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I think I'm ready to tie my tubes

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 55 Replies

I went to the doctor 4 years ago and told him that I wanted to tie my tubes. I didn't want to mess with birth control anymore and I didn't want more children. I was only 25 at the time with one child and single. He told me he wouldn't feel right doing that because I still had 5 good child-birthing years ahead of me. He also said I might meet a guy that wanted children and it would be a deal breaker for them. 

I'm 29 now and I still feel the same way. I have also been seeing someone casually for a year and a half but since we live an hour apart and I'm restricted on leaving my house since I have a child (7) we aren't really in a relationship and both still talk to other people though he has brought up being in a relationship a few times recently. Anyway... he doesn't want kids and is really happy knowing that I would like to be kid free also. And I'm sure there are other men that would be happy not breeding though I have met so many that bring it up on a first date and it's a big deal to them to spawn and I swear the want and incubator, not a partner. 

I guess I'm just a little nervous but I think it's a good thing. I have dreams of kayaking the Mississippi River for 3 months and living off the grid, leaving my house in the middle of the night to just drive somewhere and I long to work late shift hours that aren't restricted to daycare schedules. It has also been SOOO hard being a single mother and dealing with daycare and work and still trying to give her the same opportunities I had growing up like camp, dance, 4H, etc. 

I guess I just want to hear other moms thoughts. Any moms that thought they would never want kids and then regretted it later? I will admit I never got to experience having someone by my side when I was pregnant or be in the hospital with me (yeah, I got knocked up by one of those type that like to spread the seed...). That would be beautiful to experience and having someone at home to help and sharing in the expenses and driving around and daycare needs. But I just don't think I can do it.

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
iHEAVENn
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:38 AM

If you are done, then you are done. 

I personally am 26 and at 20 after having my son I swore NO MORE KIDS... I have been saying No more kids for the past 6 years.... and 4 months ago hubby and I realized we would like at least one more kid lol. 

Life can change, your feelings can change.... just think it through before you do it. 

SexyDiva19
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:39 AM
How sure are you that you dont want anymore kids? If you or he are still seeing another people, I wouldnt be too quick to put all my eggs in his basket, kwim? Also, say you 2 decide to be together exclusively and he changes his mind down the road about wanting kids, are you willing to go through a reversal? Make sure you sit down and think it through really hard and weigh the pros and cons.
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Lvonlucky
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:40 AM
2 moms liked this
Don't do it! I'm 33 was in a horrible marriage and didn't want his kids. I'm now re married to the love of my life and wish we couldhhave one
blue123244
by on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:40 AM

I had my first child when I was 35 and my second at 36 but I always knew I wanted children, just for some reason I couldnt get pregnant right away - even though I was married - I can really appreciate how diificult it is for single moms - I'm not sure and this may sound stupid but is the procedure reversible? Is bc somehow out of the picture for you? how does the guy feel about your child btw I'm just curious - Is there a kind of bc that is not too much trouble?  Anyway good luck with your decisions - 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:41 AM

I can't imagine starting over. The older she gets the more I don't want to do it again. But I have heard that there are moms that decide to have another after there child is grown up. 


Quoting iHEAVENn:

If you are done, then you are done. 

I personally am 26 and at 20 after having my son I swore NO MORE KIDS... I have been saying No more kids for the past 6 years.... and 4 months ago hubby and I realized we would like at least one more kid lol. 

Life can change, your feelings can change.... just think it through before you do it. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:48 AM

I had the mirena (5) years and the first one went great. I had it replaced a year ago because I loved that it kept the periods away but it didn't react well and I had to have a hook removal done after numerous infections and problems. I have now been on the shot which I have to do every 3 months but it is keeping the periods away at least. 

My guy doesn't actually see my DD. He has met her one time this summer but I had made it clear right from the beginning that he would not be seeing my DD for 6 months to a year and he has not pushed that issue. We mostly have a long distance relationship. We see each other 1-2 times per month and text and call and FB daily. We have been making microscopic steps towards a real relationship but it is the healthiest relationship I have ever been in. 

Quoting blue123244:

I had my first child when I was 35 and my second at 36 but I always knew I wanted children, just for some reason I couldnt get pregnant right away - even though I was married - I can really appreciate how diificult it is for single moms - I'm not sure and this may sound stupid but is the procedure reversible? Is bc somehow out of the picture for you? how does the guy feel about your child btw I'm just curious - Is there a kind of bc that is not too much trouble?  Anyway good luck with your decisions - 



SexyDiva19
by Silver Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:50 AM
Im 24 and my ds is 8 and like you I dread the thought of starting all over again because they are just now at the age where they are getting a little independance. Unlike you though I want at least 2 or 3 more if not just 1 more so that my son wont be alone in the world once Im gone. Im not in a place right now or with anyone at the moment but I also dont want to wait forever either.

Quoting Anonymous:

I can't imagine starting over. The older she gets the more I don't want to do it again. But I have heard that there are moms that decide to have another after there child is grown up. 



Quoting iHEAVENn:

If you are done, then you are done. 

I personally am 26 and at 20 after having my son I swore NO MORE KIDS... I have been saying No more kids for the past 6 years.... and 4 months ago hubby and I realized we would like at least one more kid lol. 

Life can change, your feelings can change.... just think it through before you do it. 




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Grumpylilpixy
by on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:51 AM

Don't do it. Everyone I know regrets it now they are in their mid 30's.

Megan214
by Bronze Member on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:58 AM
I'm 29 and I had mine done. Every time I see a baby I'm all "Awww!". Doesn't change the fact that I don't want anymore. :) I'm very happy knowing that I can enjoy my hubby and not worry if my time of the month is late.
I do know that some woman change their minds later on down the line. I would say if you are sure then go for it. Or you can do the five year thing again and get them done after.
Mummy2Connor
by Karissa on Aug. 8, 2013 at 2:59 AM
What about getting an IUD, or Nexplanon?
I believe I heard the IUD is good up to 10 years!

I got the Nexplanon in my arm recently, and its good for 3 years. They are the most effective form of birth control (besides abstinence, hehe)
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