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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

MIL wants to invite 10 extra people to DD's birthday update/ UPDATE ON THE PARTY

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Actually, she technically already has. FIL's cousin moved to town recently with his wife, their 5 kids and his SIL (wife's sister) and her 2 kids. I have never met or even heard of these people, DH has never met any of these people, yet without even asking, MIL invited ALL 10 OF THEM to DD's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese (please no bashing that it is a Chuck e Cheese party, I am 35 weeks pregnant and I didn't want to deal with setting up and cleaning up after the party, plus her friend had her's there last year and she really wanted it.)

Between family and some close friends, we invited about 40 adults and 15 kids of which 34  adults and 12 kids are coming. The kids are about $20, which was fine because I knew there would be no more then 15 kids. For the adults, I pay paying for 1 drink (refillable) and 3 pieces of pizza (they are TINY at chuck e cheese). Just these additional people are going to cost me over $160, and I didn't even invite them. And I am not trying to say the party itself is too expensive, we planned for this party and we budgeted for it, we didn't plan on an extra 10 people including 7 extra kids. Not to mention I have already gone and bout the stuff for the goodie bags and put everything together so not only would I incur the extra cost but I would have to go buy more stuff for the goodie bags.

What gets me is MIL just called all casual and left the voicemail "oh BTW uncle ____ and his family moved into town so I invited them, that 3 adults and 7 kids" like it was no big deal. I told DH what his mother said and at first he was annoyed but didn't see the big deal, then I showed him how much more money it would be and he saw the big deal. He called her and told her that since she invited them, she can either pay the $175 or so it will be for the kids, adults, and for me to buy more stuff for the goodie bags for those kids or she can uninvite them. She started yelling at him saying how dare he be so disrespectful to her and that he knows they don't have that kind of money but how is she supposed to uninvite them. He told her she should have thought about that before inviting people to a party she isn't throwing. She hung up on them.

At this point, I am 99% sure she won't uninvite them and I am 99% sure she isn't going to pay for them.

I called Chuch e cheese and they were able to change the time, so that was a lucky and wonderful suggestion, thanks, T1gger143. I sent out a facebook message to everyone except MIL and FIL, no one else from the party talks to them. Anyway, by the time they get there for the 1 pm party, the party that now starts at 11 will be just about over.

UPDATE

So the party went really well. Everyone had a great time. MIL and the uninvited guests showed up just before 1. At that point, we were just about to sing Happy Birthday and have cake so they were there for that. I saved the kids some tokens so we stayed and played longer. I explained that I didn't know they were coming . It worked out well because they weren't stuck paying for themselves and the kids but the kids still got to play and have cake and we didn't have to pay extra. MIL was PISSED but oh well.

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:23 PM
You need stand up and refuse to pay 175 for complete strangers.
SWasson
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I would do this:

Quoting CampClan:

I would call the Uncle & explain it to him. "We've never met & while I would love to meet you & your family I honestly don't think _____ party is the best place for it. You have to understand that MIL did not ask us before she invited you & we simply can not afford another $170 to put into the party that we only budgeted to have (amount of people) for."


LilliesValley
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:23 PM

then just keep letting your dh deal with her and them if they come. We do great with dh handling his family and me handling mine. glad your dh gets what the big deal is with the extra cost. that's just not right.

mommieof38829
by Platinum Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:24 PM
That's why I dot invite Dh family to anything
JakeandEmmasMom
by Silver Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:25 PM
3 moms liked this
I would call them myself, introduce myself, and welcome them to town. I'd tell them how much I was looking forward to meeting them in person and getting the kids together. I'd suggest plans to have them over for a barbecue. Then I would explain that MIL invited them to the party without talking to you, and without realizing how expensive it would be, and that it simply isn't in the budget to have that many extra people at the last minute. If they are reasonable people, they will totally understand. If they are not reasonable people, all the more reason you don't want them there.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
yayay15
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I would just tell them they have to buy their kids their own tokens and pizza. Maybe they won't come.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Bethsunshine
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Tell MIL she can either pay for the extra guests or uninvite them.
Sigmalade
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:28 PM

When the adults walk into the party just state before they sit down that they will have to pay for their own expenses. They will either leave or pay. If they complain, just say you told your MIL and she was to forward the information to them. 

LadyAmaranth
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:29 PM

1000% this...and if all else fails, change the time! Lol

Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

I would call them myself, introduce myself, and welcome them to town. I'd tell them how much I was looking forward to meeting them in person and getting the kids together. I'd suggest plans to have them over for a barbecue. Then I would explain that MIL invited them to the party without talking to you, and without realizing how expensive it would be, and that it simply isn't in the budget to have that many extra people at the last minute. If they are reasonable people, they will totally understand. If they are not reasonable people, all the more reason you don't want them there.


~Hillarie~
Mama to 3 Joyfully Chaotic Sons

http://kissmybleepcancer.blogspot.com/

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 28, 2013 at 4:29 PM

So then make them pay for themselves. 

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