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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Free loaders how to deal....

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:05 PM
  • 28 Replies
I will start by saying I love my god son. As much as my own children. I also will say the same for his mother. I will do anything for them, and have been for a few months now. On and off.

Problem I am having is, the mom we will call her T, has a bad history. She cant hold a job. Can't stay out of trouble, and she often resorts to pills and weed when depressed which is quite often. She also has an eating disorder.
My god son will be 2 next month btw. T is 23.

So anyway T got caught with her baby daddy when he was shop lifting. She had no idea, so she says, cause she.paid for her stuff. Anyway that was right around the time she got pregnant with god son. She ended up with a 1000 dollar fine for it. She now has a warrant because it hasn't been paid yet, last month she acquired a dui.
She has court for that coming up in a few weeks.

Anyway after the shop lifting trouble she moved to Texas with her parents. She recently moved back when the baby was about 15 months old. She lived with me and my mom (alternative) for a few months. She met up with a guy online and they had started a long distance relationship while he was overseas with the army. Anyway easter comes up and she goes back to Texas a month to be with family before the boyfriend comes home. She comes back, they are staying together for 2 months. Finally she has her dad bring the baby up 4 days ago.
And her bf picks the next day to tell her you don't have a job, your not helping me, your not helping yourself or your son. I love you and wanna make it work but it's just 2 much on me alone and you need to move out till you prove yourself to me.

So of course she is back with me. She is lazy, a slob, she has taken over my dd bedroom and now dd 4 is sleeping is ds 6 twin bed with him. They both hate that. Hate it!

We have strict rules since the house.gets sugar ants so badly that there is no food or drink allowed in the bedrooms. Well T has broken the rules plenty of times so far, she has everything she owns (clothes) sitting in huge piles in our school room. She doesn't shut doors (we have a dog) nd she doesnt turn off lights.
We have so much we are saving up for right now money is insanely tight on us! We can't afford to provide for her and god son at this time. My neighbor bought him diapers yesterday thank god. I am also 6 months pregnant and I'm so stressed out.

I found a baby turd on top of dd tv stand in her room btw..... How the hell it got up there I have no idea but apparently my god son had a stuffed animal he threw up there and knocked everything over (pic frames and a porcelain tea pot and a basket with a porcelain doll in it) there was even juice from a cup of ramen noodles spilled all over the top of dd desk.... She still hasn't cleaned it up. Ugh

Ok rant over. If you made it this far thank ya for reading. Now a question.

She needs a job before the bf will take her back. She needs to get out of my house so I can restore order. I need to set up a time line for her. But don't know what's a reasonable time line.
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BraydensMama163
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:10 PM
What would you tell someone living with you for an undetermined amount of time? Would you lay out rules? How would go about getting your household on track after something like this?

Btw she still hasn't asked to live here. It was only suppose to be one night while the bf was home from work. Then for some stupid reason he.quit his job. And won't let her back until she's working and can prove she is keeping a job.
JakeandEmmasMom
by Silver Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM
I'm going to be blunt. She isn't your problem. I would tell her that the situation simply isn't working for your family, and they have to come first. The best thing you can do for her is to make her figure this out for herself. Truly.
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Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM

WOW.............IF IT weren't for the baby I would have kicked her out.....

 You are literally stuck with her SO lay down the law. Tell her that she has to abide by your house rules AND as long as she does then you will give her 2 weeks to move out otherwise she has to leave the second she breaks 1 rule

.Milfshake.
by SoNastySoRude on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:15 PM
She would've been out of my home yesterday, but then again I would have never allowed her stay in the first place
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thetrollcat
by Meow on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:19 PM

well I feel my teen at seventeen is freeloading off us also. She thinks because she graduated and now an adult (in her eyes of course) she can do whatever and should have her freedom. I understand that at that age they want to break free but that shouldnt happen on OUR expense and in OUR home where we pay the mortgage.

We simply made a rule this summer after observing her behavior (which we kina let her go see how she behaves with her freedom) that if she is home her focus should be on school or getting a better job. Of course that isnt happening at all. She is busy running around playing and hanging out having fun which is fine but its not realistic and will not help her get where she needs to be so she can move out and become dependent. Sadly youth today do not get it that being an adult means stepping up and becoming responsible for yourself.

So rules are, you have six months to improve your financial situation, whether it means getting a second job or a better job OR go to school... If you are not doing either, you have to move out within six months until you are ready to improve your life so you can become dependent.

Of course she can always come back if she needs help getting launched but right now it looks like she may have to move in with the grandparents.....

RaisinGirl78
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:20 PM
She needs to move back home. If she goes to jail are you going to take care of her kid? Sorry mama quit being a doormat. GL!
BraydensMama163
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:23 PM
My mom said the same thing. She isn't my problem, but I just feel like I'm doing it for the baby. If she doesn't stay here she will be with other friends and they all do drugs. And she has admitted to me that previously she got cussed out by her son's dads mother when she walked in on them smoking a blunt with the baby in the room.

She claims she has a job at this new place but it doesn't open for 3 weeks and the bf says she can't come home till she can prove she can hold a job. But then i heard her talking earlier about how she was trying to get a job at applebees so im just like Wtf.....


Quoting JakeandEmmasMom:

I'm going to be blunt. She isn't your problem. I would tell her that the situation simply isn't working for your family, and they have to come first. The best thing you can do for her is to make her figure this out for herself. Truly.
MomJessto3
by on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell her to fucking clean up the messes she has made and to organize her stuff...i say give her a month and if she hasnt done anything find a womens shelter for her..

bcauseimthemom
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:24 PM

I would tell her that she has two weeks to get her ass out.  Let her know you have done all you can for her and she is just dead weight and she has reduced your home to chaos and you can't live like this anymore.  Let her know that she has 14  days to figure it out.  Go to a shelter, find a job, meet another guy online, beg BF to take her back but you are not putting up with it anymore....

BraydensMama163
by Ruby Member on Jul. 28, 2013 at 5:24 PM
Well the town she has the warrant in said if they grab her ahe has to serve 6 months. I'd be ok keeping her son while she's in jail but her parents would take him. I might be responsible for him for a few weeks till they could make it from Texas to get him but they would take him

Quoting RaisinGirl78:

She needs to move back home. If she goes to jail are you going to take care of her kid? Sorry mama quit being a doormat. GL!
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