Please, any advice you have. I have always been a 'free spirit' so to say. I have been dating my sons father (ill just call him df since we were engaged) for 4 years, we live together. A few months into our relationship I noticed he was doing some questionable texting with his ex, etc...doesn't bother me, I'm not too jealous of a person, but the erasing the text and whatnot was the problem. He stopped for awhile so I let it go....I have done things back to him, I didn't do the things to get back at him, but they were started due to my feelings about his transgressions. Every time something happens, he promises to change and it never sticks. Eventually, I find out some more things he is lying about, I tell him idk if I want to be with him. This is a year ago. I started talking to my ex, idk why I just did.i suppose it was an emotional affair even though my df and I were not sleeping together, wearing rings, or even decided if we want to work it out or not.
Well a lot of other stuff happened and then everything was out in the open, or so I thought. I've recently received word that he has seen a lawyer about filing for a custody agreement even though he said he wanted to keep this out if court if we don't work it out. He has a secret app on his phone for hiding pictures and texts. He is telling his side of things to all our community, even though we agreed to keep it under wraps. I'm sure he has taken me off the life insurance for him, which is kind of a big deal because if anything were to happen to him I know his parents would fight for custody, and I would be exhausted trying to keep up with the court fees. He says he wants to work things out yet he is doing all this behind my back. How can we get back to working on our relationship if he can't even be real and say he is doing these things? Some he has outright lied about others are just omissions . I only know about these things from different people in our community letting tit slip or coming to me for my side of things (of which nobody knows because of several reasons, mostly I don't care what people think, I'm good at being the bad guy)
personally, I have always been happiest in an open relationship, which I have never been in with my df. I
obviously trust is a big issue in an open relationship, I just don't know how to get trust back to even think about trying to work things out with him.
on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:36 PM