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What I want doesn't matter anymore

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 15 Replies
This might get long.
Dh has cancer. When he was diagnosed we lived near the hospital where he would be getting his chemo treatments. Twice a month. The cost of living there is high and I just found out I was pregnant. Mil offered to rent to own us a house she owns in dh's home town, 2 1/2 hours away. So he could be closer to family so they could 'help out'.
Fast forward and ds is 9 months old and dh is foing much better but still has to go to the hospital 2,3, and sometimes 4 times a month. we are living here in bfe. Mil just announced that she has to go to work full time. No one actually helps us with anything anyway. She would drive him to the occasional appointment or sit with the kids. But not anymore, I have to spend an entire day with two kids in a hospital, and drive a total of 5 hours.
It's draining us. In every sense of the word.
I need to go back to work. Now that I'll have to find my own sitter, I was thinking we should move back closer to the city if i can find a job there first. It makes a lot more sense.
And dh wants no part of it. He totally flipped. His argument is that we made a commitment to buy this house already, he wants to be near his family.
But I think I should have some say here, since I am the one doing absolutely everything all by myself.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
New.OrleansLady
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:19 AM
Can you find a sitter where you are for when you go to the hospital?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:20 AM
B
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Yes, I could pay someone. I'm going to have to pay a sitter when I go back to work anyways. But jobs in this little town don't pay much at all. And we are struggling with money big time.

Quoting New.OrleansLady:

Can you find a sitter where you are for when you go to the hospital?
KatieHops
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Does he work?
BrownEyedGirl86
by Gold Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:25 AM
That's a difficult situation. I'm sorry
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:30 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree with him that you did make a commitment to buy the house. I also understand that he wants to be close to family.
Maybe try to find a job where you are. If you are set on moving, work out a plan with your husband & compromise.
Caregivers often get overwhelmed with everything just like the patient. However, most people don't think about how the caregiver is doing. Try to get a day to yourself to relax & unwind.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you need to go where the money is and what would be easier.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:42 AM
No, he's disabled

Quoting KatieHops:

Does he work?
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 8:49 AM
I think it would be easier on us all. They have so many more job opportunities, public transportation, cancer support groups and programs, just so many more resources available than here in the middle of nowhere.

Quoting Anonymous:

I think you need to go where the money is and what would be easier.
Talienas
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:34 AM
If the excuse is to be closer to family, does that only include his mother that's not going to be around now? Is there other family that can help? If not, what's the point to staying there with no help or resources? I think these are legitimate points you should make....
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