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Birth mom's should not choose parents before giving birth

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:56 PM
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I am an adoptee and had a wonderful adoption. Parents who were not perfect but loved me and wanted me. I think adoption is a wonderful option for a mother who finds herself with a pregnancy she doesn't think she can handle and does not feel equipped to parent or feel abortion is right for her.

BUT I do not think pre-birth matching is right. And the reason I say that is because I have watched it destroy my brother. They were matched with a woman, went through the last 4 months of her pregnancy, paid all the bills, moved her 4 states, and 2 weeks later she took the baby back.

I HAVE NO ILL FEELINGS toward the mother. It was her right to do that. She stated that she knew at birth she wanted to keep little J but felt like she HAD to give her up since they paid so much money and were counting on the baby.

Hearing her story and how upset she was made me even more sure that pre-birth matching is wrong. You don't know how much you will bond with that baby instantly till they are in your arms.

So that's my confession of the day. I think that the adoptive parents should be picked and only meet the mother AFTER baby is born. She should look through profiles and have some idea of who she will pick but not meet them or at least not form a bond with them, until after baby is born.

by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 10:56 PM
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