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How do you tell your 10 yr old

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
That her dad has turned into a big loser. How do you tell her that until he quits doing drugs she can't see him. And how do you tell her that if he approaches her at school she is to get away.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 7:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ali32
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 7:52 PM

Awwww, that's a tough one. You can just tell her that her dad has some problems that he needs to fix and that if/when he fixes them then she can see him again. You can let the school know that he is not to have contact with her. For that you will probably need to show them custody papers for a protection order.  Good luck. 

MixedCooke
by Ruby Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:05 AM
2 moms liked this

Daddy is not himself lately and he needs to get better before you can see him.  Hopefully he will go to  a camp for adults (rehab) and get some help but until then, its just going to be you and me kid.  Know that Daddy still loves you, he just needs to focus on himself and it is better if you dont see him right now.  If you do see Daddy let him know that Mommy said he needs to get better before you can spend time with him and for her go back inside the school.

It wasnt until I was much older before I realized what a "camp for adults" was.

threenorns
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:06 AM

is he likely to harm the child?

bec unless he's a demonstrated danger to the child, you're actually not allowed to do that. 

MedicMommy2
by Silver Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:10 AM
1 mom liked this
Perfect


Quoting MixedCooke:

Daddy is not himself lately and he needs to get better before you can see him.  Hopefully he will go to  a camp for adults (rehab) and get some help but until then, its just going to be you and me kid.  Know that Daddy still loves you, he just needs to focus on himself and it is better if you dont see him right now.  If you do see Daddy let him know that Mommy said he needs to get better before you can spend time with him and for her go back inside the school.


It wasnt until I was much older before I realized what a "camp for adults" was.


calvinsmommy18
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:13 AM
Well for the school thing you need to make sure there is a no contact order or restraining order or he will be able to approach her.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:16 AM

 We have some 2 nieces and a nephew who have a Mother that had drug addictions, they were much younger than 10 when this happened we explained to them that Mummy was sick she wasnt well and needed to get better before they could see her etc, and they got older more was explained, they are now teenagers and are still in my MIL's custody, sad, but its the best place for them

ROBIN-C
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:19 AM

Don't bash her dad to her. 

Does she know anything? That he does drugs or acts odd sometimes?

we are in similar situations. Kids dad is an alcoholic making really bad choices right now and he isn't allowed to see our daughter. But the only time he has even asked in 3 weeks was on her bday last week. He got to see her for 3 hours at his moms house.

But difference is that my daughter doesn't ask to see her dad because she knows he has been making bad choices, has witnessed some herself.

bellawomen
by Summer on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:23 AM
Technically, unless you have legal paperwork prohibiting him from contacting her he may have the right to approach her and even pick her up from school without the school stopping him since he is her father. You need to take action.

I suggest you get a counselor stat. When I separated from my son's father and had to break the new to him that is the route I went. I am forever thankful. Thankfully his dad came to his senses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:27 AM
We just went through that with my 8yo SS. His mom is an alcoholic, just got her second DUI in under 6 months. We told him his mom is making bad choices right now and being around her is dangerous. He is staying with us until she straightens her life out and pulls her head out of her ass
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 1, 2013 at 7:14 AM


He has made several threats to take her and that I would never see her again. I currently have sole physical and legal custody and he has no visitation. 

Quoting threenorns:

is he likely to harm the child?

bec unless he's a demonstrated danger to the child, you're actually not allowed to do that. 



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