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When people can't accept that I've changed.

Posted by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:11 AM
  • 27 Replies
1 mom liked this

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I really got caught up in the party scene and had a life that I really didn't want. Yeah, I had some good times... But I was really only there because I was lost. When I met my husband (who wasn't a member of the party scene) everything just kind of fell into place and I got my shit together really quick. Thank God. Once I had my daughter I stopped hanging out with a lot of my old friends. I just didn't want their influence on myself as a mother or my children. I only had to "dump" one person... The rest I just drifted away from.

So fast forward to now... I'm a happily married mother of 2, with a nice home that I own, and I'm graduating from college next semester. I FINALLY feel good about where I am in life. My main goal in life has always been to have a family and be a good mom. I used to feel a lot of guilt about my past, but I'm now at a point that I have accepted it and don't really beat myself up over it anymore (thanks to a good round of therapy ;)) . But now and again someone from my past will pop up and make comments about it. It seems to be the same people. They will call me party girl (my old nick name) and don't seem accept it when I say... That's not my name anymore, don't call me that, I'm a mom now,ect. It's just made me realize that some people will only recognize me for what I was going through during that small glimpse of my life... Because that's only what they WANT to recognize me as no matter how much work I've done to better my life. It's sad really. Sometimes I think that people will only see what they want to see because they need someone to look down on. If that person is me... So be it. I have better things to worry about, and I'm not stuck in the past. People change sometimes get over it and move on! Rant over!
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:11 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KymberleeAnn
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:13 AM

True

KymberleeAnn
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:14 AM
1 mom liked this

But it's hard for people to accept that a person has sincerely change for the good. You just have to show them by your actions.

KymberleeAnn
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:15 AM
1 mom liked this

All the best to you!

MeaganP
by Silver Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:16 AM
Some people only know the old you and not the new u.

Why do u care what other people think
RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe, but I'm not going to do anything special just to prove myself to anyone. I'm just living my life and my focus is on my family right now.


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

But it's hard for people to accept that a person has sincerely change for the good. You just have to show them by your actions.


morning_glories
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Good for you. It is great that you turned around to live a positive healthy life. I would feel sad for my old friends that are still stuck in the past.
HilbillyMamaof3
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:22 AM
Well said.

I have had the same issue, it's been much longer now so it comes up less often. I had an old "friend" that I ran into at my sons first grade play of his new school. She embarrassed me to death, and herself. Once it was over, we had a nice chat. It was the same issue, someone recanting their glory days because she can't get out of the past. I know it hurt her that it wasn't well received, but I don't want to set that example for my kids. That was a life lived long ago, I'm a mother now, and though it was fun while it lasted that person is long gone.
KymberleeAnn
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:22 AM

That's true to there is really no need to go out of you to prove anything to them most people no matter what are just not pleased anyway.

Quoting RunningMommaof2:

Maybe, but I'm not going to do anything special just to prove myself to anyone. I'm just living my life and my focus is on my family right now.


Quoting KymberleeAnn:

But it's hard for people to accept that a person has sincerely change for the good. You just have to show them by your actions.



Glam_Mom_of_3
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:23 AM
GM everyone! I hear u but it's all in Psyc... Not sure what the degree will be in but it's definitely something u can read up on. Basically, when most people "remember" someone or something it is due to an association in their brain. EX: my neighbor may always smell like peaches so when I smell peaches I think of her and when I see her I think peaches. If these people were around when your name was party girl-their human brain automatically remembers you that way because they have a mental image of you being party girl connected to your face/voice,etc. Bottom line-some people are not strong enough 'mentally' to retrain their brain so you have to either totally ignore them or give them a good tongue lashing so they totally get what you want to be called.
Crystal185
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 7:23 AM
This is the same with me.
I was a mess before meeting my SO.
Now I've changed completely because we are having a daughter together but everyone constantly brings up my past and it annoys the shit out of me. I'm not my past.
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