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My SD is being such a brat!!!!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My SD lives with us full time and has since she was almost 2. Her bio mom pays us 300 in CS monthy. We take care of her with our household income and put the CS in her savings along with money we put in ourselves. Over the years we have saved up a little over 70 thousand for a car and her schooling mostly from the CS payments. Her 16th birthday is coming up in about 2 months. She and I have been planning a really nice celebration at the house, shopping around for used cars, and to renovate our basement to an apartment (she's staying home for college) and

However the money we put in her savings is gone. We've depleted all of our funds and have to use the majority of hers. My mother has been sick 5 times in the last year. Between the flight costs and me leaving my job to care for her, everything we have saved for is gone. It's been very lean around here and we had explained the situation to her. When we sat her down last night to explain she wouldn't be getting the car she had hoped for or the basement renovated, but that we still had just enough money to throw her a nice party. She flipped on us, but directed most of the hate to me. She called me a theif because we had taken money out of her savings account. She said I pm a gold digger and I'm only with her father for money. Even though for a while I was the one running his practice.

I understand she's upset but we can not do anything about it now. We are slowly recovering and eventually we will be able to continued as planed. I thought she would understand things happen, but she's being a complete brat and quite frankly a bitch. At this point she's not going to get anything for her birthday since she can't be grateful.

BTW since most of you can not read. We discussed that we would be taking money out of her savings. We had hoped to be able to refund the money by now, but we are unable to do so. Life happens.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:29 AM
Replies (131-140):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:04 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, no it won't hope will pay for half, up to 6k. She will have to stay on campus her first year. We are looking at almost 20 thousand out of pocket and that's with hope.

Quoting fliptopz4:




Quoting Anonymous:

Yea, I see that now. I made that mistake a few years back when she told me she wanted to go to UGA but she didn't think we could afford it. We thought if she had a real hope of being able to go, she would work hard for the grades so should could actually attend. It's worked, by now it's backfired.



Quoting Anonymous:

child support is supposed to go toward the daily care of the child for whom it's paid for. I would have never let her on to the fact that you are saving it for her..Now she feels entitled to that money and you have to pay for the mistake. 

I really don't know what to tell you.

do you live in state? Because HOPE will pay for the majority of UGA.




Wait till you do your Fafsa, you'll be able to afford more then you think.But even if your kid gets a full scholarship to college, it still cost you an arm and leg. A lot of kids go to a community college the 1st two years to cut down on the expense.

I understand her being disappointed, but by 16 she should have an idea of how the world works and that you tried to be prepared for her college and car, but things happen and plans change. I would hope she matures a lot in the next two years, because I would be worried about turning her lose in Athens on her own. Also at 16 shes old enough to get a job and put her own money back and buy her own car. Who said parents owe a kid a car?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:04 AM
I find what you did to be deplorable. You are the brat in my opinion.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Do you have any bio kids?  Did you touch their savings or just sks?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Yes. She hasn't applied yet. She's taken her SAT for practice, but she's still has a lot of improvement. I think in a year with her tutoring she will be ready to take and do very well on it.

Quoting Roxygurl:

Ouch all around.



I can see your side and hers but she's never going to see your side even though ultimately the money was to use as y'all saw fit.



So is there any money at all for college? Did she get into the college she wanted?
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't feel you have stolen anything from her.  You used your money to support her while saving the money that was meant to support her.  I didn't go to college my parents couldn't afford it at the time and neither could I.  After 18 it is the childs responsibility if the parents can help then so be it if not that doesn't mean they are bad parents.   Too many kids now a days feel entitled just  because they feel they didn't get to choose if they were born.  Ridiculous.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:07 AM
She's our only.

Quoting Anonymous:

Do you have any bio kids?  Did you touch their savings or just sks?

Maevelyn
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Yeah it's great that you saved that much and had it but child support istn't money paid to the child. It's money paid to the parent caring for the child to deffer the cost of raising a child. So it wasn't really "owed" to her. Good luck getting her to understand that now though. 

Kimbyann
by Ruby Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:08 AM
2-3k for a party? Wth?

I never knew people paid so much for bday parties until I joined cafemom. My kid hasn't had a bday yet but when I was young my mom never spent over $150 . Lol


Quoting Anonymous:

We will not be touching what we need for her first year of college. That means at least 20 thousand is off limits.her car will cost us 10-12 thousand as it is and a nice party at our house will be tween 2-3 thousanlike I said, just enough.



Quoting macbudsmom:

If she still has $35,000 left, why do you say, "We still had just enough money to throw her a nice party?"





Quoting Anonymous:

No, it works out to a little under 4 thousand a month. We used a little over half. Almost half of that was used for her private school and tutoring. Like I said, it's not like I shopped the money away. It went to suportug our household.





Quoting macbudsmom:

Ok... Thats still over $7,000/month...  What the hell kind of crazy household bills did you have that you needed $7000/month on top of dh's income?  Living beyond our means are we???





Quoting Anonymous:

This was over a 9 month period. Not sure were you got 2 months.







DH owns a small local law practice. I was working for Blue Bell buses. They let me go after my FMLA was up.







Quoting macbudsmom:

How did you spend 70 thousand in 2 months???  Have you and dh stopped working?











Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:10 AM

Hey the petty $300 is to raise her. You obviously kept a roof over her head, food for her, clothes, medical, school things, you have every right to use that money. Just because at that moment it did not go for an expense to the brat, does not mean anything bc you are raising her.  Since when did child support go directly to the kids and nothing towards the care of the child.

Maevelyn
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 11:11 AM

If she really wants to go she will find a way. 

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Anonymous:

Lol, no it won't hope will pay for half, up to 6k. She will have to stay on campus her first year. We are looking at almost 20 thousand out of pocket and that's with hope.

Quoting fliptopz4:




Quoting Anonymous:

Yea, I see that now. I made that mistake a few years back when she told me she wanted to go to UGA but she didn't think we could afford it. We thought if she had a real hope of being able to go, she would work hard for the grades so should could actually attend. It's worked, by now it's backfired.



Quoting Anonymous:

child support is supposed to go toward the daily care of the child for whom it's paid for. I would have never let her on to the fact that you are saving it for her..Now she feels entitled to that money and you have to pay for the mistake. 

I really don't know what to tell you.

do you live in state? Because HOPE will pay for the majority of UGA.




Wait till you do your Fafsa, you'll be able to afford more then you think.But even if your kid gets a full scholarship to college, it still cost you an arm and leg. A lot of kids go to a community college the 1st two years to cut down on the expense.

I understand her being disappointed, but by 16 she should have an idea of how the world works and that you tried to be prepared for her college and car, but things happen and plans change. I would hope she matures a lot in the next two years, because I would be worried about turning her lose in Athens on her own. Also at 16 shes old enough to get a job and put her own money back and buy her own car. Who said parents owe a kid a car?


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