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cut him out ompletely?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

idk what to do.


my ex agreed with the 1st and 3rd saturdays to get ds. he's never been consistant with it. supposed to get him this sat, but he 'has plans' so he wants to come see him tomorrow.... but only for 2 hours.

last time- he 'had plans' and seen him prior for about 4 hours, maybe less.


i feel as if ds is on the backburner. do i just say fuck it with the saturday plans, and let him come around whenever he wants? say no- we agreed to saturdays and thats what im sticking to. 2 fucking days outta the month and you seem to always make plans those days!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:45 PM

by cut him out completely, i mean- if he contacts me to see ds, and if we arent busy- great... but if we are- too bad.


ds will be 8 soon

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:46 PM

Do you have a visitation arrangement through the courts??

ashley9603
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:47 PM

Do you guys have a visitation order in place?I would not let him just come when he wants or when its convienant for him.Your son is at that age to where he could be really hurt by his dad's lack of involvement...I really dont know.I would say have a talk with his dad and see what you two can work out.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:49 PM


Quoting Sassy762:

Do you have a visitation arrangement through the courts??

nope. i figured we wouldnt need it. before- i was all about him seeing him whenever.... until 'plans' started popping up, after i told ds about the visit... then i talked with him, and we agreed to those saturdays... still gives him friday nights and at least 2 other saturdays to go out.... but obv that isnt good either

NEMommaOf3
by Give Thanks on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:52 PM

Stick to the plan; if he wants to keep changing it either go to court and get it court ordered, or if it was done through the court go back to get it modified. If he doesn't want to be consistent then obviously your ds is not a priority to him and he shouldn't be allowed to confuse him.

wooly
by Knitting Maniac on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:52 PM

 Does your son want to see his father?  My kids dad pulled this often enough that they just satrted making their own  plans and if it worked out to see their dad ok and if not they really didn't care. They were a little older tho. If your ex keeps this behavior up your son will eventually do the same.

AutymsMommy
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:53 PM

You can't just cut him off completely... not legally... not if there are no more pressing reasons than him not keeping his word.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff: we have traditional gender roles, we're Catholic, I'm Libertarian, he's Republican, we're both conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee














Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:53 PM

in the beginning, he'd come over whenever... then would make plans to come but bail for other plans... so i talked with him and agreed w/ the two saturdays... it gives him the rest of the time to go out... but apparently, it feels like to me at least, these two days are too much too! even if its just for a few hours.... never more than over 6 hours and he usually leaves before 8:30pm. (thats his choice... i'd love it if he'd take him overnight.. only people ds has is us two... i'm struggling mentally, and he's just not around really)

Quoting ashley9603:

Do you guys have a visitation order in place?I would not let him just come when he wants or when its convienant for him.Your son is at that age to where he could be really hurt by his dad's lack of involvement...I really dont know.I would say have a talk with his dad and see what you two can work out.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:55 PM

I would give Dad a final warning and THEN cut him out if he doesn't comply. Being a Dad isn't about just showing up for a few hours when it's convenient for HIM. You don't get that luxury as a Mom, so why should he? He clearly knows when he's supposed to get his child. He needs to move his schedule and plans around to accommodate and put his child as his top priority, if he chooses not to, cut his ass out. Your child deserves better!

myempyreofdirt
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 4:57 PM
The sad truth is that if he wanted to see his son he would follow your agreement. Sorry to be so blunt, but you need a straight answer. I'd tell him he can either make time on the days you agreed or not see his son at all. I wish guys like that would just man up, but if he isn't going to it'll be easier for your son not to have the constant let downs.
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