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Explain to me why your child can't wake themselves up. *update*

Posted by Anonymous
  • 226 Replies
5 moms liked this

My DD wakes herself up every single morning.  This isn't something she started on her own, it is something I taught her to do.  Since she entered the first grade she would wake herself up, get showered, dressed and ready for the bus in time for her to eat the breakfast I made her.

No, it wasn't perfect at first.  We made a list of everything she had to do to get ready & each day she'd start at the top until she memorized the list.  

What was on the list?

wake up at 7am.  Shower.  Deodorant. Dress to shoes.  Make sure book bag is ready & sitting by the door with coat or jacket.  Eat breakfast.  Brush teeth.  Wait for bus.

She did this every morning.  Even now that I drive her, she still does all of it and I still don't have to wake her up.  Her alarm clock does it for me.  She is 14 now.

think you can't teach an older child the same thing?  You can.  I am currently taking care of a 17 year old.  After the first week of having to wake her up, she started losing privileges until she realized I was serious about her using her alarm clock.  Now, she's awake, showered & dressed by whatever time she has to be.

Stop letting your children control you by making you wake them up.  Teach them the skills to wake up themselves.  

Even now during summer, my girls are up, showered and dressed at the time I set.  They get one day a week to sleep till noon.  I do not let them stay up all night and sleep all day.  They would be miserable & cranky if they did so.  I know, we tried it one week.  By the end of it, DD put herself to bed at 9pm and was up at 8am.

Don't tell me how deep your kid sleeps, or make some kind of excuse why they can't wake themselves.  You give a child incentive, aka take away privileges, and they will learn even the things they don't want to just to get those privileges back.

if you let your child do this, who's going to wake them for college or a job when you're not there to do it.  No one!  Then you'll end up being stuck with the kid who will forever sponge off of you because they never learned to go out and live their lives, they chose to sleep instead.

Show me a child who stays up all night, sleeps all day & whose parents constantly try waking them up & I will point out that the parent is being suckered and the child has all the control in the relationship.  If you can't even get your kid to learn to wake up by themselves, you suck as an authority figure and you don't seem to be good at parenting at all.

This does not apply to your child if they have actually been diagnosed with some kind of sleeping disorder.  

Ps.  Staying up all night to play video games is not a disorder, more like an addiction they need to learn to control.


1. Obviously I never expected so many replies to a vent post.  To be honest, I've read a lot, but not every single one.  So please bear with me while I address a few things.

Here's the reason why I vented about this.  A woman in my church has 6 children.  None of them wake themselves up.  They refuse to even use their alarm clocks, they unplug them.  They stay up late every night, no matter what they know is planned for the next morning or day.  If they are required to be anywhere, they always arrive late, even if just one of the children is the only one coming because no one wants to wake up because they are exhausted from staying up all night.  Every morning before she is supposed to be at work she wakes up each child one by one and then has to repeat the cycle, going from room to room, at least three times till she is yelling and screaming at them to move.  If they were under the age of 6, no big deal.  Yet, they range in ages from 10 to 17.  

Its to the point that at the Lady's meetings at church she just sits there and cries because she is so stressed out about the whole situation.  Yet, when each of us offer ideas or disciplines she could try, she never tries them.  She just repeats the same routine every morning, hoping that eventually they will learn to wake themselves.  It makes me sad and frustrates me to no end because when her children sleepover at my house they have no issue waking up and being ready by whatever time I set for them.  

2. Regarding the deodorant issue.  Have you never given in on anything a bit small and inconsequential for your child just because it makes them happy?  I remember when I was younger my mom bought my sister and I the cute little Avon deodorants, so when DD asked and begged, I didn't see a problem with it.  Just because I am strict with my child on certain things does not make me this evil, domineering mother that some of you just assume I am.

3. Before I made the list of DD's morning routine, I sat down with her and went through all the steps that it took her every morning to get ready.  I didn't just pull this list from thin air.  

4. Who said I didn't wake up with her?  I even stated above that we ate the breakfast together that I made.  

5. I hate yelling.  We don't yell in my house unless trying to shout over whatever music we are playing during certain times of the day.  Being clear about what is expected of them prevents such strife.

6. I do believe in being clear with my children about was is expected of them on a daily basis.  What is so wrong with that?  I grew up on a farm.  We got one day to sleep in, but the rest we were up doing chores and crafts and playing outside during summer.  What's the point of sleeping the whole day away?

7. Before first grade I would go into DD's room every morning, open the curtains and say "Good morning, Sunshine!"  Listening to her repeat it back to me was delightful and it was a fun routine, but I knew she was going to have to learn how to wake herself up.  So, now after she wakes herself up and heads to the shower, I pop my head out of my room where I'm getting dressed before I go make breakfast and I still say "Good Morning, Sunshine!"

8. To give you an idea of how "oppressed" my daughters are, I will give you a list of privileges they can and will lose if they break rules intentionally.  They can lose access to the tv, their laptops, cell phones, ipod touches, kindles and radios.  They've even lost all electronics for one full day.  It was as if the world had ended, lol.  

-I figured I would add this in before someone said something about all the trouble they could be getting in online and such.  I have a routerand and an app for it that keeps track of every website visited and blocks websites they shouldn't even know about.  I have all their usernames and passwords for the three social networks they are allowed to be on.  If they install any app on their ipod touch and kindles, they can't uninstall it without my password.  My husband is in IT and takes care of their laptops. I know what's out there and I'm doing what I can without putting them on full electronic lockdown (like a friend of mine has done with her children.)

Sure, our expectations are high, but aren't the benefits of meeting our expectations worth it?  My girls seem to think so.  Right now they both have all their privileges.  We haven't had an big issue in weeks(knock on wood) and knowing that the only time they say I'm too strict is when I won't let them go in a car with a friend's parents whom I've never even met...

--I'm sorry to have stepped on so many toes with this post.  I know I generalized saying that all parent's whose children do not wake up themselves are bad parents.  Obviously that isn't true.  I was just so angry last night after seeing how miserable my friend is at the control she has given her children over her.  If her waking them up in the morning was as a delightful a routine as some you profess yours to be, I would never have said anything.

I'm still unsure how this is lazy parenting, but I guess to each their own. 

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Ruby Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:01 AM
15 moms liked this
You made your first grader wear deodorant?
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by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:03 AM
4 moms liked this
It's summer, a time when children get a break from those insane school schedules.
I would have hated growing up like that!
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:03 AM

My dd's are 18 & 13 they have been getting up and ready for school on their own for many yrs.

by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:03 AM
4 moms liked this

Because they are 7 & 8 and I like to wake them up. =D

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:04 AM

Quoting rgba:

You made your first grader wear deodorant?

It was the cheap Avon stuff.  She made me buy it for her so she could be a "big girl"

by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:04 AM
by J3 on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:04 AM

LOL  That was my first thought.  I have a DD going into 2nd grade.  She is no where near deodorant stage.

Quoting rgba:

You made your first grader wear deodorant?

by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:04 AM
8 moms liked this
I like to wake my child up every morning with tickles, kisses and hugs. Best alarm clock ever.
by Silver Member on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:05 AM
12 moms liked this

Of course any child is capable of waking up to an alarm clock but I like being able to nicely wake my kids up in the morning and be part of their morning routine.  They will be perfectly capable of using an alarm clock when they get older it isn't that difficult.  For now though I enjoy waking them up and they enjoy it.  Why is this so wrong?  Sounds kind of lazy to me to not want to be part of your children's morning.

by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 12:05 AM
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My almost 3 year old gets up at the crack of dawn everyday on her own. Girl did not get that from me. Hopefully she'll be able to continue that when she's in school though.
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