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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I can't make him be a father!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 80 Replies

My son is 17 and has a 4 month old daughter. He was dating this girl and she ended up pregnant and through most of the pregnancy they were excited but he was very scared and he left her and my house. Of course he denied being the father and we had a paternity test done and he is the father. He has only seen the baby the day she was born and 2 other times.

I feel so bad for his ex. She is a really sweet girl. I sat down and had a heart to heart with her and told her that even though my son was a dead beat I would never be. I told her that me and DH loved our GD and that if she needed anything all she had to do was ask. We babysit her sometimes and even got an over night once because her mom was really sick and couldn't wake up to the baby. I wish we could spend more time with GD but we don't want to be pushy and have her distance herself. For now we will take this

I hope everyday that my son steps up! I have a hard time even talking to him because of his behavior. I thought I had raised him to be a mature and responsible young man but clearly something went wrong. 

I was talking to my mom and she said something that made my blood boil, "Honey, why don't you just make him be a father?" all I could say is "Well mom, I can't make him be a father!". I can not make him go and see her. Half the time I do not even know where he is and thanks to the fucked up law system the police will do nothing to bring him back (17 is not considered a runaway. They can encourage him to come back home but cant force it and he will be 18 soon) 

I try to talk to him all the time, I leave the door open for communication (even though it is hard). But he does not want to step up. Even with the paternity test he says she isn't his. He is in huge denial. I am so heartbroken every day and I can not believe I failed so much and raised a deadbeat. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:10 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:11 AM
2 moms liked this
What is this, new topic teen fathers who won't take care of their kids day?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:11 AM


I guess. I read that other post and it made me really think of this. I do not agree with his decision though like that other mom 

Quoting Anonymous:

What is this, new topic teen fathers who won't take care of their kids day?



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:14 AM
3 moms liked this

he would not be allowed back in my house.. if he abandons his child then he isn't a child of mine.

CheesyKitty
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Just do your best to keep her in your life. But you can't make him be dad. One day he might appreciate you keeping her close, but if not at least Gd knows you love her.
liels898
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:15 AM

I think you're doing the best you can. He shouldn't be forced to be a father, his child will have enough issues with an absent father, having a resentful father who doesn't want to be there will be a lot worse. At least you get to have a relationship with your granchild, that's really wonderful. And just further proof that family is what you make of it, not what your born with. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:15 AM
1 mom liked this


He has not come back into my house. He won't ever move back in unless he is in that baby's life

Quoting Anonymous:

he would not be allowed back in my house.. if he abandons his child then he isn't a child of mine.



MIA0223
by Emerald Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:15 AM
I am sorry :(
All you can do is be there consistently for BM.
Maybe as the baby gets older you could discuss weekend visits?
I think it's great you are in her life, most of the time when it comes to dads not stepping up the parents are all with him, their little boy can do no wrong!
Just be a support for her!
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Dzyre1115
by Desiree` on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:16 AM
2 moms liked this

 My children obey me and do as I say, he walks away from his responsibilities because you did the same thing.  It is your responsibility as a parent to make your children live the right way and do the right thing.  I can only imagine that if you let him slide on such a major issue that you have no trouble letting him slide on everything else.

aimee091712
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 9:16 AM
So sad :-( hopefully, he will come around.
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