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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Idk what to do about my relationship, please no bashing

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM
  • 29 Replies
           
       Please, any advice you have. I have always been a 'free spirit' so to say. I have been dating my sons father (ill just call him df since we were engaged)  for 4 years, we live together. A few months into our relationship I noticed he was doing some questionable texting with his ex, etc...doesn't bother me, I'm not too jealous of a person, but the erasing the text and whatnot was the problem. He stopped for awhile so I let it go....I have done things back to him, I didn't do the things to get back at him, but they were started due to my feelings about his transgressions. Every time something happens, he promises to change and it never sticks. Eventually, I find out some more things he is lying about, I tell him idk if I want to be with him. This is a year ago. I started talking to my ex, idk why I just did.i suppose it was an emotional affair even though my df and I were not sleeping together, wearing rings, or even decided if we want to work it out or not.

Well a lot of other stuff happened and then everything was out in the open, or so I thought. I've recently received word that he has seen a lawyer about filing for a custody agreement even though he said he wanted to keep this out if court if we don't work it out. He has a secret app on his phone for hiding pictures and texts. He is telling his side of things to all our community, even though we agreed to keep it under wraps. I'm sure he has taken me off the life insurance for him, which is kind of a big deal because if anything were to happen to him I know his parents would fight for custody, and I would be exhausted trying to keep up with the court fees. He says he wants to work things out yet he is doing all this behind my back. How can we get back to working on our relationship if he can't even be real and say he is doing these things? Some he has outright lied about others are just omissions .  I only know about these things from different people in our community letting tit slip or coming to me for my side of things (of which nobody knows because of several reasons, mostly I don't care what people think, I'm good at being the bad guy) 

personally, I have always been happiest in an open relationship, which I have never been in with my df. I
obviously trust is a big issue in an open relationship, I just don't know how to get trust back to even think about trying to work things out with him. 
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Ummm ur the mother how would life insurance give his parents a right to file custody???
Continued
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:42 PM


It wouldn't give them the right to file custody, but if the life insurance goes to them, they will make sure I do as they say so they will give me money for my son, and if I do not do what they want they will file for custody. I do not trust those people at all. Hopefully nothing ever happens to my sons father but if it did I know they would cause drama

Quoting Anonymous:

Ummm ur the mother how would life insurance give his parents a right to file custody???



Continued
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:46 PM

By IBy I

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:47 PM
3 moms liked this
He is building a case against you to blind side you. Telling you he is working things out but making arrangements to break it off.

If he is just putting eggs in a basket as they say there are consequences for this. I guess you need to get your stuff together too and prepare.

I would say talk to him but if you do say you know his process will just speed up if he is planning on leaving you.

I hope I am wrong and you guys can work things out.
mommabee1
by Bronze Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Um don't ever ask for no bashing please bc no matter if you ask is my puppy cute? There will always be shit. And make sure all your grammer is correct or you'll get shit for that to.
Mittenmommie
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:49 PM
2 moms liked this
Honestly it sounds like a bunch of drama. Go file custody papers and do your own thing. I will tell you from past experience, if he is hiding things it won't get any better. Get out while you can and just make it a clean break.
Supervane
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:51 PM
2 moms liked this
If he doesn't want to be by your side anymore, then why do you....?
Continued
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:51 PM


That's what I am afraid of, I have a lot of leverage to use against him but I wouldn't do that until he forces me. I just wish I could trust the person I'm supposed to be coparenting with. I thought at least when it comes to our son we could work it out. I guess I should start preparing. :(

Quoting Anonymous:

He is building a case against you to blind side you. Telling you he is working things out but making arrangements to break it off.

If he is just putting eggs in a basket as they say there are consequences for this. I guess you need to get your stuff together too and prepare.

I would say talk to him but if you do say you know his process will just speed up if he is planning on leaving you.

I hope I am wrong and you guys can work things out.



TaughtTot
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM
2 moms liked this

There is way too much wrong with this.  You need to go get educated on laws hun because the only way a grandparent can literally take your child away is if you are an unfit parent, they have to prove that at no expense to you.  If you are deemed unfit, then you have other issues that you should be worrying about.

Also, life insurance, whatever, as long as your child is beneficiary you should not worry.  

He filed for custody, yet you live together? Not smart on his end actually because it will come out in court that you have been living together and in which case, you go fight for 50/50.  You don't need a lawyer for that.

You two need to not be living together, this seems too messy and obviously like it's not working out for you.

Continued
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Thanks for the honest advice. I guess I need to get my head out of the clouds

Quoting Mittenmommie:

Honestly it sounds like a bunch of drama. Go file custody papers and do your own thing. I will tell you from past experience, if he is hiding things it won't get any better. Get out while you can and just make it a clean break.



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