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I don't know what to think or feel...LONG.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies

My brother was in the Navy and he was chief and had been in 20+ years. My SIL,who is like a little sister to me, wanted to join and did, she ships to boot camp in a couple of weeks. Well, 4 years ago, I introduced them on Facebook so she could get more info b/c he does/did the same job she enlisted for, linguistics. They speak rarely on there. She just turned 18 in March and so she is still like a child to us and she is innocent, as in never really had a boyfriend, and still a virgin. 

My brother has been going through a lot financially since he left the service and trying to start up a business. He is very depressed and has told me he thinks about ending everything on just about everyday. Well, tonight we were messaging on Facebook and he starts to tell me he has an idea, but then stops. I didn't dig in, I left it alone, but he came back to it. He told me that it would be beneficial to him and SIL if they got married for legal purposes. He would get more money from his disability that way and she would too. I shot that down right away. He said it wouldn't be a relationship, but I told him NO. He has a daughter the same freaking age!!!!

I felt sick to my stomach when he told me this, and SIL is his type( young, Asian). I changed the subject. When I was done responding, I told DH we needed to talk. I couldn't keep this to myself and I feel like someone needs to say something to SIL so she will stay away from my brother (they will be in the same city when she is done with bootcamp). I also, needed to confide in my DH b/c I don't know how to feel, he is my brother, but she is like a little sister to me too. I am also pregnant, and a mess anyway, and I didn't need this thrown on top of issues I have already. 

DH is livid, and yet quiet. He just sat there and said "you will deal with your brother, and I will deal with my sister." I don't even know how to speak to my brother anymore, and yet I don't want anything bad said to him b/c he is fragile right now and I don't want to push him over the edge and him harm himself. I really can't even think straight right now about how to continue to deal with this.

Help!


Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:22 PM

bump

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:24 PM
I don't get why it's an issue? These type of marriages happen more often than you think.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:26 PM


because I am sure there is more to it. I think he is going to want something more out of it. Actually, I know he will. Plus, she is 18, and shouldn't be getting into anything legal like that.

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't get why it's an issue? These type of marriages happen more often than you think.



armywife009
by Platinum Member on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:27 PM

Yikes, I have no clue what to tell you. Good luck.

LadyAmaranth
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:28 PM

I think you should each express your feelings then let it go.

They're adults and have to make their own choices. Can't do much about it aside from either supporting whatever goes down or turn away.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:30 PM


I thought about that, but I have this overwhelming need to protect SIL. She really is clueless on a lot in life. Hell she didn't know what a credit card was until a couple of weeks ago.

Quoting LadyAmaranth:

I think you should each express your feelings then let it go.

They're adults and have to make their own choices. Can't do much about it aside from either supporting whatever goes down or turn away.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:32 PM
If your brother is suicidal contact the VA and ask what you need to get at least a 72 hour hold. My husband's friend from the marine corps killed himself after drinking right on hisfront lawn. It is a serious issue and the VA will help.
Toonkasmommy
by Challenger 💗 on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:34 PM
Shit I have no clue what to say. At the end of the day she is an adult and she will decide.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:34 PM


Thank you, I didn't know to contact them. I thought he might get better, and he has been seeing a Dr. Yet, he said meds make him worse off.

Quoting Anonymous:

If your brother is suicidal contact the VA and ask what you need to get at least a 72 hour hold. My husband's friend from the marine corps killed himself after drinking right on hisfront lawn. It is a serious issue and the VA will help.



1likeme
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 11:34 PM
It would be very wrong for him to manipulate your SIL into a marriage for him to benefit financially. I think you should tell your SIL what your brother is planning and let her know that even if he turns on the charm he simply wants to use her. After that she is an adult and she will make her own decisions.
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