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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Read if you want to have Nightmares.

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Imagine, if you dare....


If Cafemom was actually Cafemomabama, it's own state where all of the groups are cities.

Welcome to bitch county, grab a shake and an insult at confessionville. Major tourist attractions include the walk of fame, where all the stars of our favorite drama queens will literally burn your shoes off if you step on them. Visit the Wax Museum and get mocked and yelled at by your favorite MC stars! Or, if you're feeling like having some fun, visit the museum of stupidities, and look at all the amazing pictures and artifacts from our most ridiculous members!

Don't forget to visit the hall of mirrors at the post partum body fair this wednesday! Or, watch your friends get brutally assaulted by a barrage of angry negativity pirhanhas after fishing too deep at the compliment waterhole!




Don't forget to grab a map at the local admin office to direct you to even more exciting destinations in Rustic Cafemomabama.



Your turn! If Cafemom were an actual phsyical place, what would it look like to you?


In case there is any question:

For those of you cm'ers located in Alabama, no, there is not a specific reason I chose 'Bama' as a suffix for morer aptly titled 'cafemomland'. It was the first thing to come to mind. I apologize in advance for any hint of bias towards your fair state that I may have expressed. I have never been there, I'm sure it's lovely.

by on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:19 AM
Replies (11-20):
rfhsure
by beast mode on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:33 AM

Do I get an A for effort? I was really excitedly anticipating a far more impressive display of creativity from other cafemommers who could truly capture the essence of what they think it would be. Perhaps I should rethink such an offputting title.

And thank you, for the compliment regarding my hair. I hope it isn't too trashy or tacky, perhaps I will post a picture of it to make sure that I'm getting the proper amount of validation aside from this one one, measly compliment. This is Cafemom, I would like a bucketfull of validation and a confetti reception, please.

Seriously though, thank you. that is quite nice.

Quoting Sanctimommy:

Your metaphors might be all mixed the fuck up, but I like your hair.

Despite (or perhaps because of) my night time cold medicine, I found this post to be fucking hilarious.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:34 AM

ROFL.....I'm in the domestic discipline marriage groups so.....I guess some people are really shocked when they come to our town!

rfhsure
by beast mode on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:35 AM

you're excluding though, all the anonymous women who want to have an orgasmic experience with other women. Perhaps there would be a 24 hour bath-house in cafemomland?

Quoting Anonymous:

No one would be around because everyone is having " amazing, twice a day, orgasm inducing sex"! Yea right


rfhsure
by beast mode on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:38 AM

oh fuck.  Please digress, what would domestic Disciplinetown be like?

Quoting Anonymous:

ROFL.....I'm in the domestic discipline marriage groups so.....I guess some people are really shocked when they come to our town!


Mummy2Connor
by Karissa on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:40 AM
Man, I can't top your creativeness!
It sounds terrifying!!
Sanctimommy
by Platinum Member on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 My rank is only sufficiently high enough to offer you SweetPeas and/or food porn.

skiing

Because I am lazy, I have selected a skiing SweetPea and a picture of key lime pie.

Disclamer: Please do not lick the SweetPea. SweetPea under pressure. Do not shake SweetPea. If SweetPea begins to itch, please discontinue use and consult a physician. SweetPea is not a lawyer. Avoid prolonged contact with SweetPea. Do not make eye contact with SweetPea. If blistering develops, apply ice immediately and call your mother. Key lime pie contains pixels which are known carcinogens. Do not inhale key lime pie as this could prove fatal. If you or someone you love has kissed the key lime pie, please get tested.

Quoting rfhsure:

Do I get an A for effort? I was really excitedly anticipating a far more impressive display of creativity from other cafemommers who could truly capture the essence of what they think it would be. Perhaps I should rethink such an offputting title.

And thank you, for the compliment regarding my hair. I hope it isn't too trashy or tacky, perhaps I will post a picture of it to make sure that I'm getting the proper amount of validation aside from this one one, measly compliment. This is Cafemom, I would like a bucketfull of validation and a confetti reception, please.

Seriously though, thank you. that is quite nice.

Quoting Sanctimommy:

Your metaphors might be all mixed the fuck up, but I like your hair.

Despite (or perhaps because of) my night time cold medicine, I found this post to be fucking hilarious.



EntrepeneurMom
by The Major on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:46 AM
I already did this, vvinky was voted mayor :)

rfhsure
by beast mode on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:47 AM
1 mom liked this

FUCK! I was upset that you didn't give me a confetti reception that I shook the sweet pea and rubbed it all over my eyes while snorting the key lime pie!

You will be in contact with my lawyer, as the disclaimer should have been read allowed very, very swiftly.

Quoting Sanctimommy:

 My rank is only sufficiently high enough to offer you SweetPeas and/or food porn.

skiing

Because I am lazy, I have selected a skiing SweetPea and a picture of key lime pie.

Disclamer: Please do not lick the SweetPea. SweetPea under pressure. Do not shake SweetPea. If SweetPea begins to itch, please discontinue use and consult a physician. SweetPea is not a lawyer. Avoid prolonged contact with SweetPea. Do not make eye contact with SweetPea. If blistering develops, apply ice immediately and call your mother. Key lime pie contains pixels which are known carcinogens. Do not inhale key lime pie as this could prove fatal. If you or someone you love has kissed the key lime pie, please get tested.

Quoting rfhsure:

Do I get an A for effort? I was really excitedly anticipating a far more impressive display of creativity from other cafemommers who could truly capture the essence of what they think it would be. Perhaps I should rethink such an offputting title.

And thank you, for the compliment regarding my hair. I hope it isn't too trashy or tacky, perhaps I will post a picture of it to make sure that I'm getting the proper amount of validation aside from this one one, measly compliment. This is Cafemom, I would like a bucketfull of validation and a confetti reception, please.

Seriously though, thank you. that is quite nice.

Quoting Sanctimommy:

Your metaphors might be all mixed the fuck up, but I like your hair.

Despite (or perhaps because of) my night time cold medicine, I found this post to be fucking hilarious.




Danapopcorn
by AbbyCat on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:49 AM

During black friday


Quoting Mommy2ETnBM:

It would look like Wal-Mart at 2am on a Friday night. 



BestestMom11
by Gold Member on Aug. 6, 2013 at 2:51 AM
Cafemomabama would have fast food chains that specialized in to-go Hamburger Helper meals, fried Oreos, and Fat Tuesday "drinks".

While on the opposite corner, chains that sold all fruit & veggie smoothies, and carrot stick & broccoli baskets. Of course, the fruits and veggies would be non-gmo, organic, and a product of the USA.
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