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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My future SIL is too big for the bridesmaid dress UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 494 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What would you do?

Options:

Ask the girls to by a second dress

Tell future SIL she can't be in the wedding


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Total Votes: 206

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I asked my future SIL to be a bridesmaid at our wedding, which is in September. Because she lives out of state however, I went shopping with my other bridesmaids and maid of honor and she was going to order the dress we picked out in her size at her local store. We told the sales associate that we had to have a dress that came in plus size because SIL is between a 20-24 but a dress that also came in regular sizes because the other girls are between size 2-6. Anyway, we picked out the dress that we thought would look  nice on everyone and all 3 of the girls who were with me bought their dress, got measured for any needed alterations and paid for those alterations.

My future SIL called me yesterday to tell me that she went to the store to get that dress and was told they don't make that dress in plus size despite the fact that the sales associate assured me that they did. She told me they didn't carry it in that store but it could be ordered and there within a week. I went to our local store to find out what was going on and brought my maid of honor with me. The manager said she has no idea why the sales associate would tell me that but as it happens, she just went on maternity leave and won't be back till it is over. Basically, they told me there was nothing they could do on our end, they can't alter the biggest size they have to fit SIL and they can't refund the money for the other girl's dresses because they have already been altered.

We looked through all the dresses and there isn't one that coordinates that is a plus size dress.

So now I find myself in this position, either I have to ask 3 women who just spent over $200 on a dress plus about $100 on alterations to now buy a second dress or I have to tell my future SIL that because of her dress size, she can't be in the wedding.None of my bridesmaids are rich so $300 was a nice bit of money and I would just feel so guilty asking them to pay more. Even if we got clearance dresses, the dress plus alterations would still be about $200 each. At the same time, I don't want to tell my future SIL "sorry, you are too fat for the dress, you can't be a bridesmaid.

I think I have thought of everything. I can't offer to pay for the new dresses for the girls, there is just no extra money in the budget, we can't get the store to do anything for us and we looked through the entire plus size collection and there is nothing that even looks good with the bridesmaids dresses.

I talked to future SIL about everything and told her that our only real option is to see if we can find a dress in the same color but it would be different. She said that she didn't want to wear something different because then everyone would know it was because she is too fat for the real bridesmaid dress. She seemed a bit put off when she asked why we couldn't just do a different dress and I told her that wasn't an option and she got off the phone in a hurry. I am thinking that I might just offer her the position of guest book attendant because it's really the only position I can offer besides a bridesmaid and she has already said she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid and wear a different dress.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lucydiamond
by LD on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
42 moms liked this
I would put her in a different dress, same color.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
2 moms liked this

BUMP!

madisonismylife
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
What about a different store that sells the same type of dress?
HelloSweetie
by Gold Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:43 PM
3 moms liked this

Id find a dress somewhere that coordinates

angie729
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Could sil get a dress  that is the same color but similar that would blend with the other girls dresses?

MumsTheWord571
by Platinum Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:44 PM
It can't be ordered? Your op says it can be ordered. Or it it that it can't be ordered in her size?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:44 PM

We can't find anything in plus size that would even look good next to the other dresses. She woudn't look like a bridesmaid, it would just look really bad



Quoting lucydiamond:

I would put her in a different dress, same color.



bcauseimthemom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Why don't you have her try to get a similar dress in the same color??

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:45 PM

The sales associate told us it could be, that turns out not to be the case.



Quoting MumsTheWord571:

It can't be ordered? Your op says it can be ordered. Or it it that it can't be ordered in her size?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:45 PM
14 moms liked this

I'd make the store take them back and then tell the girls to all wear a variation on the same color. That way everyone is comfortable.

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