I am so disgusted with my weight. It is so disgusting. I am pregnant, and it's not the pregnancy that made me over weight.
Nope - not at all ! In fact, I have gained 130 lbs in 3 years !!! 20 of that is pregnancy. I was a beautiful 170 lbs. That was down from 291!! I worked my ass off to lose all of that weight.
Below is a picture of me on September 2nd, 2010. The day of my first date with my now husband.
I won't even post a now picture, because if I get bashed, I will probably have an emotional breakdown.Just imagine 130 lbs added
Over a period of 3 years, I went from a very active job, to a desk job, stopped eating super healthy, and started eating take out and fast food again - I stopped working out. I just got caught up with life and didn't take care of myself.
Now I'm 27 weeks pregnant, so I'm just going to gain more. I am so disgusted with myself. Being obese has led to so many other health problems with this pregnancy. It is all that I can do, to not breakdown in tears every day when I look in the mirror.
I told my husband that after the baby shower next week, and we start setting up the house for the baby ( baby proofing, putting together the crib and such ) that I want him to bring my treadmill upstairs for me. It's in the basement. My doctor said there is nothing stopping me physically from walking.
I asked my doctor about switching back to only drinking water and the occassional glass of milk, juice or soda, and she prescribed me a new prenatal vitamin, to ensure the baby is getting enough calcium and told me to go for it, just not to exceed 100 oz a day.
My other goal, non weight related, is to start wearing make up again. I believe that if I can force myself to feel better about myself, I will have more motivation to lose weight.
I plan to go hard core with the weight loss as soon as the baby is born. My nutritionist is going to help me come up with a diet that will be healthy for the baby while I breastfeed, and still encourage weight loss - while fufilling those WANTS that we all have.
So those are my first two steps. When I watch the news, I plan to walk on the treadmill and I'm switching back to water only. I tipped the scale at 301 today. If I can help it, I don't plan on getting any heavier with this pregnancy. I am going to do my best to burn this fat off.