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Why. The. F***. Would. You. Be. Talking. To. HER?!?!?!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 139 Replies
1 mom liked this
Before I start. Yes, I go through my husbands Facebook. Why?
He had an online affair 3 years ago. After that, part if our process was giving each other total access to our online accounts. Now, I've never logged into his Facebook. I have the email address. And his password. Never bothered. Occasionally when he leave herself logged in ill check out his wall and see who he's been talking too.

He left himself logged in on his messages. He was talking to a woman. Didn't think much of it, but hadnt read all the messages. I did however click her profile, she looked very familiar, like someone I knew and I couldn't quite place it. So i went to find out where I reconfnized her from. Then it hit Me.

She's the one he had the online affair with it.

That right there pissed me off. Majorly. Why the fuck would he be chatting up the women he had an affair with.

So then i read the messages.

He bitches to her about our sex life. According to him we don't have nearly enough sex. I just don't want to have sex. And blah blah. Really? What about the part about me being PREGNANT? What about the fact that I'm sick all the time and have been hospitalised twice for dehydration and I'm only 17 weeks in? What about the part where he wants sex every single day and not only has sex gotten painful somehow, I'm also in constant pain with my stomach. No, I cannot keep up with his hyperactive sex drive right now, and I don't think it's so horrible for him to have to have some patience. No, I can't give you a blow job when I'm
Nauseous and vomiting every ten minutes. No I don't want to have sex when it's so painful that I want to cry. Only he doesn't complain to me. He goes and bitches to her.

Not only does he discuss and bitch about our sex life with her, he apparently talks to her about everything. If he's upset or has a problem with something he talks to her. But he won't talk to me about anything.

He's told her all about how he hates our house and neighbourhood and wants to move. All his complaints about work.... Even told her that he isn't sure that he wants this baby...(I'll get to that in a minute.).... But he won't talk to me about anything... I try and try to get him to talk to me..and he won't.. Does he talk to me? And tell me his problem? Yeah, very vaguely and then refuses to talk with me about it. But apparently he can talk to her about anything.

This baby was not planned. I was told I couldn't get pregnant again and I've been on bc since dd was born. (She is 5). I get it. He's scared and worried about this baby. But if e can't and won't talk to me about it, then what can I do? I can't help him with anything if he won't talk to me. But apparently he'd rather talk to her.

I'm pissed.
I'm hurt.
I don't even know what to do...

He doesn't get off work until 11...
And I'm not even sure I even want to talk to him at this point...

Eta/ according to their oh so lovely conversations she has a fiancé and just had a baby.

Update- dd and I are at a hotel.

I wrote him a letter. And left it where he'd find it as soon as he walked on.

I didn't want to talk to him or look at him. And I didn't want to sleep in that house or in our bed.

He's called And text me a bunch...I haven't replied...

Eta- mostly his texts say that he doesn't understand why I left and I'm upset...

I just...didn't want to be in our house..that's why I left instead of making him go..

I'm just trying really hard not to cry because I didn't want dd to see me cry or know anything right now...I don't her want to scare...but it's really hard..
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:50 PM

I would be pissed too. I have no advice ((HUGS)) So sorry

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:53 PM
2 moms liked this
Sorry. You're amazing, if he can't see that leave.
by Stacey on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:54 PM
12 moms liked this

 This is strike #2. Time to leave that asshole.

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:56 PM
I would have dropped his ass after learning about the online affair, soI cant help with this. Heres a bump though.
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:56 PM
Oh boy. I'd be pissed.
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:57 PM
6 moms liked this

I would leave, he sounds emotionally connected to her. Dealbreaker. You deserve better!

by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:57 PM
9 moms liked this

Print up EVERYTHING off those messages on FB with her and have it waiting for him to read when he gets home, without saying anything except for "read this please"  Period.

He's an ass hat.

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:58 PM
What a sorry pathetic waste of air. I'm so sorry.=*(
by Diamond Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:59 PM

I'd leave.


I wouldn't think twice, that is unacceptable.

by Jennifer on Jul. 31, 2013 at 9:59 PM
17 moms liked this

Sorry, but he's emotionally closer to her than to you.  There is a simple explanation for that.  They are together in fantasyland where NO day-to-day monotonous comes in.  They can pretend how they are so lovey dovey, and maybe they are, but I can just about guarantee that if they were to shack up, then he would eventually have the same complaints and gripes about her that he does about you.  The problem is that he sounds like he thinks everything should be sunshine and roses everyday, and that is just not realistic.  Life is monotonous- bills need to be paid, jobs must be attended, kids need attention and help, spouses aren't straight out of some 1950s sitcom, and it's chock full of daily banality.

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