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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

not exactly a confession...

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

But out of all my groups this was the most appropriate one. Im gonna make this short as i can cause i know u all prob dont wanna read a book.. me and hubby been married 3 yrs have 2 kids they r 7 and 2 (oldest was from previous marriage but his dad isn't in his life. another story. but just sayin he is with us all the time and calls my hubby daddy). we have been renting the whole time. i am 27 he is 23. we made decent money. he just got a new job making a good bit more. we are ready for our first home. we rent an old trailer from my grandparents. well over a yr ago we started lookin. we were stupid didnt know anything and i got over excited insisted on gettin first house we looked at. my dh said he wanted it too but him mom was totally against it and not nice about it. we were days from closing and he decides he wants to back out. i was devastated and angry cause i felt his mom had gotten to him. i agreed to sit with her and have her explain her reasons (too small, only one bathroom, etc. and she showed me other homes for same price that were better). i realized she was right. so we got out of it. i wanted a break from house huntin cause as u all know it's stressful and a hassle.  well, a yr later we have enuff money saved up for good down payment. i have been educated on house hunting and we start looking again. after a few months we find the one we want it fits everything we want. except its not in the school district we'd prefer BUT our kids go to private school so it's not that big of an issue to us.  we would have liked one in better district just in case one day we couldnt afford private. but had agreed that would not stop us from gettina  house we both wanted.. ok so no prob right.. wrong. we knew his mom would be upset so i told him go ahead give her a heads up so she isn't shocked when she finds we are makin an offer. well, she went ballistic. she never text me tho so today i text her just said i love u and i am sorry u are unhappy with our choice but we both feel its right for us. well, then i got it.. she text me like a book saying all these things she doesn't like bout our choices we have made things that are opinions but she insists they are facts. she said she knows my dh doesn't agree with me on any of these choices and is just givin me my way cause he doesnt wanna fight.. i politely said i didnt think so. but i'd talk to him and make sure.. cause i'd never go against my hsuband. obviously i wouldnt because we backed out of buyin the last house bc he didnt want to ! i could go on and on bout the things she said.very hurtful things.. she ended it with "if u don't take my advice and back out then at least i know where i stand with u. and when u come over dont pretend u love or respect me cause if u dont listen to me,then idon't." she also told me that i was makin her son make bad life choices..

I was (and still am kidna) so excited about making an offer on this house. i can just see our kids growin up there and makin it our home. but obviously if she doesn't get her way she is gonna make my life hell. or try to..and my dh is a mamas boy. she has her ways of making him sway.so im afraid he will back out cause she will get to him..i am just sad. any advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:02 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:58 AM

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:59 AM

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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:01 AM

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:04 AM

I don't understand why your mil has a say so at all in what you two do when it comes to your finances. if you want to buy a house, buy a damn house. she doesn't know her place- put her in it!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:05 AM
Thanks I like your advice. They haven't even seen it. They automatically hate it cause it's not in HER preferred school district. Which is important if they attend public school. But they do not. I even looked at a house she chose knowing we couldn't afford it. Everyone wants that district so the houses are overpriced not to mention 30 min away from our jobs and kids schools. So I was open to her suggestions. They just aren't for us. I posted a few pix of house

Quoting Bleacher-mom:

The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.

justpeachy71904
by peachy on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:19 AM
Just my two sense... Take schools into consideration now. My sister didn't and she is regretting it. She has to take my niece out of the district the schools she lives by are that bad. just because you love a house and it has a pool doesn't make it a great house. Remember that

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks I like your advice. They haven't even seen it. They automatically hate it cause it's not in HER preferred school district. Which is important if they attend public school. But they do not. I even looked at a house she chose knowing we couldn't afford it. Everyone wants that district so the houses are overpriced not to mention 30 min away from our jobs and kids schools. So I was open to her suggestions. They just aren't for us. I posted a few pix of house



Quoting Bleacher-mom:

The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.

Bleacher-mom
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:28 AM

Cute! Just make sure to have a house inspector inspect it first.


Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks I like your advice. They haven't even seen it. They automatically hate it cause it's not in HER preferred school district. Which is important if they attend public school. But they do not. I even looked at a house she chose knowing we couldn't afford it. Everyone wants that district so the houses are overpriced not to mention 30 min away from our jobs and kids schools. So I was open to her suggestions. They just aren't for us. I posted a few pix of house

Quoting Bleacher-mom:

The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 3:51 AM

we didnt know  it had a pool when we went to look..and actually im not so in love w/a pool. it will be nice, but im worried about upkeep. and i see what u are saying about districts. but the school my children go to is private u dont have to be in any certain district..she just wants us in that district in case .. but them at this school they love and me and my husbadn went to and love is a priority. so i dont think thatll happen.. i know when we have the inspection if somethin is majorly wrong like bad plumbing electrical or foundation issues, then we will not want it. we just made an offer and waiting to see what they say.

Quoting justpeachy71904:

Just my two sense... Take schools into consideration now. My sister didn't and she is regretting it. She has to take my niece out of the district the schools she lives by are that bad. just because you love a house and it has a pool doesn't make it a great house. Remember that

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks I like your advice. They haven't even seen it. They automatically hate it cause it's not in HER preferred school district. Which is important if they attend public school. But they do not. I even looked at a house she chose knowing we couldn't afford it. Everyone wants that district so the houses are overpriced not to mention 30 min away from our jobs and kids schools. So I was open to her suggestions. They just aren't for us. I posted a few pix of house



Quoting Bleacher-mom:

The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 6:06 AM
We will definitely! We should know wed if they accept our offer.

Quoting Bleacher-mom:

Cute! Just make sure to have a house inspector inspect it first.



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks I like your advice. They haven't even seen it. They automatically hate it cause it's not in HER preferred school district. Which is important if they attend public school. But they do not. I even looked at a house she chose knowing we couldn't afford it. Everyone wants that district so the houses are overpriced not to mention 30 min away from our jobs and kids schools. So I was open to her suggestions. They just aren't for us. I posted a few pix of house



Quoting Bleacher-mom:

The type of person I am I would turn it around on her. "Hey MIL, I'm at KFC and need to know what to order" "Hey MIL, what type of pads should I buy, here let me send you a picture of what I'm looking at" "Hey MIL, I need to know what nightie to wear tonight for your son. the black one, the red one or should I just go completely nude"

First, take a step back and make sure that the house isn't just one that you like, but it is a sound financial decision. I have a great relationship with my in-laws so when we went house hunting they went with us to look for things we may have missed. In fact there was one house that I LOVED but FIL said there seemed to be some issues with it. So we didn't get it, and I'm glad we didn't. We found out later on because we knew the people who bought it that the wiring was messed up badly. I trust my in-laws, however, there have been times that we haven't agreed on issues. Namely me homeschooling. But I stood my ground and after a while they have accepted it.

There could be a number of issues. She just honestly thinks it a bad idea, maybe that particular house or the timing, and she may have a good point. Or she can't stand the thought of her son trusting your judgement or hers and is trying to gain control. Or she is hurt that you guys have not included her in a big decision in you life and she is hurt and is lashing out. Either way, stand your ground and be respectful.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 6:09 AM
I totally agree. And she doesn't have a say so per se. But she will give ultimatums and I'm sure she's gonna start Callin him and get in his head an make him on her side. Then I'm stuck. Cause I wouldn't go against him. But I'd be furious if he changed his mind just not to make her mad

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't understand why your mil has a say so at all in what you two do when it comes to your finances. if you want to buy a house, buy a damn house. she doesn't know her place- put her in it!

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