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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Daycare not accommodating...*edit*

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:04 AM
  • 135 Replies



Ok I'm coming out to the cafemom confession page. Yes I know I'm going to get eaten alive. But if I can make just one more parents journey better i have to do it. It's a hard journey that has been filled with tears, and sadness. I just want to save one more parent from the pain I'm facing. I never once wanted this. I never wished this on my child. This is not a road I want my child to go down but we are here. And I will be beside my child as long as he wants me. 



Bex started with wearing boys undies at potty training. Liking super heros. Bex always played hard with the boys...

then Bex started wearing all boys clothes. Then asking me during bath time to call Bex my prince not a princess... Then Bex in one of our baths together asked me if Bex could be my son... I was shocked and said but your a girl.. Bex kept asking. Then the asking for a penis started... Then September last year Bex asked to get a short haircut. Then after Christmas the week after I found a cupon for a cheep cut. I'm a hairstylist but did not want to do it in case Bex hated it.... Bex loved it. 

At kindergarten shots our doc mentioned that Bex might be trans. He had a talkwith bex where bex told the doctor that he is a boy. that he wants a penis. that he is not a girl and goes bybex. I knew already. But my DH was not reddy. Then we got a referral to a ped, she noticed Bex was trans right away, the ped asked Bex simallar questions the GP did and he answered the same way. We got blood work to check for chromosome disorders... 


I have a female to male trans 5 year old child. Daycare is not accepting ans we are starting kindy in a month. The head teacher is catholic and its just not working. Thursday a boy called Bex a girl. Bex then choked the kid We spent all Friday in the ER. We have referral to the trans clinic and infant psych. I fel like my child is broken. I feel so hurt. I want my child whole. Bex will only be attending Monday we'd Friday at school. I can't afford to pull him out as we get subsidy and they cover full cost. I can't afford to pay the full month if Bex is not attending. Nor can I take that much time from taking care of my mom (who is dying) I'm sorry I just need to vent.

I also blog at www.mytransgenderedchild.blogspot.com


here is an email I just recieved from the teacher



This is to reply to your previous letter re: the daycare not being able to accommodate Rebekah (Bex) in her condition.  The daycare is more than willing to call her "Bex", but unfortunately, we will not be able to accommodate telling other children that she is a "He".  Some children, along with the staff have been calling her "Bex", but with the name change suddenly, it is still a "slip of the tongue" when we call her Rebekah.  As I said to you earlier that she seems to still be a little bit confused herself.  She still calls herself "She" and not long ago, we were all talking about prince and princesses and she said she wanted to be a princess.  Many other occasions when she would talk about being a "girl".  And from my observation: I found that she seems to like to call herself "He" when she is unhappy.  But, this is not a professional opinion as I do not have that kind of knowledge.  This is merely from my own observation and other staff that works with her.  Again with her sisters being around, they too also calls her Rebekah, rather than "Bex".
 
I hope this help a little with what you are not able to see when they are here at the Daycare.
 
Again K******, we will try to help you out in anyway possible when we can and when it is not to affect other children.

*edit* 

bex being transgendered has nothing to do with his future sexuality. Bex can chose whatever sexual preference when he is older. 

Transgendered is a term for gender dismophic disorder.  We are on a wait list to see more specialists in the field. 

Where I live paediatric doctors are specialist. You see a family doctor for everything. 

Bex was seen at our local children's hospital where they said he is the most self assure child and that I'm doing everything right. Pushing Bex to wear girl clothes and be called she will cause more mental health problems. Bex admitted to the doctor that he self absues after people call him she and a girl. 


Now Bex and I are going out for a fun day! Off to the book store and lunch out. Then off to the spray park. 

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:07 AM

I've got nothing, sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this
This is stupid. Kids do weird things. It's a stage. Make believe. My daughter did it for a few weeks, she's still a girl, and she gave up the whole "I'm a boy" thing after a while and never mentioned it again.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Well hopefully your daughter gets over it soon or she is going to have to miserable life.
FlyingHottie
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:16 AM


It's been 2+ years. It's not a phase 

Quoting Anonymous:

This is stupid. Kids do weird things. It's a stage. Make believe. My daughter did it for a few weeks, she's still a girl, and she gave up the whole "I'm a boy" thing after a while and never mentioned it again.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:17 AM
1 mom liked this
This. I wouldn't tell my child it's wrong or do anything to discourage it. I also wouldn't do anything to encourage it or ask anyone to make any accommodations. I would just let the kid be a kid, why does the 'issue' need a label right now?

Quoting Anonymous:

This is stupid. Kids do weird things. It's a stage. Make believe. My daughter did it for a few weeks, she's still a girl, and she gave up the whole "I'm a boy" thing after a while and never mentioned it again.

Mrs.Bryant1201
by Platinum Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:19 AM
2 moms liked this
Best of luck for you and bex.*hugs*
unspecified42
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:19 AM
7 moms liked this
From the day cares letter, it sounds like things aren't as cut-and-dry as you think they are. It sounds like the day care is being very reasonable in calling her by her chosen name. Not referring to her as a boy when she herself doesn't always self-identify that was isn't unreasonable in my opinion.

It sounds like your child is confused about herself. Maybe she's transsexual (and in that case I applaud your acceptance of her), but if she hasn't decided what she is I don't see the point in launching her into the opposite gender role. I would give it time. Let her sort it out and decide how she feels without pushing the issue.
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MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:21 AM
6 moms liked this

 Shame on the doctor for encouraging a 5 YEAR OLD to become transgendered.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Is there a chromosone disorder?
twicethemomjess
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:23 AM
Support him as much as you can. He needs it. And good luck, I know its hard
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