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*update* What was her reasoning?!? Am I flipping out over nothing??? (poll)

Posted by Anonymous
  • 514 Replies
1 mom liked this



Question: Your take on the situation


Let it go. Her house, her rules.

Tell her you don't like it (knowing that she will turn it into a debate on speakerphone)

Text her so there's no way for the kids to hear


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 1000

View Results

Okey dokey, here goes...

DD6 and DS4 went to visit grandma for 3 weeks. This was their first trip alone. I went with and stayed with them for the first 4 days.

Day 2 we go shopping. Mom shows DD 2 bathing suits (we brought her own). One was a 1 piece, the other was a bikini. She asks her which one she liked and I said "Absolutely not" to the bikini. She debated with me about my reasons etc. Then told DD "Well, mom said no" and put it back and bought the other one. (So now 2 bathing suits)

So... it's been about 10 days since I left and I was told yesterday by mom how tan DD is getting, etc. "And she's even finally getting tan on her belly from her new bikini".

My jaw hit the floor. I didn't want to fight with her because I was on speakerphone, so all I said (semi-lightly) was "Well, you can wear it after she leaves because she knows that's not coming home with her". If she hadn't known my stand on it and bought one, I would have been a little annoyed, but not said anything, and just tossed it out when she got home.

The only reason I can think of that she would really buy it is either to A) assort her authority over me so the kids would listen to her, or B) really just didn't care how I felt about it. Either one pisses me off.

Should I tell her? What should I say? Maybe in a text, since I'm ALWAYS on speakerphone?

Or am I just overreacting?

Well, I talked to her Monday night. I wasn't planning on bringing up the conversation at that time because I was driving, and had people in the car that really didn't need to hear that. But she asked me "You're not mad that I got her the bikini, are you?"

So I said "Yeah, actually I'm upset about the whole thing. I don't understand why you would have bought it after I already said no. You completely went against the one and only rule I had". She went on to tell me how my cousin (18) saw it and thought it was cute, and that it was on sale so she couldn't pass it up. She went on to say that "I'm sorry, I won't send her back with it" and then the kids wanted to talk to me, so the conversation ended. I think what she took from the it was that I was upset that she bought it - that the issue was the bikini - but not that she went against my rules.


Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:36 AM
6 moms liked this

over-reacting? No...You should def say something.

by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:36 AM
2 moms liked this
Is this the first time your mom has done something with your kids knowing you don't approve?
by Gold Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:37 AM
4 moms liked this
I would just voice (again) how I feel about it and throw it out when she gets home. Some things just are not worth the argument. Learn the lesson and move on.
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:38 AM
45 moms liked this

I would stop and think, because your dd may have ask for it after you left because she wanted to get a tan on her belly. It could be something harmless. Hopefully "mom" will not pack it when its time to come home, if she does just toss it.

No offense but parents these days are so worried about everyone usurping their authority they cant see , it was a grandma spoiling a grandchild , thats what they are supposed to do.

by Ruby Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:38 AM
45 moms liked this
Flipping out over nothing. Its a bikini for petes sakes. It is not the coming of the apocalypse.
Let granma do her thing.
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:39 AM
43 moms liked this

 I would tell your mom again. Who cares if it is over speakerphone, lol? And it should not be a debate. YOU are the mom. And if your mom can't respect your wishes, then she cant have alone time with the kids. I recently went through this with my IL's. The issue isnt necessarily the bikini, it is the fact she over stepped her boundaries and went over your head. That doesnt send a great message to the kids either.

by Silver Member on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:39 AM
25 moms liked this
Wait until your kids are home, then call her and tell her how inappropriate that was. Don't do it WHILE the kids are with her. She will take her anger with you out on them (by defying more of your parenting rules and confusing your kids further).
by on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:40 AM
3 moms liked this
I agree with you. She had no right disrespecting your wishes.
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:40 AM
6 moms liked this

Clearly she just didn't give a shit about your thoughts/feelings of it. I would have been freaking out more than that. What a bitch.

by Anonymous 5 on Jul. 29, 2013 at 8:41 AM
1 mom liked this
I would be upset, but only because you had already told her how you felt about them.. and yes I would definitely say something!
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