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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

NO I will NOT raise your child!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 82 Replies

My DD17 came to me this morning saying she is pregnant. I felt a mix of emotions but mostly fear and sadness. She lives with her dad half of the time and me half of the time and although I have pretty "strict" rules her dad has basically none. I have been paying for her to be on the pill (only birth control she wanted) for about a year now and she knows how to use condoms. Clearly even though we have had numerous sex talks she wasn't being very careful.

I cried and cried and cried and asked her what her plan was and what she wants to do. She told me that she wanted to move in with me full time and I could be her nanny while she finishes school. I almost laughed in her face but ended up just crying some more. I have a fulltime job that is at the same time as when she at school. She actually wanted me to stop working or change my hours. I told her no. I would let her live there if she helped out, got a job, and paid her way. I would babysit SOMETIMES free of charge for a few hours but anything more than that she would have to pay me or her brother to do it.  

I don't know what makes me more sad the fact that she is pregnant or the fact that she is so entitled. I can't help but feeling like a failure. I just am still so shocked. I just....i just don't know  


Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ymom3
by Silver Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:04 PM
7 moms liked this
Where is the dad? I got pregnant at 17 dh and I have taken care of our son since day 1. I never expected my mom to do anything. I decided to have sex I faced the consequences. I don't understand why some teens expect their parents to take care of the children they created.
sweetfox3
by Silver Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:04 PM
Just breathe. She still has choices and options, none of which require you to quit work. See what is available from in school daycare or assistance to school at home.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:06 PM


TBH I have no clue who he is. Whenever I talk to her about it she says nothing. I know she was dating a guy about 6 months ago and he was really nice but I doubt it was this guy. While she is with me she hasnt been dating anyone recently. 

Her dad pretty much lets her do w/e and it drives me nuts! I hope she opens up to me about it. I dont want to push too much but the father can be pretty important. (i know statistically he wont be around but he should at least know in case IMO)

Quoting ymom3:

Where is the dad? I got pregnant at 17 dh and I have taken care of our son since day 1. I never expected my mom to do anything. I decided to have sex I faced the consequences. I don't understand why some teens expect their parents to take care of the children they created.



SweetPea2004
by Platinum Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:07 PM

If I was in your shoes I would have walked outside for a very long walk.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:07 PM
2 moms liked this

I took a very long bath and then when it got cold I took another one. 


Quoting SweetPea2004:

If I was in your shoes I would have walked outside for a very long walk.



Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:11 PM

I would have asked her when she plans on marrying the baby's father and moving in with him.  

Mommy2b2many
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:12 PM
Deep breaths. She's young and clueless. Stick to your guns; you are right, it is not your responsibility to raise her child; although hopefully you're willing to help. Good luck.
Bncollins82
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM

 I was 16 when I got pregnant and had my son right after I graduated.  I was already married when he was born and although my parents and grandmother were there to help I was responsible for my child.  Your daughter got pregnant, she made the choice to have sex and she and the baby's father need to be responsible for their actions.  She will need you to be there guidance and moral support. Whatever you do beyond that is up to you.  I can't imagine how my mom felt when we told her but she was there every step of the way.  Chin up, take a deep breath and I wish you and your daughter the best. 

Bekki
by Silver Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:19 PM

Also, your daughter needs to come clean on who the father is so she can arrange child support.

opal10161973
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM

I would do the same thing.  I can't lie.  I raised my oldest as a very clueless 20 yo and did it on my own from the time he was 6 months old.  I never expected help from anyone.  I was extremely grateful when I DID get it, but I never expected my family to change their whole lives to watch my child.  That's just nuts, IMO.

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