niece tells everyone that she has two brothers but one don't live with them cause mommy said we don't have the room. Well her grandma is adopting her little cousin and he's is at my nieces house everyday cause her mom babysits him till the grandma comes and picks him up at night . So she started saying it was her little brother and no one ever stopped her cause they thought it was cute.

by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:23 AM
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My dd5 (3 at the time) announced at Thanksgiving dinner that "Moma has hair on her butt" lmao
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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I went to look to see if there , was alot of  wild  people in, the pool. Yes their was soI told  my son let's wait tothey leave before going swimming. He goes why? I was like  those  hillbillies will, jump on  kids and hurt them  okay. He shouts outthe nexttime  to the pool monitor there is no hillbillies here right now so we can go  swimming right?


by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:25 AM
1 mom liked this

bump form more these are funny!

by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:27 AM
5 moms liked this
I'm a teacher. I hear WAY more than I ever let on.

by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:38 AM
2 moms liked this
My son told his teacher his dad drinks and drives all the time during red ribbon week and he drinks beer. He conveniently left our that he drinks root beer. In the thirteen years DH and I have been together he's had maybe three drinks. I was horrified, thankfully the teacher thought it was hilarious.
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Bump for later
by Rebecca on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't even want to know what kind if stuff my son told his Pre-K teacher last year.
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:09 AM

yikes, my kids sometimes say off the wall comments but mainly my 3 yr DS, who will say mommy wears tampons, and girls have vaginas( of course it doesn't come out vaginas, more like bagina)lol and he will say about himself,  I have a penis.

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