Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Go To Bed Without Dinner!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 73 Replies

My child refused to eat a dinner that he usually likes. Never has an issue with it. Not one of his favorites but he's never complained. Tonight he said he wasn't hungry and he didn't want that for dinner and he wasn't going to eat it for dinner. He had 45 minutes before bed to eat it. He choose not to after countless warnings that he would be put to bed hungry if he didn't eat. He choose not to eat. 

So at 7 he was put to bed. At 7:30 he cried. DH went in and tried to talk to him DS wouldn't speak. At 8 he did it again and I told him that if he wasn't going to speak to us or say anything or answer any questions we weren't going to go back in there. At 8:20 he started back up again. DH got his panties all in a twist because "Kids shouldn't go to bed hungry and its cruel not to go in there even if he's being a brat" I disagree. He was warned he choose not to eat then he was warned about not speaking and using his words and choose not to speak. I'm tired of DH babying our kid all the time! He gets away with murder all the time because DH thinks I'm being mean because I give DS 2 chances and follow through on the 3rd with punishments. DH thinks that a 7 year old can't respond to that. I think thats bullshit and I'm sick of DH and DS behaviors! I'm tired of being the bad guy all the time because I want to be able to follow through and not have a kid who's a huge brat all the time! 

DH ended up going in there after him and I fought for 5 minutes about how he's babying our kid and I'm being mean. Brought his dinner and let him eat and he never had to say a word or answer any questions about why he was crying or what he wanted. (DS doesn't use his words when he's perfectly capable to do so and it pisses me off not to mention how every person outside of us has to deal with because he stone walls when he doesn't want to answer someone) 

WTF am I wrong? Am I a huge meanie? Or is my husband babying our kid and turning him into an entitled till brat that will use tantrums to get what he wants? Where do you sit on the fence? What would you have done?

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:43 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Bump

Kaelaasmom
by Katie on Jul. 30, 2013 at 8:58 PM
1 mom liked this

 I think it's wrong to send a kid to bed hungry. I would have at least made my daughter a sandwich or bowl of cereal.

CafeMom Tickers
thefiregoddess
by Ruby Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
I see both sides.

However.. im not always hungry on a set schedule and I don't anticipate a child to be either.

Any kiddo is welcome to an apple and yogurt with granola if they choose no dinner here.

Then again, I tend to make what everyone wants.. because we all like different things.

Bumpity for you.
emandab
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:00 PM
5 moms liked this
Wow he totally played your dh. He's 7 for Pete's sake not three. You are right, dh is wrong.
besosfantasies
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:02 PM

 This is a tough one.. we always tell ds to eat what is cooked or no snacks and you'll be hungry later. Thankfully he likes everything we like, so we've never had an issue. However he has been hungry right before bed a few times and I REFUSE to send a child to bed hungry.

On the other hand.. you gave him multiple chances. Then when he's in bed, he cries and refuses to talk to you. I say he played you. At his age, he knows what he's doing. Heck, our 4.5 year old knows what he's doing lol. TBH, I'd take away snacks for a few days for that behavior. But that's how we parent.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:02 PM
2 moms liked this

Your husband undermined you and taught your son that it's okay to mistreat and manipulate the both of you. He's plenty old enough to know that he either eats or starves for the night, he knew EXACTLY what was going on. Why else would he cry loud enough to get the both of you into his room over and over again? He was doing it on purpose, he was manipulating you to get attention and then refused to speak in hopes of guilting you into giving him his way. It worked. You told him to eat or go hungry and put him to bed. THAT is where he should have stayed for the rest of the night, your husband shouldn't have even checked on him when he started in with the crying. So yes, he was 100% in the wrong here.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:02 PM

We don't live the kind of life style where things can go wasted all the time. Its not like I gave him something that he hated it was home made mac and cheese. Something he doesn't love but usually gobbles down without a word and goes on his way. The older he gets the more stubborn he gets about what he wants when he wants it and how he's going to get it. I think feeding into that behavior is only going to decide the kind of person he's going to be. 

Beyond that we've only been faced with him not ever eating once before and he changed his tune when we sent him to go brush his teeth. This time he took it further. 

Quoting Kaelaasmom:

 I think it's wrong to send a kid to bed hungry. I would have at least made my daughter a sandwich or bowl of cereal.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:03 PM
1 mom liked this

My thoughts as well. I read this and mentally thought, "He played his dad like a fiddle."


Quoting emandab:

Wow he totally played your dh. He's 7 for Pete's sake not three. You are right, dh is wrong.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:03 PM

I offer my kids reasonable tasting and nutritious food. If they choose not to eat they know when the next meal is scheduled.   It is their choice to eat or not eat.   It will not hurt a child if they choose to go without one meal.  I bet you will see this behavior again, if he got a little hungry then he would learn and eat without giving you issues.   I would not take my child another meal, force them to eat or ground them from anything (Other then additional food) if they choose not to eat a meal.  

chrissara1011
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this

My grandmother always told me you never send a child to bed hungry...if something happens in the night all you will ever remember is that baby (child) was hungry when it happened...overly dramatic yes but I could never do it....there could of been something going on that the child was just not ready to talk with you about...stressful things have been know to affect ones appetite in an adult so yo know it can affect a child. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)