I am a adoptive mother. I have had adoptive mothers guilt for this first year. I have thought about, and felt sorry for the birth mother. I know i could never walk away from a child. Expecially the way she did it. "Gave birth, left the hospital while child was in the NICU, then called the hospital saying she wanted to place the child. She didnt even want to pick a family, the agency picked us"
Every time a milestone would happen I would think "OH got to write that down for the Birth mom to know for her letter" I never thought about how exciteing it was for me. Just thought about how she would feel about it.
I just wrote the Birth mother her 1 year update, and prined out some pictures, and suddenly it just happined. I dont feel the guild and worry about the mother any more. She made her choice. I am keeping to my agreement to do the now once a year updates.
But i dont feel Adoptive mothers guilt any longer.