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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

What would you do- teen parent childcare question

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 77 Replies

A friend of mine faced this scenario today and told me about it. What would you do?

Her older daughter is 20 with a 5 year old son. They live at home with my friend and her other daughter, who is almost 18. 18 year old daughter frequently gets stuck watching her nephew, as the older daughter is a bit flakey and "forgets" about work, appointments or plans she made. This means that the 18 year old sometimes has to cancel her plans because she is the only one free to watch him.

Today, the 20 year old got called into work at the last minute. The 18 year old has had plans all week to go to an amusement park with her friends. She simply told her sister she wasn't doing it. Her sister was halfway out the door and said she would be fired if she didn't go in. 18 year old said she was just going to leave and would call someone saying 20 year old left her son at home alone, because she wasn't going to cancel her plans for the thousandth time.

The 20 year old ended up getting written up and is on strict probation because she had to stay home. 

If you were their mom, what would you do? Would you punish the 18 year old at all?

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:29 AM
5 moms liked this
No, the oldest daughter should not force her sister into something that isn't her problem.
2ninos4me
by Mrs.Erika2 on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Punish the 18 yr old ?? Why ????? Im sorry but the mom is the 20 yr old not the 18 yr old .... Is mot fair to her that her sister isnt woman enough to be a good mom to her kid !!!! Is her son therefore it was her fault she got written !!!! ..... She is a mom and should act like it !!! Kids are not meant to be pawned on family members !!!!
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LovlyRita
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:30 AM
No. It's not the 18 year olds problem.

Kazoo22
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope. the mother should be the responsible one. She shouldn't assume the 18 year old will watch her child. I went through the same thing with my sister and her son. She's 30 now and still lives with my parents along with her 11 year old son. They have got to stop her right now, because the more they let her get away with it, the harder it will be for them to get her to stop later. 

AlwaysKISA
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM
3 moms liked this
Good for the 18 year old. I'm glad she stood up for herself. That's bullshit.
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Peaceful.chaos
by Ruby Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM
They're adults. Let them work it out.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM

The 18 year old was threatening to actually leave the 5 year old home alone and then call CPS or the police on his mom.

My friend doesn't think the 18 year old being forced to cancel her plans is right, obviously, but because of that. 

Quoting 2ninos4me:

Punish the 18 yr old ?? Why ????? Im sorry but the mom is the 20 yr old not the 18 yr old .... Is mot fair to her that her sister isnt woman enough to be a good mom to her kid !!!! Is her son therefore it was her fault she got written !!!! ..... She is a mom and should act like it !!! Kids are not meant to be pawned on family members !!!!



1likeme
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this
First of all it would not be my place to punish an adult. Secondly I would never allow one of my children to have such little respect for their younger sibling. I would have had a come to Jesus talk with the 20YO as soon as I saw she was taking advantage of her sibling.
cstargarner
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:34 AM
1 mom liked this

nope, not her kid, not her responsibility.  The 20 yr old needs to HIRE (as in pay for) a sitter.  If she chooses to pay her sister, she needs to give her a schedule ahead of time.  I honestly can't see the older one getting written up for not being able to go to work at the last minute.  My guess would be that she either forgot she had to work (again) or never called back saying she couldn't go in and got written up for not saying anything? 

annelauer
by on Aug. 7, 2013 at 12:34 AM
3 moms liked this
Absolutely not! The child is the responsibility of the mother. She needs to find daycare and likely owes her sister a ton of favors!
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