normal for 12 yo boy to be too afraid to be alone at all?
my ss is 12. He is being treated for anxitey. He has a sister who is 16 mos older than he is that has always been held responsible for him. She has to watch him, make sure he doesnt do things he shouldnt, if he gets in trouble its always her that is in trouble for 'letting' him do it. He has always been treated like he is 4... NOW, he is anxious about everything that people expect of him. IE doing homework, studing for tests, doing activities that are new etc... but his mom, who by nature and profession, is a manager, always is making sure everything is done for him.
Now he is entering jr high and has to be alone in the morning between the time we all leave for work and the time the bus comes (one hour). Mom is making a big deal about what we all are 'going to have planned for him'. As in getting a sitter. He is so scared to stay alone he wants a sitter. His sister goes in early this yr so it will be the first time she isnt there. My idea is to take the remainder of the summer and start leaving him for 10/15 minutes here and there to START giving him the coping skills he never has gotten up till now and hopefully have him ready at some point soon... For the love of pete, he could be babysitting himself at this point! Its not even about convience but more getting this child ready for LIFE! No one has ever given him the skills to start being a LITTLE independent. She is freaking out that he will be scared.... And by the way, we all get along and respect each other very well but its still awkward when there are things we disagree about. The 2 steps and the 2 bio parents of these 2 kids have all always had and equal say and no one trumps another.
DH (their dad) agrees with me and we've talked about it but she just cant get past that he isnt ready. Well, he's not ready bc no one has ever LET him get ready!
Should we just go with it and hope his sitter isnt in his class and the school doesnt end up making fun of him or do what we think and probably cause some waves??
ya know.... I might be totally screwing up the great 4 way parenting thing we have going, but I'm texting bm's husband (the sd) right now to tactfully talk about this between us. his wife and my dh are more on the take care of him till he's 40 page and sd and I are a little more on the same page with this one.....
This could go one way or the other! *fingers crossed*