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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

i thought marriage was a 50/50 thing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I've been married going on 10 years and nothing is never 50/50.

More like 80/20 at best. My DH is good* at One thing making money , that's it.

Not even less then avg parenting skills.

I'm getting burned out. so how do get my husband to be more active as a father and a home owner.

ATM I do it all.

wow over 200 replies  as soon as the kids are asleep  I'll read them all.

Okay for those saying 100/100 your just not understanding.  Effort  put in to a marriage  has nothing to do with getting stuff done.

50/50 as in splitting everything that makes life run smoothly. ( BE THE TEAM PLAYER )

iI don't care if just watches while I get stuff done. "REALLY  watches them not him playing on the ipad while they run wild fu&@ing stuff up for me"

theses kids our half his genetic pool there for, half their mess is half his... that's how I feel

JUST BECAUSE I'M WORKING AT HOME DOESN'T MEAN.

I OR ANY OTHER  SHAM OR WHAM  SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A SLAVE. 

Those why do let him blah etc... He's a grown ass man , I don't (let ) do sqwat. 

He does what he wants...

Those asked if tried talking to him. I have talked to him, at him & to point of tears. He's brick wall and doesn't see what's wrong.  

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Replies (221-230):
Pickle521
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:37 PM

 I agree.  My DH works a lot of hours sometimes (40-80/week, it varies) and during the long work weeks I get overwhelmed and need a break.  When my DH is home and has a little more time, I ask if he can help by giving DS a bath, putting him to bed, or play with him for a short time while I run an errand.  I feel like it's really important for my son to have a good relationship with his father and even doing little things together can help accomplish that.  I don't know how many hours your husband works or the rest of the sitution, but I'd suggest talking to him about your concerns to see what he thinks is reasonable.


Quoting yrfavoritseason:

I understand where you are coming from. But isn't choosing to be a SAHM.. including taking care of the house and children.. your "job"? If he is giving his job 100%, are you giving your job 100%? When my husband was the only one working (not very long.. I have always worked from home or worked outside the home part time, plus full time college) I never expected him to lift a finger when it came to house work. He did a few things.. took out the trash once in a while.. but I was the one picking up his dirty underwear off the floor! This was our compromise for me staying at home with my daughter. On the other hand, I DID and always will expect him to spent time with his child and have a relationship with her! There is no excuse for not being a good father! Yes, I was the one feeding, changing, bathing, putting to sleep etc.. but he made sure when he had a day off that he spends all the time he can with her. Have a heart to heart and tell him your concerns.. thats my advice. Good luck!


 

starkissed334
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:41 PM
I'm know exactly how you're feeling! I'm in the same situation, married 10 years this year, only I make the money and when he was out of work for over a year, I was the only one making money. He works now, but still doesn't do a thing around the house or help me do anything unless I ask him to and even then he does the bare minimum. A married single mom, lol, I never thought of it that way.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 45 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:45 PM

YEP.

DH travels a LOT and when he's home? It's like he's not even here.

Married single mom of 7 years here.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 46 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:54 PM
My hubby's Job keeps him away a lot but there are times he's here for long spells. But to keep everything running the same I try to act like he's gone and do everything. The only thing he's responsible for is the yard. That gives him more time to spend w the boys. And spoil me :)
jazminedodson
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:59 PM

Yep.  My DH works 2 full time jobs and is only home 2 evenings a week and every other Sunday.  When he's home he does stuff around the house that I don't do like mow the lawn and such.  

BaronSamedi
by Silver Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 How spoiled.  Most men are conditioned to be provider.  Are you working or are you SAHM?   Do the kids have chores?  As my parents taught me "kids are mobile appliances." 

nobrien82709
by Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:21 PM

I'm truly sorry that you aren't in an ideal situation, and I hope it gets better for you.  However, no married woman,unless her husband is estranged, can understand what being a single mom is.  I am not taking away from what you are going through, I bet it is frustrating as hell and difficult. But being a single mom is a completely different ball park. Best wishes in your situation though, sincerely.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:29 PM

My husband works out of town 80 percent of the time May-December. Yup,  married single mom right here :(  But when he's home, he's amazing and I'm on a relative holiday ;)

Hope things will improve for you soon. Being burned-out is not good and leads to resentment.

Perhaps you can tell him that exactly: Thank him for making money for the family. Then tell him, how you feel burned-out and you are beginning to harbour resentment, and you NEVER want to resent him. Then ask him what he thinks and recommends. Men like to "solve" problems for their wives ;)

Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:30 PM

True say! Whenever I feel sorry for myself, I will remember this. Thanks for posting.


Quoting nobrien82709:

I'm truly sorry that you aren't in an ideal situation, and I hope it gets better for you.  However, no married woman,unless her husband is estranged, can understand what being a single mom is.  I am not taking away from what you are going through, I bet it is frustrating as hell and difficult. But being a single mom is a completely different ball park. Best wishes in your situation though, sincerely.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 47 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:31 PM

Awwww


Quoting PolishMamma2:

My husband is either at work or sleeping. I get burned out too. The only thing that keeps my spirit up is knowing we are both doing this for a purpose. I do my best at raising the kids & taking care of the home & he does his best at providing for us. One day the kids will be away in college & the buisness will be established & all we will have is time...



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