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I don't know what to do...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 42 Replies
I'm so sad. My husband and I have almost nonexistent sex life. Lately I've been lucky for twice a month. I would like it at minimum once a week. I've tried talking to him. He's response is that he doesn't know. He says he lays there at night and thinks about it, then he says he decides to try tomorrow. And the cycle repeats itself. I'm so scared to try to initiate sex because everytime I do he tells me NO. I'm so sad. I'm not sure what to do or what to try. It's been like this for months. I told him how sad it makes me, he just tells me he doesn't know what's wrong. :-(
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
V.Dubbya
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:06 AM
1 mom liked this
Is he really stressed out? Have there been any big changes in his life? Have there been any big changes in your lives as a couple? I'm sorry you're going through this. My dh experienced a low drive lets say when he was laid off and became depressed as a result. That's why I'm asking about changes that might affect his mood and drive... Hugs.
KGanger
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:11 AM

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:11 AM
Nothing extremely stressful has happened. He got a promotion at work. It's been like this since we got married.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:15 AM
Tried sexy lingerie. Tried games to help him open up about what he likes. Tried tying him up. He said he liked it, but he shows no interest in it. I even tried porn. And that made me feel worse than I already do. I have nothing against porn. But I felt disgusting when he was watching 2 girls go at it, and then he decided he wanted sex withbme.

Quoting KGanger:

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:16 AM
Pretty much this.
If my dh was like yours, I would put him in a situation it's hard to say no to.
When I'm feeling ignored in the sex department, I put on sexy lingerie, or walk up to him naked and start stroking him, or giving him a blow job, if he gets hard, which he always does, I take action and fuck him myself lol.

Quoting KGanger:

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:18 AM
Don't feel bad about him being stimulated my girl on girl porn, sometimes something like that is what it takes in the moment.

Quoting Anonymous:

Tried sexy lingerie. Tried games to help him open up about what he likes. Tried tying him up. He said he liked it, but he shows no interest in it. I even tried porn. And that made me feel worse than I already do. I have nothing against porn. But I felt disgusting when he was watching 2 girls go at it, and then he decided he wanted sex withbme.



Quoting KGanger:

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:18 AM
I would do that except I get, not today, or later.

Quoting Anonymous:

Pretty much this.

If my dh was like yours, I would put him in a situation it's hard to say no to.

When I'm feeling ignored in the sex department, I put on sexy lingerie, or walk up to him naked and start stroking him, or giving him a blow job, if he gets hard, which he always does, I take action and fuck him myself lol.



Quoting KGanger:

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:20 AM
Makes me feel pretty damn disgusting since I can't manage to get him into me.

Quoting Anonymous:

Don't feel bad about him being stimulated my girl on girl porn, sometimes something like that is what it takes in the moment.



Quoting Anonymous:

Tried sexy lingerie. Tried games to help him open up about what he likes. Tried tying him up. He said he liked it, but he shows no interest in it. I even tried porn. And that made me feel worse than I already do. I have nothing against porn. But I felt disgusting when he was watching 2 girls go at it, and then he decided he wanted sex withbme.





Quoting KGanger:

This is a complicated one cause it could be a double edge sword if you did nothing, or tried to take initiative. If it was me and my fiance did that, i would take action. I would wear something very sexy in the lingerie department. If he was laying there I would tie him up and then provoke him. He hates being tickled so I would tickle him and then tease him sexually. after getting him roused up, I would untie him and tease some more to get him to take action. I don't know what your situation is, but I hope that this is alittle helpful for ideas. Like i said it could work, or it could be a double edge sword and turn things for the worse. Do what you think will be right.

KGanger
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:22 AM
I'm still sorry that you are going through this. your S/O showing no interest is always hard. I'm also sorry that what I said won't be of help. just try stay calm and not over analyze it, he may just be having a hard time with something and is definitely closing himself up for some reason. I don't think it's you, it might just be work stressing him out to where he's too tired to do things. I'm not good at this I'm sorry, usually when communication gets lost in my relationships, it ends.
Hartbrayka
by Silver Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 3:23 AM

 Go on a nice vacation.  Getting away from the stress of the house, work, etc. does wonders for your sex life.  If you are lucky enough, try getting a relative to watch the kids while you go away.  Even if it's for a 2-3 day weekend.  Maybe you can go to a casino, beach, or even just a nice hotel with a pool, an nice things will be nice. 

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