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Read this !!!!....please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 16 Replies

OK I know you Grammar Nazi's will be all grr at this but i did write it in note pad and I have horrid grammar . I did have some trepidation with sharing this with you but my want to share over came my fear . So here it is , Oh please note that if you want to fix the grammar you can !


Wind blew hard during a spring night the scent of jasmine was on the wind , it moved threw a window across the floor that's littered with clothing and other things then across a full sized bed that had blankets and pillows all over , towards a young man who sat in a computer chair big squishy headphones blaring some kind of loud music and he is playing a game while sipping his soda . His black hair moved from the wind, he his eyes never left the screen . The scent crossed his nose and he stopped playing a moment and as the memories of when he last smelled it crossed his minds eye , almost a month ago he had gone walking behind his house in the woods , it was the middle of the day a perfect day , in fact it was not to cold or to hot and a gentle breeze moved threw the trees he had passed a large bush , then head it

.... A Growl ....

The growl was loud , louder then any animal he heard . Then a burning feeling and a fast moving thing sprinted past him his eyes were blurred from the pain of it his jeans were torn and he was bleeding as he limped home his mom had taken him to the ER and they figured he been bit by a random dog but was given shots to keep him from getting infection .

Life since has changed but in a good way , he had always been sort of heavy and weak and since he was born a preemie he always had health issues . After that encounter he found his lungs worked better , his eye sight improved almost over night , his hearing and scent became even better then ever. And best yet he started to shed the extra weight , he lost 20 pounds and be came very lean and it looked like he started to form a six pack .

The only side effect to this was he had a odd craving for meat ,his doctor kept having to tell his horrified vegan parents that it was normal and part of growing up. He got out of his chair took his headphones off and stretched he had grown a lot taller on top of his other changes making him about 6 foot tall which was nice since he was always a runt of well , everyone .

He heads to his window looks out it was cloudy and he was getting tired just wearing sweat pants crawled into bed and closed his eyes . The clouds parted showing the full moon in all its glory the light flooded his bedroom window and onto him . He shifts a little in bed getting comfortable as the light fully covering him , his muscles start to get larger starts to inch taller cracking is heard and he wake up grabing his sides in pain growling his voice getting deeper , his breathing deepens and shortens as his chest cage grows out more .

He flexes his hand as it grows longer and claws forming on the tips of his fingers , he stands up the sweat pants tearing as his legs bend back into more cainine he goes to the open he window leans out it trying to calm down and wake up from this nightmare . He takes a Deep breath as his face starts to feel very painful his nose and mouth pushes forward as his teeth enlarge starting to form a muzzle and his ears move up and form pointed ears , Short thick black fur start to cover his body showing off his mucles more he grows large in that aspect and he jumps out the window landing in the back yard .His eyes turn red as the pain subsides and he lets out a loud deep Howl the Eco's in the woods looks around he can see perfect better then perfect !

His stomec growls and he moves fast threw the woods loveing the way he can run and jumping from tree to tree and landing by a lake moves to a bush and waits for a deer . A deer comes to the lake and starts to drink , he comes out at the deer full speed eaily killing it right away he looks down and blinks at it a part of him can't belive what he did the other wants food . and he eats soon filling his belly and leaving a very big mess but most would think a wolf had a good meal , they would not be wrong at that but hes not a full wolf either .

He leaves the area and runs off and around the he hears another howl and he goes to find it getting back to his house he smells Jasmine and then a sudden pain rips threw him and he passes out . a voice calling out to him " Jace ! Jace wake up ! Its me wake up Jace hon " he slowly opens his eyes and looks around he sees his mom " mom ? " she smiles and looks relaved " were you sleep walking and you need to shave and why was your clothing tore " . Jace looks at down at him self sweat pants torn and he had a heavy 5 O'clock and his black hair is a bit longer then last night ...was it a dream it can't have been real ? Then he hear a Howl echo threw the woods and the scent of jasmine hits him ....

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:22 PM

Paragraphs are your friend.

Christywf
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:24 PM

Post too long to read at the moment, sorry.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:24 PM

Can't do it with no paragraphs. I think I read up until grammar nazi's. Sorry, here's a bump my friend.

Anonandon
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:27 PM
Ok, I read it. Your spelling is atrocious. If you're wanting to be a writer, you seriously need to work on that.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:28 PM


Quoting Anonymous:

Paragraphs are your friend.

it was when i hit enter 

Aslen
by Ruby Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Doesn't make it a paragraph


Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonymous:

Paragraphs are your friend.

it was when i hit enter 


MichLW69
by PackersXLV4 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:31 PM
I can get past spelling and poor grammar. I cannot, however, get past no paragraphs, sentence structure. If you re-write it, w paragraphs and:or maybe give the CliffNotes version, I will read it.

Sorry OP.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:31 PM


Quoting Anonandon:

Ok, I read it. Your spelling is atrocious. If you're wanting to be a writer, you seriously need to work on that.

well i admire that you told me non anon . To be honest the schools i went to never really taught me anything i was in SDC and at the time they did the just pass them along , its why i did not read till 4th grade *sigh* but i am working on it a friend said writing would help

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Start to read.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand gave up at OK.

Anonandon
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:37 PM
It will, and so will reading more. Read everything, you'll learn more than you realize. Do crossword puzzles and google the answers if you have to. Expand your vocabulary and you can be a good writer, maybe even great.

Quoting Anonymous:


Quoting Anonandon:

Ok, I read it. Your spelling is atrocious. If you're wanting to be a writer, you seriously need to work on that.

well i admire that you told me non anon . To be honest the schools i went to never really taught me anything i was in SDC and at the time they did the just pass them along , its why i did not read till 4th grade *sigh* but i am working on it a friend said writing would help

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